The Wrong Pawsteps
by entity9silvergen
Summary: When Jaypaw is sent back in time to walk with the ancients, a certain sharpclaw took his place in the time of the clans. Confused and injured, Jay's Wing struggles with his new life in ThunderClan as a blind medicine cat while Jaypaw enjoys the life he's always wanted. (Requested Story) [Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors]
1. Prologue

The midday sun shined brightly, rays of sunlight filtering through the forest leaves as they rustled in the wind. A young tom paused in his pawsteps to enjoy the cool breeze ruffle his fur. He closed his eyes for a moment to listen to the beautiful sound of a bird's song echoing from deep in the forest and enjoy the warmth of the sun on his grey pelt. He took a deep breath as he opened his faded eyes and walked through a thorn barrier feeling calm. Unfortunately that was going to change.

"Jawpaw!"

The sharp voice that rang through the camp made the tom flinch. Jaypaw let out a sigh. His high of tranquility and peace began to fade upon hearing Leafpool. _What does she want?_

"Where have you been?" Leafpool demanded, walking up to him by the entrance. Jaypaw didn't immediately respond. His blind gaze drifted to the side. He sensed a heat rise up in Leafpool's chest as her annoyance with him grew into a mild fury. He inwardly purred to himself. "Well?"

"I… uh…" Jaypaw couldn't think of anything to say. In truth, he'd spent the day by the lake curled up in an abandoned badger den with the stick he'd found all those moons ago. He couldn't explain his obsession with it. It just called out to him. Quite literally. As he absentmindedly ran through his duties each and every day, his thoughts were always on getting back to the stick so he could listen to the mysterious whispers that came from it.

But, of course, he couldn't tell his mentor that right now. She'd think there were bees in his brain but he couldn't think of a good excuse. _I should have picked up some herbs on the way back to camp… then I could pretend I was out herb gathering. She couldn't get mad at me for that._ That wasn't true. Leafpool always seemed to find a way to get upset with him. _She'd probably say we already had a good supply of whatever herb I gathered._

Leafpool let out a sigh but Jaypaw sensed it did not relieve her tension. "You're a medicine cat, Jaypaw. You can't just waste your day lazing about."

"I wasn't lazing about," Jaypaw said defensively.

"Well whatever it was you do when you wander off like that, it's not more important than your duties. You can't just ignore them," Leafpool told him. She sighed again and looked out at the forest through the thorn barrier thoughtfully. "I may need to start telling Thornclaw or whoever is on guard duty to let me know when you leave camp."

"What?" Jaypaw said in shock. Anger welled up in his belly. _How dare she?_ She couldn't stop him from leaving like some kit!

"Or maybe even an escort," she murmured to herself as if she hadn't heard him.

"I don't need an escort!" Jaypaw hissed and whipped around to stalk out of camp.

"Jaypaw, wait!" Leafpool called after him. There wasn't any crossness in her voice this time, she had a faint note of genuine concern in her voice. _That's even worse._ He hated when cats worried about him like that. They didn't have that tone with anyone else. Just him.

 _All they see me as is poor, blind, helpless Jaypaw,_ he thought bitterly. _Well I'm not! I'm just as strong as they are and the only one not blind here is me. They know nothing!_

A voice in the back of his mind told him that he wasn't being fair but he was too upset to care. He felt he had good reason. As a kit, like any kit, he had always dreamed of freedom. He understood why kits were confined to camp but that didn't make it any easier.

He knew cats looked at him different due to his disability but when he was young, he never thought it would stop him from doing anything until one day he heard his parents discussing the first time he'd leave the territory. They were considering taking him out before becoming an apprentice so he could familiarize himself with the territory.

They hadn't known he was listening, they never found out, but hearing those words from them stung like a blow to the chest. He dreamed of freedom but that day he realized he would always be restricted. Becoming an apprentice would not give him what he longed for.

And, of course, he later gave up the path of a warrior. He was better suited to be a medicine cat but he soon realized that choice was like taking a big step backwards. Medicine cats had even more rules and responsibilities.

And now Leafpool was speaking of stripping away even more of his freedom. Taking his one escape. Jaypaw couldn't find the words to describe how that made him feel.

Jaypaw realized he was back at the lake when he felt the dry earth of the forest turn to the damp lakeside mud. He hadn't intended to come back here twice in one day but his legs brought him here while he was too wrapped up in his thoughts to steer them.

Now aware of his movements, Jaypaw walked to the water's edge and followed it towards the old badger den where he hid his stick. His scent from earlier was still pretty fresh, it hadn't been very long.

When he ducked into the den, he immediately sensed something was wrong. He reached out with his paw to feel around. He only felt dirt. _Where is it?_

Trying to ignore the alarm trying to take over his body, he turned around and swept the ground with his tail. His tail did not touch the smooth wood of the shaven stick he was searching for. _Where is it?_

The feeling of alarm had escalated into full blown panic by now as Jaypaw frantically scratched at the ground and nosed through the dirt in an effort to find his beloved stick. _Where is it? Where is it? Where in the name of StarClan are you?_

The blind apprentice sat back on his haunches and tried to calm down. He closed his eyes and titled his head so his chin rested on his chest. He felt it rise as he took a few deep breaths and inhaled the earth scent of the abandoned badger den. It did little to calm his nerves and the musty smell suddenly made him feel trapped. Getting back to his paws, he walked out of the den.

His anger with Leafpool was long gone. He knew now would be a good time to head back home and talk things out with her but he knew his anxiety would run rampant through his mind and body until he found his stick. He just had to find it. That stick was his only friend and his only escape from living in the clan. He couldn't understand its whispers but they comforted him and the stick always listened when he had something to say and it certainly never treated him differently for his blindness.

Jaypaw felt often felt ridiculous for having a friendship with a stick but he honestly did not care right now. All he cared about was getting it back. He just had to.

Logic told him that the stick was in the surrounding area, that he must've left it somewhere and forgotten to hide it but something was pulling him in another direction and Jaypaw broke into a run towards WindClan territory.

The second his paws left the ground, he knew where the feeling was telling him to go. The tunnels. He knew in his mind that it was impossible but he just had to check.

Jaypaw was slightly out of breath by the time he reached the tunnel's entrance. Thankfully he was naturally lean but being a medicine cat didn't really give him many opportunities to exercise. He couldn't remember the last time he had run.

Ignoring the shortness of breath, Jaypaw padded down into the tunnels. He was hit by the same earthy, musty smell that was in the badger den but this scent was laced with wetness. Memories of the flood followed by a flash of fear struck him but he pushed it aside, far too focused to worry about something like that.

The tunnels were cool and he had the feeling of darkness surrounding him. He always felt at home here like this but he could never figure out why. Maybe it was because he was blind. Down here, that did not matter. If anything, it made him stronger.

That too was not something to concern himself over at the moment. His stick, he had to find his stick. That was all that mattered right now.

Jaypaw sniffed, hoping to catch the scent of something but all he could smell was the familiar underground air. Slight frustration found a place beside the stress that had long since covered his body. He pawed the ground knowing that wandering aimlessly did him no good but too restless to stay perfectly still.

His sense of smell wasn't going to help him. Jaypaw once again lowered his head but his time he pricked his ears, hoping to hear something. After a few moments, the distant sound of flowing water filled his ears. He knew he was far from the underground river but that still brought back unpleasant memories.

Jaypaw closed his eyes and concentrated a bit harder. _Where are you? Where are you?_ Jaypaw felt pressure building on his forehead. His head was starting to hurt a bit from focusing so hard but he didn't let up. He knew that if his stick knew he was looking for it, it would whisper louder. _Oh StarClan, let me find it._

His prayers were answered. He could barely hear it but for a split second, he heard voices. His heart rate sped up in excitement. He was briefly worried that he wouldn't be able to hear the whispers over it but the sound increased in volume.

"I'm coming!" Jaypaw yowled. His voice echoed in the caves but he could still hear the whispers cut through the echoes. For some reason, they did not have echoes of their own.

Jaypaw bounded deeper into the tunnels following the voices. They never seemed to get closer or farther but that made sense to him even though he didn't know why. It just did.

Jaypaw began scenting again, hoping that now he could smell the scent of the wood. He picked up something but it wasn't what he was looking for. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what the scent was but it was unfamiliar. He chose to follow it.

The ThunderClan cat followed the scent even deeper into the tunnels. He quickly realized it was a scent trail and followed the scent through the twists and turns of the labyrinth like he was navigating a maze. He eventually realized he was making his way back towards the entrance.

Finally, the scent trail stopped. Jaypaw, nose to the ground, followed it as it lead right into a wall. He cocked his head in confusion, unsure of how to proceed. He lifted a paw and tapped it against the wall. Like nearly all of the tunnel walls, it was made of a compact dirt. He felt some rub off on his paw. It was damp.

Jaypaw continued to run his paw against the wall until his paw hit air. Feeling around, he realized there was an opening in the wall.

Dropping to his belly, he poked his head through it. Immediately, he was welcomed by the sound of his stick's whispers.

"I'm coming," he whispered in response. He inched forward and tried to get his shoulders through the hole. The hole wasn't too big, it was barely big enough for him to fit through. He was sure that if his brother Lionpaw was down here, he wouldn't be able to fit through. It was pure luck that it was just the right size to fit a small cat like Jaypaw.

As Jaypaw squeezed through, he felt loose dirt land on his back. Worry prickled his pelt but he was too close to back down now. He reached out with one paw and felt around before him. He felt one of his toes brush a familiar wood.

Jaypaw scooted forward a bit and tried to get his paw to solidly land on it. He didn't unsheath his claws for fear of damaging the stick.

Jaypaw tried to push himself forward a bit more but his entire body up to his haunches was deep in the tunnel. Actually, it was more of a hole in the wall. It wasn't big enough to be considered a tunnel.

Jaypaw shifted his weight onto the paw he wasn't using and lifted himself up a bit. Immediately he regretted it. The hole didn't have the height for him to stand so holding himself with his belly just barely off the ground was incredibly difficult but it increased the length of his reach a bit so he forced himself to hold the awkward position.

Jaypaw pushed his back into the ceiling. Behind him, his tail lashed wildly as he tried to keep his balance. Finally, he brought his paw down flatly on the stick. He began to move backwards using his hind legs to drag the rest of him out.

Once out of the hole, Jaypaw flopped down tiredly and curled up beside his stick, happy to be reunited. He purred as the sticks whispers filled his ears.

"How did you get all the way out here?" he asked softly despite knowing that the stick could not respond. Picking it up gently in his teeth, Jaypaw rose to his feet and tried to reorient himself so he could find a way out.

A strange sound filled his ears. He felt something fall from above and hit him in the back causing him to jump in surprise. To his relief, it was just dirt. He shook his pelt, sending the dirt flying.

Jaypaw felt the ground shake beneath his paws which was followed by a loud thud. He reached out with his paw again to feel the wall. The soil flaked at his touch and he couldn't find the opening that he had squeezed through. His suspicions were confirmed, the small tunnel had collapsed.

Another chunk of dirt fell from the ceiling and landed beside the apprentice with a splat. _I must've weakened the support when I messed with that tunnel_ ,Jaypaw realized. With his stick still in his jaws, he began moving towards the exit that he knew was nearby.

He heard the walls rattle as he ran by them, his fur brushing the loose dirt. He didn't have time to lick it off, he knew he had to get out and fast.

Another shake seized the tunnels. This one was so powerful that Jaypaw had to stop moving and crouch, widening his stance to support himself. The shaking grew stronger. _Is there an earthquake?_

Realizing that the trembles weren't going to stop, Jaypaw straightened himself a bit with the intent of continuing towards his destination but he was quickly swept out off his feet and he slammed into the ground. The impact knocked the wind out of him, making him gasp and nearly drop the stick.

Jaypaw tried to get up again but found he couldn't balance and the tremors weren't letting up. Lying flat as a snake, Jaypaw began creeping forward on his belly.

Jaypaw heard a loud splat beside. Something wet hit his fur as it splattered upon hitting the ground. Jaypaw instinctively flinched and began moving faster.

He heard several more splats over the roar of the shaking earth. In a moment, he knew what was happening. The tunnel's structure was wet and failing. It was going to collapse.

Breathing rhythmically to calm his racing nerves, Jaypaw rose to his paws and launched himself forward in a powerful leap in an effort to make a break for it but he only made it about a fox length before he was knocked off his paws by the forceful trembling.

A sound like claws on stone filled his ears and a loud crash echoed from behind him through the tunnels. Jaypaw didn't stop to try and figure out what it was. If anything, it was just a sign that he had to hurry up and get out of there. He rose to his paws to try again.

This time, he was able to run for about two tail lengths before falling again. He grit his teeth, careful not to damage his stick. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, overwhelmed. The stick's voices whispered encouragingly.

Jaypaw heard another crash, this one closer. Seeing that running in these small bursts wasn't working, the apprentice resumed inching forward. Yet another crash sounded behind him, pushing him to move forward.

Eventually, there was a crash so close that when the falling object hit the ground, it sent up a shower of mud, drenching Jaypaw in the cold, wet dirt. He suppressed a shiver and moved onward.

He heard claws on stone once again. Jaypaw looked up, sensing something above him. A flash of light filled his vision and he was suddenly able to see. In any other circumstance, he would have been overjoyed but the sight before, or rather above, him filled him with a bolt of fear that struck him down to the bone.

Thundering down from above him was a massive chunk of stone. Time seemed to slow as the rock pummeled towards him. Jaypaw had believed he was panicking before. He know knew that what he felt earlier was nothing like true fear.

Jaypaw felt his heart rate increase tenfold and a hot feeling rise from his chest and consume his body, making him tremble just as hard as the tunnel. His now sighted gaze locked on the rock coming towards him.

Time regained its usual speed and Jaypaw felt a sharp pain before he even knew what hit him. He let out a strangled cry and tried to push himself away but a stream of pain shot up through his body so extreme that his vision was filled with black spots.

Jaypaw felt a warm liquid running across his skin. He knew in a moment that it was blood. He suddenly felt very weak lying there on the tunnel floor. His eyes drifted off to the side in search of his stick but his eyes rolled back and his mind went dark as he fell into unconsciousness.


	2. Ghosts

"Hollypaw, slow down," Lionpaw growled as he chased after the black she-cat through the threes. "This isn't a race!"

"And where's the fun in that?" Hollypaw said with a gleam of thrill in her eye. "Seriously Lionpaw, we're never going to be warriors if we take it slow all the time."

"And we're never going to get anything done right if we rush all the time," Lionpaw grumbled in response as he slowed down to a fast trot.

"Your brother has a point, Hollypaw," Brackenfur said from where he and Ashfur stood behind their two apprentices. "We're heading to Sky Oak. There's no sense in going there at all if we scare off all the prey on the way."

"You're right," Hollypaw sighed and fell into step beside her mentor. "I guess I got kind of overexcited."

"And there's nothing wrong with that," Brackenfur told her.

Ashfur looked at Lionpaw. "You're usually the rash one. I sense a warrior is becoming of you."

Lionpaw gave his chest a few embarrassed licks. He wasn't used to Ashfur praising him.

 _"Living…"_

"Did one of you say something?" Lionpaw asked, spooked. He looked around the forest, his eyes scanning the trees.

"Hmm? No."

"I didn't hear anything."

"Oh. I must just be hearing things," Lionpaw said. He could've sworn he heard something. He turned his attention back to the path. _That was weird._

 _"...souls…"_

"I definitely heard something just now," Hollypaw said. She too began looking around.

"Are you sure?" Ashfur asked. "I don't hear anything."

 _"...come…"_

Lionpaw paused in his steps and unsheathed his claws. His fur bristled. He was thoroughly spooked by now.

"Are you alright?" Brackenfur asked.

"Do you really not hear that?" Lionpaw questioned.

 _"...help…"_

"It sounds like someone is asking for help," Hollypaw said.

"Are you two trying to pull some kind of joke?" Ashfur asked. "Because honestly, I'd expect better from you two."

"This isn't something to joke about," Hollypaw insisted seriously.

 _"...One of you…"_

Lionpaw pricked his ears, trying to pinpoint the source of the voice.

 _"...will soon join me…"_

He pawed the ground in frustration. _It's like the sound is in my head._

Brackenfur sighed. "I believe you. Where's the sound coming from?"

"I don't know," Hollypaw said with just as much frustration in her voice as Lionpaw felt.

 _"...save him…"_

"What does it sound like?" Ashfur asked. He pricked his ears to listen.

"It's a voice," Hollypaw told him. "But it doesn't sound like any voice I've ever heard."

"It's like," Lionpaw shivered, "cold. Like it's not really there."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ashfur asked. "I can't-"

 _"Living cats help the dying soul!"_ The voice echoed powerfully through the dense forest. The ground trembled beneath the four cats paws. Lionpaw crouched and put his ears back as he steadied himself. Ashfur looked around wildly.

"I definitely just heard that," the pale grey tom said.

"I did too." Brackenfur nodded.

 _"Come!"_ the voice boomed. The trembling ground began to crack before the ThunderClan cats.

"Get back!" Brackenfur ordered and shoved Hollypaw back. Lionpaw took a step backward and Ashfur shouldered his way in front of him protectively.

The dry earth didn't split more than a crack but the cats still eyed it warily even after the ground stopped shaking. It was as if they could sense what was about to happen.

 _"Help!"_ From the crack in the ground, something began rising.

"Great StarClan!" Lionpaw heard Hollypaw whisper.

From the crack slipped a sleek figure through the earth. Lionpaw felt Ashfur tense in fear against him. The figure was distinctly catlike and cats didn't just appear out of the ground. That was impossible.

 _"Follow."_ The cat stepped forward before any of the ThunderClan cats could react and walked right through them. Lionpaw shivered as he felt the cat pass through him. The cat had a cold, damp trait to him.

"Ashfur?" Lionpaw looked to his mentor who was gaping at the strange cat, speechless and eyes wide.

"Is that- is that a ghost?" Hollypaw whispered.

The ghost stopped in its tracks and looked back at them. _"Follow."_

The cat did seem incredibly ghostly. Lionpaw could see the trees right through his pelt and his fur held no stars like he heard that StarClan cats had nor did his fur have any color. It was like he wasn't even there.

 _"Follow!"_ the ghost cat bellowed, turning on them. Lionpaw flinched at the intensity and moved into a defensive stance with his legs bent and paws forward.

"Should we…?" Hollypaw asked. Brackenfur nodded wordlessly.

Ashfur was the first to take a step forward and was soon followed by Lionpaw then Brackenfur and Hollypaw. Swishing his tail in satisfaction, the ghost cat turned back around and moved onward.

Hollypaw bounded forward a bit to get closer to the ghost cat. Brackenfur eyed her with concern. "Hollypaw, wait!"

Hollypaw ignored her mentor's warnings and fell in stride beside the ghost cat. Or she would have if the ghost had clearly defined legs to walk with.

"Hi. I'm Hollypaw," she introduced. "I'm an apprentice in ThunderClan. Who are you?"

 _"...Fallen Leaves…"_

"Fallen Leaves? That's a nice name. Where are you taking us?"

 _"...Cat…"_

"A cat? What cat? What's their name?"

 _"... Do not know… Found cat… Injured…"_

"Injured?" Ashfur murmured, getting over his initial shock. "Hollypaw, how much training in medicine did you have?"

"Maybe enough to help a bit but not enough to help a seriously injured cat," Hollypaw gulped.

"Don't worry, Hollypaw. One of us can run back and get Jaypaw or Leafpool if its serious enough," Lionpaw reassured.

 _"Jay… Jay… Jay… Jay…"_

"Where is the cat?" Lionpaw asked, hoping that asking a question would stop the chanting. Fallen Leaves's ghostly tone deeply unnerved him. An ominous wind blew through the forest sending dried leaf-fall leaves spiraling down around them.

 _"...Entrance."_

"Entrance? What entrance?" Brackenfur asked.

" _...Home. By home…"_

"The camp entrance?" Ashfur questioned. "That's pretty far."

" _Home… My home…"_

Lionpaw blinked. _Does that mean this ghost lives on our territory?_ He tried to imagine the number of times he crossed the territory on patrol or just for the sake of running around. That number had no be pretty high. _How many times has this cat been watching me?_

"How far is it?" Hollypaw asked.

" _...Close…Follow."_

The four cats fell silent as Fallen Leaves lead them through the forest. The familiar trees suddenly felt like strangers. Their normally comforting presence did nothing for the suspense in the air. After walking a few fox lengths, Lionpaw smelled blood in the air. He felt his stomach churn.

"Get ready to run home," Ashfur told his apprentice. Lionpaw nodded. The blood scent was strong. Whichever cat was injured was hurt badly.

Fallen Leaves floated forward into the clearing. In it, Lionpaw immediately saw a cat lying unconscious, drenched in blood.

"Great StarClan," he heard Brackenfur whisper. "What would have done this?"

" _...Help Jay…"_ Fallen Leaves requested and disappeared.

"Help Jay? What does that- Great StarClan. Jaypaw!" Lionpaw cried and rushed forward to see if his suspicions were true. Using a paw to wipe away some of the blood, Lionpaw saw familiar grey tabby fur.

"Jaypaw!" Hollypaw rushed forward and began to look over her brother.

"Get back to camp now," Ashfur ordered. Too numb to respond, Lionpaw nodded and charged off into the forest.

* * *

Blood roaring in his ears and chest screaming, Lionpaw thundered through the forest like he was being chased by a hoard of badgers. The thick trees that were found all over ThunderClan territory usually worked to the cats benefit but right now Lionpaw hated them with everything he had. Weaving around them only slowed him down. He had to hurry.

He was in such a hurry that when he broke into another clearing, he slammed straight into Spiderleg.

"What in the name of-" the tom spluttered as the apprentice knocked him clean off his paws. A blackbird's cry sounded through the forest.

"Hey!" Mousepaw said. "You made us miss our catch!"

Spiderleg's eyes widened as he untangled himself from Lionpaw. "Is that blood?"

"No time to explain," Lionpaw gasped out of breath. "Emergency. Near WindClan border. Gotta go get Leafpool. You go help?"

Spiderleg nodded. "Yeah, I'll gather up the rest of our patrol. What's happeni-"

"No time to explain!" Lionpaw said and resumed his dead sprint towards the camp. His chest still burned and the sensation from pushing himself so hard was beginning to spread to the rest of his body but he would not give in. His brother was likely dying and he was the only one who could do something right now.

It didn't take him long to make it back to camp. He burst through the thorn entrance with all the force of his namesake. "Where's Leafpool?"

"Lionpaw! What's wrong?" Squirrelflight asked, looking up from the fresh-kill she was sharing with Brambleclaw.

Cloudtail and Whitewing were sharing tongues nearby. Whitewing lifted her head and sniffed. "I smell blood."

"Are you alright?" Brambleclaw asked concerned.

"It's not mine," Lionpaw said, still gasping for air. "Where's Leafpool?"

"Are you hurt?" Squirrelflight asked, getting up to look over him.

Lionpaw pulled away. He didn't have time for this. He looked around the clearing for a sensible cat. "Stormfur, where's Leafpool? Is she in her den?"

Stormfur nodded. "I think so. Why? Did something happen?"

Lionpaw nodded, already running towards the medicine den. He didn't run far. He skidded to a messy halt inside.

"Oh Lionpaw!" Leafpool exasperated. "You just knocked over my- is that blood on your paws?"

"Emergency. WindClan border," Lionpaw got out. He was heaving by now. It felt like he his chest was being crushed by a log or like he was deep underwater. Needless to say, speaking was getting difficult but he hardly noticed. Adrenaline was running rampant through him, giving him the impetus he needed to keep going. "Blood. Lots of blood. Need help."

Leafpool nodded once and grabbed a bundle of cobweb in her jaws. "Lead the way."

* * *

"Great StarClan! Jaypaw!" Leafpool shouted through the bundle when she and Lionpaw arrived at the clearing. Lionpaw realized he should have explained the situation on the way here but he was too anxious and out of breath to do so.

Hollypaw seemed to be doing her best already. Ashfur's paws were soaked in blood as he held drenched cobwebs against Jaypaw's flank and head. Brackenfur ran into the clearing with more cobwebs in his mouth.

"Oh Leafpool's here. Thank StarClan," he sighed and set down the cobwebs. "I was getting worried."

Leafpool pushed some cobwebs towards Hollypaw. "You still remember how to dress a wound?" Hollypaw nodded. "Treat his flank. Ashfur, move your paw. I need to see his head."

Ashfur nodded and pulled his paw back. He sat back on his haunches to wipe his bloody paws on his belly fur in case he was needed again. The red smear stood out against his paleness. His eyes widened when he looked back at Jaypaw who was no longer covered in anything but that deep red liquid leaking from his body.

Lionpaw gasped when he saw the full extent of Jaypaw's injuries. He lay sprawled out on the ground as if broken. There was likely something broken but he wasn't a medicine cat so he couldn't tell. Dirt and blood covered his pelt. The fur on his back was partially missing revealing bare skin and exposed flesh oozing with blood.

His belly also had a long gash in it. Lionpaw didn't have a clear view of it but he was certain that the pool of blood his brother was lying in was mostly coming from that wound.

Jaypaw had a number of minor scratches all over his body but his worst injury was on his head. Lionpaw didn't even want to look at it. It was clear that something had struck him there. He couldn't really tell what kind of injury or make any guesses to how he could have gotten it but there was blood coming from it, spilling into his eyes, nose, and mouth making Lionpaw want to look away and vomit. He withheld his urges and tried to think of a way to help.

Leafpool somehow kept her composure but her distress was evident. She hurriedly began working on a complex cobweb dressing to put on her apprentice's head.

"Do you know what happened?" Leafpool asked as she placed the cobweb on the wound.

Brackenfur spoke since Hollypaw was dressing wounds, Ashfur was applying pressure, and Lionpaw was trying to catch his breath. "No. We were heading to Sky Oak and- well, long story short, we just found him like this."

"Did you move him?"

Brackenfur shook his head then seemed to realize Leafpool wasn't looking at him. "No, he was here. Why?"

"There's no way he could have gotten these injuries here." Leafpool frowned. "It looks like he was attacked or something fell on him. There's nothing around that could leave a wound like this."

"Maybe that cat Fallen Leaves moved him?" Lionpaw offered, moving a bit closer so that he wasn't in the way but so he was close enough to be of assistance if anyone asked.

"Who?"

"Not important right now," Brackenfur said knowing that Leafpool didn't need any distractions. "Is he going to be alright?"

"I don't know. It looks like he's been like this for awhile," Leafpool said. "Once I stop the bleeding… we probably shouldn't move him but we can't leave him out here. It's leaf-fall and he needs proper treatment… We can try to do it slowly soon. Is there a patrol nearby that can help?"

"I ran into Spiderleg on my way to camp," Lionpaw told her. "I sent them this way but I guess they didn't make it. Should I go find them?"

"Yes," Leafpool responded. "And grab any cobwebs you seen while doing that. We're going to need a lot."

* * *

It was nearly nightfall by the time Leafpool decided that they were going to try to move Jaypaw. She had wanted to wait as long as possible but with the sun setting, they had to get Jaypaw back to camp soon.

Lionpaw had long since found the patrol consisting of Spiderleg, Mousepaw, Sandstorm, Honeypaw, Dustpelt, Hazelpaw, Thornclaw, and Poppypaw. As much as Lionpaw enjoyed being around his fellow apprentices, he really wished that he'd found a patrol of full-fledged warriors. They would've been more help. At least the apprentices could run around the forest to gather herbs for Leafpool and their mentors were all experienced cats.

"All of you get back," Leafpool ordered, waving her tail at the apprentices. Hollypaw, Lionpaw, Honeypaw, Mousepaw, Hazelpaw, and Poppypaw backed up. Leafpool turned to the warriors. "Dustpelt, we're going to try to get him onto your back. Jaypaw is small enough I think."

"Alright." Dustpelt nodded and crouched down. He lowered his tail and flattened his shoulders.

"Thornclaw, Brackenfur, try to get him onto his back. Sandstorm, Ashfur, make sure they stay steady," Leafpool instructed. The warriors nodded and Thornclaw and Brackenfur moved over to Jaypaw's limp and bloodied form.

Leafpool turned to the apprentices, trusting that the warriors would do their job. "Has anyone told Firestar what happened?"

Lionpaw glanced around and shook his head. He'd forgotten to do that.

"We're all busy here so I'm going to send you six ahead," Leafpool told them. "Lionpaw, Hollypaw, you're in charge. I need half of you to go to Firestar's den to let him know what happened and the rest of you to go to my den to get everything prepared."

Lionpaw and Hollypaw each gave the light brown tabby a short nod. Lionpaw risked a glance in his brother's direction. Thornclaw and Brackenfur were easing Jaypaw onto Dustpelt's steady shoulders.

Lionpaw felt a tail tip on his shoulder. He looked into Hollypaw's reassuring green eyes. "Come on," she said. She waved her bust tail towards the other apprentices. "We're in charge of them. They're counting on us and Jaypaw is too."

Lionpaw exhaled slowly. "You're right." He turned to Mousepaw and Poppypaw. "Come on. You two are coming with me."


	3. Awakening

One moment he was lying there frozen in fear awaiting his inevitable demise and the next he was floating in a deep darkness quite unlike his usual blindness. Jaypaw blinked several times in confusion. He had no pain. _Did I dream all that?_ He was sure that rock would crush every bone in his body but somehow, here he was perfectly fine.

Disoriented, the blind medicine cat got to his paws and felt around. His paws didn't touch moss or stone. He wasn't in his nest or even in his den. He was still in the tunnels beneath the territory.

Jaypaw shook his head, trying to clear this strange feeling he had. He could feel something was different but he couldn't identify what it was.

Deciding now was not the time to worry about it, Jaypaw began padding through the tunnels. He didn't know how long he had been laying there. He had to get back home or Leafpool would have a fit.

As he ventured further through the tunnels the impossible happened.

 _I can see._

Light filtered into the tunnels from up ahead. Jaypaw broke into a run towards it, hardly believing this was reality. All around him, he could see the brown dirt that made up the passage. He felt his heart speed up in joy. _I can see!_

Jaypaw couldn't restrain himself from letting out a joyful yowl as he broke to the surface. The sudden exposure to sunlight momentarily blinded him but for once he was blinded with the light instead of the darkness. He almost dared not to blink, wanting to savor every moment of vision in the waking world.

"Jay's Wing!" a voice cried.

Jaypaw looked around. Two she-cats and a tom were thundering towards him at speeds that could rival a WindClan cat. He tilted his head, not recognizing them.

"Jay's Wing, Jay's Wing!" a white she-cat was the first of the three to reach him. Her green eyes shone in the morning light, reflecting pure joy. She pressed her face into Jaypaw's shoulder fur. "I was so worried."

 _She's beautiful,_ Jaypaw thought than snapped himself out of it. He couldn't think like that. He was a medicine cat and he didn't know this cat. He didn't recognize her voice.

"She really was," the tom said. Jaypaw turned to stare at him. He had a brown tabby pelt and piercing amber eyes that looked at him with a genuine happiness that Jaypaw had never witnessed before but the tom seemed to be trying to play himself off like he didn't care about the arrival of the apprentice. "You should've seen her when you didn't surface. She's been waiting here for two sunrises. She wouldn't even leave to hunt. Dove's Wing and I had to bring her prey."

"You didn't have to do that," Jaypaw said, still confused. Why had this cat waited for him? Who was she? She clearly cared for him but he didn't know who she was.

"You were two days late, Jay," the second she-cat said. Her blue eyes bore into him with seriousness but also portrayed her concern. She too looked happy to see him. Jaypaw assumed this was Dove's Wing. "It's unheard of for a softpaw to spend that long in the Rite of Passage."

"What?" Jaypaw said. _A softpaw? The Rite Of Passage? Where am I?_

"You're a sharpclaw now!" the tom exclaimed. "You finally-"

"It doesn't matter if your a sharpclaw or a softpaw," the white she-cat said, pulling away to look into Jaypaw's eyes. He was stunned by their depth. "You were down there for three days. We were so worried. After what happened to Fallen Leaves…"

"I'm sorry," Jaypaw said. He was surprised at the genuinity in his own voice despite not really understanding what he was apologizing for. He tried again. "I really am. I don't know what happened. I was down there and-"

"You know sharpclaws aren't supposed to tell softpaws what happen in the trial," Dove's Wing interrupted.

"But-"

"Don't worry, brother," Dove's Wing said. "I'll be entering the trial soon. If there's anything that you really need to talk about, you can tell me then."

 _Brother?_ Jay's Wing stared at her, stunned. This she-cat was not his sister. He'd never met her before in his life!

"Come on, Jay's Wing," the tom said. He turned and took a few steps away, leading him somewhere. "We should get back to the group to let everyone know you're alive."

 _Did the clan think I was dead? Wait, these aren't ThunderClan cats. And who is this Jay's Wing?_

"And for your sharpclaw ceremony," the white she-cat added. She blinked away her emotions. "I'm sorry. This is such a big day for you. I don't want to ruin it for you. You're finally going to be a sharpclaw!"

"Falling Rain and Falcon Swoop would be so proud of you, Jay's Wing," Dove's Wing told him. "Fallen Leaves too. You completed the trial for both of you, just like you promised."

"Y-yeah," Jaypaw nodded. He swallowed. He didn't know what they were talking about nor did he know why he was pretending he did. Part of his mind was yowling at him to run away or tell them he wasn't this Jay's Wing that they seemed to think he was but another part of his mind kept his mouth shut and his paws planted right there.

"Are you alright?" the white she-cat asked, her eyes brimming with worry. Jaypaw stared into them again. _I gotta stop doing that._ But however hard he tried, he couldn't tear his gaze away. He was drawn to them like moths to a flame. They were so bright and showed such strong feelings. He felt like he could get lost in them and never find his way out.

"Leave him alone, Half Moon," the tom said. "He's got to be exhausted. He's been down there for three days."

"I'm aware of that, Fish Leap," Half Moon glared. She turned back to him. "Let's get going. You still have your sharpclaw ceremony before you can rest."

"R-right," Jaypaw stuttered and padded after these three strange cats who seemed to know him.

* * *

Hollypaw pawed the ground anxiously as she gazed at the medicine den from across the camp lost in thought. More than anything, she wanted to run into the medicine den and see Jaypaw awake and healthy sorting herbs like he often was and ask how she was doing or ask her to take some borage to the elders. She'd even be happy to hear him snap some sharp retort at her.

But that wasn't going to happen anytime soon and she feared it Jaypaw would never be back to his old self. It had been a few days since Hollypaw had gone out on that patrol with Lionpaw and their mentors and found Jaypaw unconscious and bleeding. She had done everything she could to help him but she still wished that she had kept running that day. Maybe if she had, she could have reached Jaypaw before whatever did that to him had.

Beside her was her other brother, Lionpaw, who looked just as worried as she did. Leafpool hadn't permitted them to go into her den and check on their brother and it was hard on both siblings.

After Lionpaw reported to Firestar about the incident, the leader had excused them from their duties. ThunderClan had more than enough apprentices at the moment so they could afford to and there was no way Lionpaw and Hollypaw would be able to focus on their training in this state of frantic worry.

But Hollypaw wished that she had at least something to keep her paws busy. She wouldn't even mind searching Mousefur for ticks and hearing the elder complain about how apprentices weren't like they used to be. Anything to distract her from what was going on in the medicine den.

"Relax Hollypaw," Lionpaw told her gently. Hollypaw realized that she had unsheathed her claws and was grinding them into the sandy ground. "You'll tear a claw."

"I don't even care right now," Hollypaw admitted in a barely audible whisper. "I just want Jaypaw to be okay, I don't care what happens to me."

Lionpaw didn't look surprised. He probably felt the same way. "Well, if you tore a claw, that'd just be more work for Leafpool and she's already working so hard."

Hollypaw sheathed her claws and looked down at her paw, feeling a bit guilty. Right now she felt useless and she hated it. She couldn't do anything to help her brother. If not for Lionpaw, she didn't know what she'd do.

Hollypaw put her paw down and looked at her golden brother. "When did you get so wise? I'm usually the calm one."

Lionpaw shrugged half-heartedly, not at all affected by Hollypaw's efforts to strike up a conversation. He let out a long sigh but didn't say anything.

"Lionpaw. Hollypaw."

Hollypaw looked up to see her mother and father standing before their eldest kits. Brambleclaw's amber eyes and Squirrelflight's green ones shone in the sunhigh light with concern.

"How are you two holding up?" Brambleclaw asked.

"Not well," Hollypaw admitted honestly. "I'm really worried about Jaypaw. I wish I could be doing something."

"Leafpool is doing her best," Squirrelflight told her.

"Has she let you visit him?" Lionpaw asked. Both warriors shook their heads.

"She told me that he's doing better," Squirrelflight said, hoping to offer some solace. "The bleeding stopped a while ago. I think she's just waiting for him to wake up."

Hollypaw relaxed a bit. That was good to hear.

Movement across camp caught her eye. Without waiting for her parents or brother, she shot across camp and skidded to a halt in front of the medicine den. Leafpool, who had been walked out, blinked and leaned back a bit in surprise.

"Is everything alright? How is he?" Lionpaw demanded, appearing behind Hollypaw.

"I was just going to get you," Leafpool said. "Jaypaw is starting to wake up."

Hollypaw's heart skipped a beat. If Leafpool had no been blocking the medicine den's entrance, she would be at Jaypaw's side in an instant but she forced herself to wait.

"He's still going to be very weak, too many visitors may overwhelm him but his family should be there for him in case he panics," Leafpool explained. She frowned and looked over the family. Each one of them had every right to be there but as she said, not all of them could.

"We'll wait outside," Brambleclaw said. Hollypaw looked up at her father in shock. She could tell it was hard for him from his pained expression. "Hollypaw and Lionpaw can go in."

"Are you sure?" Hollypaw asked. If it was her kit in there, she couldn't imagine...

Brambleclaw nodded.

"Give him our love," Squirrelflight told her sister.

"Of course," Leafpool said. She looked to the two apprentices and beckoned them into her den with her tail. "He's not awake yet and he's very weak. Try not to move too quickly or be too loud."

Hollypaw nodded and followed the medicine cat into the den alongside her brother.

She stifled a gasp when her eyes fell upon Jaypaw. Leafpool wasn't lying when she said Jaypaw was weak. He looked so vulnerable, so fragile, lying there in his nest. His wounds weren't exposed anymore, Hollypaw was thankful for that. Out in the forest, she had dressed some of his wounds. The sight of them had made her sick and seeing them on her brother made it even harder.

There were heavy dressings on his head, back, and flank but there was some form of dressing or herbs smeared in his fur everywhere on his body. Jaypaw had been seriously injured. Badly by the looks of it. Worse than Hollypaw had initially thought.

"How… how bad is it?" Lionpaw asked.

"I'm not completely sure," Leafpool told him. "Some of his bones fractured, not broken. It will be hard for them to heal. He has a deep wound on his back and a nasty cut on his belly and flank. His worst injury is on his head and I can't tell the extent of it until he wakes up."

Lionpaw nodded but Hollypaw's gaze did not falter from its hold on her younger brother. Jaypaw's leg twitched and she allowed herself to hope for a moment.

"He's stirring," Hollypaw whispered.

Leafpool moved towards him and nosed him as gently as possible. "Hey, Jaypaw. It's time to wake up."

Jaypaw's blind blue eyes opened groggily. He immediately let out a groan.

"Jaypaw…" Hollypaw murmured.

Jaypaw's eyes suddenly snapped open. Panic suddenly radiated from him, his fur standing up in sheer terror. He jerked hard and let out a soft yowl of pain.

"Lionpaw, hold him," Leafpool ordered. "Hollypaw, thyme."

Hollypaw tore her gaze from her brother who was now struggling against Lionpaw and in pain. She turned and looked through the herb stores. Her mind was scrambled as she tried to remember medicine cat training. _I should have paid more attention._

Her eyes fell on a green herb and she snapped it up in her jaws and brought it over.

"Let's not use it yet," Leafpool said. "See if you can calm him down."

"Jaypaw, Jaypaw," Lionpaw said as he moved his paws to Jaypaw's shoulders. The grey tom was still trying to move. Some of his dressings were teared and blood began to seep, staining his fur.

"Jaypaw, what's wrong?" Hollypaw asked. She got an answer she didn't expect.

"I- I can't see… And everything hurts," Jaypaw choked out and tried to lay back in his nest but his body was still tense and he was shivering with shock and stress. "Why can't I see?"

Lionpaw, Hollypaw, and Leafpool exchanged a concerned glance.

"Um, Jaypaw?" Lionpaw was the first to speak. "You're… y'know, blind."

"What?"

"You've been blind since we were born," Hollypaw reminded. "Come on, Jaypaw, this isn't funny. How are you feeling?"

"Who's Jaypaw?" Jaypaw asked. Hollypaw felt her heart drop to her stomach. "And who are you?"

That did it. Shock hit her body like a monster roaring down a thunderpath and a steady numbness flooded her body.

"Jaypaw…"

"Who is that?" Jaypaw repeated, looking perplex. He put his head down and began breathing labored breaths that seemed to hitched in his chest. "I'm so confused and everything hurts so much…"

"I'll get some poppy seeds," Leafpool said.

"No!" Jaypaw tried to get up again but his legs wouldn't let him, giving out the moment he tried putting weight on them. He gave another yowl of pain.

"Jaypaw, calm down," Hollypaw begged.

"Let Leafpool take care of you," Lionpaw said.

"Who's Leafpool?" Jaypaw asked.

"I'm your moth- mentor. I'm your mentor," Leafpool told him before adding, "I'm your mother's sister."

"Whispering Breeze?" Jaypaw questioned.

"What?" Leafpool tilted her head, confused. "Jaypaw, let me give you some poppy seeds. You need to rest."

"I know what poppy seeds do, I'm no mouse brain," Jaypaw growled. "I'm not going to let some strange cats drug me."

Hollypaw tried to pull herself together but her mind still whirled. Jaypaw didn't remember them. At all. He was refusing to trust his own kin.

"Jaypaw, we're not strange cats," Lionpaw told him gently. "It's me, Lionpaw. Your brother."

"And Hollypaw. Your sister."

Jaypaw put his head back down and relaxed a bit but he still looked bewildered. "I don't have a brother," he said. "And my sister's name is not Hollypaw. It's Dove's Wing. Where is she? What have you done with her?"

"W-what?" Hollypaw and Lionpaw exchanged a glance. Hollypaw took a step forward. "Jaypaw, it's me. Hollypaw. I'm your sister."

"Get away from me," Jaypaw hissed. He lashed out with one paw and raked his claws over Hollypaw's foreleg in a lightning fast motion. The action made Jaypaw cry out in pain again and Hollypaw stumble back, her shock increased. She could hardly feel the pain, it wasn't a very well aimed or powerful blow but it left its mark. She could hardly feel anything other than that she was overwhelmed.

"Hollypaw!" Leafpool moved between the Jaypaw and his siblings protectively. "Jaypaw, please, calm down. We're your kin. Just let me help you."

Jaypaw still looked doubtful and untrusting but he flinched in pain and relaxed a bit. "Alright."

Leafpool blinked in relief and put the poppy seeds in his open mouth. Jaypaw held them in his mouth for a moment, deciding whether or not to swallow them. Eventually he gave into the pain and they went down in a single gulp.

Jaypaw put his head down one final time, still eyeing his kin with blind suspicion. It didn't take long for his eyelids to droop or his breaths to grow drowsy. Within a few heartbeats, he was asleep.

Hollypaw released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Lionpaw looked at her with worry while Leafpool moved to check over Jaypaw's sleeping form. Hollypaw sat back on the medicine den's floor and leaned forward to steady herself. So much had just happened.

"Is- is… What's wrong with him?" Hollypaw asked. _He didn't remember me…_

"Let me get something for that scratch," Leafpool said, avoiding the question. Hollypaw looked down at her foreleg. A steady trickle of blood was running down her black fur. She had almost forgotten about it even though it had only been moments ago when Jaypaw clawed her.

She lifted her leg to let Leafpool spit chewed up herbs on the cut and dress it. Leafpool looked so focused. It was as if she wanted to forget the cat lying behind her.

"Why… why doesn't he know who we are?" Lionpaw asked once Leafpool had put the herbs away. His voice revealed the pain he felt. _At least Jaypaw remembered he had a sister. He completely denied having a brother. That must be so hard on Lionpaw._

Leafpool frowned. "I don't know. I didn't think his head injury was that bad… He may have some injuries that we can't see."

"You mean he might have lost his memory?" Hollypaw questioned. _Please don't say he has brain damage._

"Maybe," Leafpool said. "But we don't know what happened to him either. He could be more emotionally damaged than physically. I've heard of cats' minds being warped after experiencing something traumatic."

"Jaypaw…" Lionpaw buried his face into an unbloodied patch of grey fur on his brother's shoulder. Hollypaw pressed herself against his flank comfortingly. _Oh Jaypaw._


	4. Wrong Time

"Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw," Leafpool said, stepping out of the medicine den. Judging by how her sister and the deputy looked at her, she knew just how worried they were. Their eyes locked on her, begging to know the condition of their son.

Squirrelflight moved closer to her, one paw lifted off the ground tentatively. "How is he?"

"He… Jaypaw…" Leafpool trailed off. She didn't know how to tell them. She didn't know how she could tell them.

"Is there something wrong?" Brambleclaw asked. A desperate concern bled into his voice. The same desperate concern in his mew radiated from the look in his eyes. He seemed to be emanating the feeling, filling the atmosphere with it.

"Y-yes," Leafpool stuttered. She did not go on.

"Oh Jaypaw!" Squirrelflight tried to rush into the medicine den but Brambleclaw half-heartedly put a paw in front of her. He looked at her with comforting eyes.

"Let's hear what your sister has to say first," Brambleclaw suggested softly. Squirrelflight nodded. She looked at her paws but Leafpool could still see water in her green eyes. She had once seen a twoleg that was overcome with emotion make rain from its face. If cats could do that- the kittypet she was with had called it crying- she was sure that Squirrelflight would be.

"Jaypaw… He…" Leafpool trailed off again. She couldn't find the words and even if she could, she didn't think she'd be able to tell her apprentice's parents what had happened to their son. She knew she had to though. That was her job as medicine cat and Cinderpelt had prepared her well for the job. "He is very weak from his injuries but the worst of it has passed. He should recover but I don't know if he'll be completely back to the way he used to ever."

Some of the tension in the air eased. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight relaxed a bit but still looked incredibly upset.

"There's more," Leafpool spoke softly, so quiet that the warriors almost didn't hear her. They stiffened again. Leafpool closed her eyes for a moment. When they reopened, she looked to the sky. Above the ThunderClan camp, fluffy white clouds drifted through the sky. The sky wasn't as deep of a blue as it could be but it still provided some solace. _Please StarClan. Give me strength._

When she lowered her head to look back at the two cats before her, their gazes bore into her, not forceful but demanding. They had to know what happened to their kit.

"Jaypaw doesn't remember anything," Leafpool said. She could practically see the shock from her words strike her clanmates. Squirrelflight began breathing rapidly while Brambleclaw stopped breathing all together. Leafpool let out a long sigh, releasing all the stress built up in her though she knew there was more to come.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Squirrelflight asked, the first to speak. "What do you mean he doesn't remember anything? Does he not remember what happened to him?"

"Well, yes, but it's more than that," Leafpool told her. She took a deep breath in preparation. "I mean he doesn't remember anything. When he woke, he panicked because he can't see. He forgot he's blind."

"Oh great StarClan," Brambleclaw whispered. He stood completely still. His amber eyes lost what little light they had left. He looked like part of him just died inside. Squirrelflight didn't say anything but her reaction was just as strong. She just sort of fell over onto the sandy ThunderClan camp ground. She fell back on her haunches and crouched forward on her forelegs, her breathing fast.

"He was in pain. I tried giving him poppy seeds but he didn't trust us," Leafpool told them. Hearing the words come from her own mouth made reality all more real. _Oh Jaypaw. I wish I hadn't said those things… Then maybe you wouldn't have run off and this never would have happened._ She knew that was wishful thinking. She knew she shouldn't blame herself but she couldn't help it. She felt responsible, more responsible than any other cat at least.

"And?" Brambleclaw prompted. He swallowed. It was clear how difficult it was for him to hear this but he had to know.

"He said he didn't have a brother when Lionpaw told him who he was," Leafpool said. "And he clawed Hollypaw when she got too close."

"Is she alright?"

Leafpool nodded. "It wasn't a direct blow and Jaypaw was too weak to do any serious damage. But still…"

"To attack his own sister…" Squirrelflight whispered.

"Jaypaw loves Lionpaw and Hollypaw so much," Brambleclaw said quietly. "They're the only cats he's really close too. I could never imagine attacking my own sister and we live in rival clans… How badly hurt is he?"

"I'm not completely sure," Leafpool admitted. "I can't see inside his mind. When he's strong enough to be left alone, I can make a journey to the Moonpool and see if Spottedleaf knows anything that I don't but in the meantime he just needs to be cared for."

"How is he now?" Squirrelflight asked.

"Sleeping," Leafpool told her. "He took the poppy seeds."

"Can… can we see him?" Brambleclaw asked.

Leafpool nodded. "Of course. He shouldn't wake up for awhile."

* * *

Jaypaw followed Dove's Wing, Fish Leap, and Half Moon through a familiar forest. He was definitely on ThunderClan territory. The smells, the way the wind blew, the sound of bird cries through the trees, it was all just like he was at home on a quiet, peaceful day. _But I've never met these cats before._

They certainly acted like they knew him. The white she-cat, Half Moon, walked at his side. Jaypaw was sure they were close except, of course, he didn't know who she was. Dove's Wing, the grey she-cat who had called him her brother, let the two have their space but was clearly just as worried as Half Moon, regularly slowing down from her position towards the front of the group to check on the apprentice.

Fish Leap, the brown tabby tom, seemed far less concerned than the other softpaws but was most expressive of his happiness to see him. Jaypaw guessed they were friends. A cat named Fallen Leaves had been mentioned. Jaypaw assumed he was missing, that's why these cats had been so worried. They didn't want to lose another friend.

Jaypaw was practically asleep on his paws, he was exhausted, but he refrained from showing it. He was wary of these cats even though they seemed friendly. He doubted they would turn on him but he wasn't going to take any chances. He was no fighter. He wouldn't be able to defend himself from the three of them.

"Not much further, Jay's Wing," Fish Leap called back from the front of the group. "In no time at all we'll have you asleep in a nest with Rising Moon checking those pads of yours. They can't be doing so good after all that time in the tunnels."

Jaypaw blinked. He realized his pads were pretty sore.

"Remember, the sharpclaws will probably insist that we have the ceremony before Jay's Wing gets a chance to sleep," Dove's Wing pointed out. "You know how they are."

"I'm sure Jay's Wing wants to become a sharpclaw immediately," Half Moon said. She looked at the grey tom. "Right?"

"Y-yeah." Jaypaw nodded rigorously. _Sharpclaws?_ He didn't know what they were talking about but he was sure disagreeing with them would start something.

"Fish Leap! You're back!" a voice said from up ahead. Jaypaw looked up and saw a silver tabby she-cat and a black tom bounded up to the foursome from the forest ahead. The silver she-cat looked over the group. "Hey, you and Dove's Wing got Half Moon to- by the stars. Is that Jay's Wing?"

"Um. Hi," Jaypaw said. Apparently these cats knew him too. Or Jay's Wing. Whoever that was. _Why do they all think I'm him?_

"We've got to get you back to the tribe," the tom said. His tail waved excitedly behind him. He turned and bounded into the trees, nearly crashing into one immediately. "Come on!"

"Right," Jaypaw said and sped up to follow him. _Tribe? Did he say tribe? Did the Tribe of Rushing Water come down from the mountains?_

"Slow down, Lapping Wave," Half Moon called. "Jay's Wing's exhausted."

"Oh. Right. Sorry," Lapping Wave responded. "I remember how tired I was after completing my trial. And you were down there for three times as long. You must be dead on your paws!"

"I am," Jaypaw admitted. He really was. He hadn't initially noticed his exhaustion but how it felt like he was carrying a badger on is back or he was swimming in the lake with the water tugging down on his pelt. All he wanted to do was lay down and sink into the realm of sleep.

"Three days?" the silver she-cat murmured. "That can't be right. You shouldn't be alive."

"Why not?" Fish Leap asked. "I know softpaws are only supposed to be down there for a day and all but cats can go a while without food and water, can't they?"

"It's not that," the silver she-cat said. "There's a reason cats don't come out after more than a day. When the trial begins the river-"

"Shush, Whispering Breeze," Lapping Wave said. "They're still softpaws, they can't hear about what happens down there."

"Right," Whispering Breeze said. "I know, I'm just so glad to see Jay's Wing alive that I forgot. Your mother would have been so proud of you, Jay's Wing. Actually, I'm sure she is. We should go visit the Starpool when you're up to it."

"I… I'd like that," Jaypaw answered despite not really knowing what she was talking about. _Starpool? Does she mean Moonpool? Does that mean she's a medicine cat? I can go there apparently. Does that mean I'm still a medicine cat?_ He shook his head, clearing those thoughts. Why wouldn't he be a medicine cat? _These cats keep saying I'm a sharpclaw. What in the name of StarClan does that even mean?_

"Come on, we're close!" Lapping Wave said, rushing forward again. He narrowly avoided slamming into a tree again. He skipped on his paws clumsily when he swerved to avoid it.

"What did I just tell you, Lapping Wave?" Half Moon questioned.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Jaypaw said. "The faster we go, the faster I can get into a nest."

"Alright!" Lapping Wave exclaimed joyfully, a playful gleam in his eyes. "Last one there is a mouse!"

"I swear Lapping Wave, you're such a kit!"

* * *

When Jay's Wing blinked his eyes open, he was once again greeted by darkness, a pounding head, and agony spreading through his body. The pain radiated most strongly from his head but his back, flank, and belly burned anytime he tried to move and a sharp pain shot up through his legs when he tried to get up.

Eventually, he gave up and flopped back down in his nest, the pain too unbearable to do anything. He allowed himself to let out a long groan.

"Jaypaw! You're awake!" a voice said. Jay's Wing jumped in surprise and gave another sound of pain. He hadn't realized someone was there.

"It's me, Hollypaw," the voice said. "Your sister. Remember?"

"You're not my sister," Jay's Wing stated. He suddenly sensed a feeling of hurt but ignored it. "Dove's Wing is my sister and your not her."

"Come on, Jaypaw," another voice said. Deeper, a tom by the sound of it. Jay's Wing's blind eyes looked around wildly. How many cats were in the den? He really couldn't tell. "Try to remember us. Hollypaw and Lionpaw. Your brother and sister."

"Stop calling me that," Jay's Wing responded. "That's not my name and I'm not your brother so stop trying to convince me I am."

He felt another wave of hurt fill the den.

"Please Jaypaw," Hollypaw begged. "Just try."

Jay's Wing sighed. Deciding to humor them, he closed his eyes and tried to think of what he knew about these two cats. Immediately, he felt a sharp flash of pain spread through him originating from deep within his mind. His jaws parted in a yowl but no sound came. Panic once again took ahold of him. _I can't hear anything!_

He tried yowling louder as the pain increased. In a moment, he felt paws on his shoulders, trying to pin him down. He began struggling against his unseen attacker. He unsheathed his claws and tried lashing out but being unable to see, he only ended up shredding the moss he was laying on. His thrashing sent it flying around the den.

Jay's Wing felt a panic around him that was clearly not his own. _What is this feeling?_ This was the third time he'd had this vibe since waking. The first two times he'd ignored it, thinking he was imagining it, but this time he knew something was off.

He sensed worry and soon felt paws on his face. He clamped his jaws shut, not wanting whoever this was to open his mouth.

Slowly, sound bled back into his hearing. He heard voices but they were still unclear. _Why can't I hear? Am I going to be blind and deaf? What are these cats doing to me?_

Jay's Wing felt something being forced into his mouth. In a moment, he recognized it as poppy seeds. _They're trying to drug me again!_ He wouldn't let them. He tried to open his mouth to spit them out but he felt paws wrap around his maw and over his nose. _I can't breathe!_

The panic that had seized Jay's Wing's body once again increased. _These cats were trying to kill him!_ Jay's Wing continued to struggle but the cat holding him down was too strong and each thrash of his body only sent more waves of pain through his weakened body.

That didn't stop him from resisting. He knew these cats were no good. He knew it! He shouldn't have taken those poppy seeds earlier. They probably weren't even poppy seeds. The things in his mouth probably weren't even poppy seeds! They could be poison for all he knew.

His body naturally began to try to swallow but he wouldn't let it. Jay's Wing forced the poppy seeds under his tongue so he couldn't swallow them. He felt like vomiting but he wouldn't give in. He had just passed his trial, he was a sharpclaw now and sharpclaws didn't submit to any cat.

But, no matter how strong he was, his body was weak and needy. He needed oxygen. His returning hearing began to sound fuzzy as he became lightheaded from the lack of air.

"How is he still awake?" he heard Hollypaw ask.

"I don't know," another cat responded. Jay's Wing recognized the voice as Leafpool's. He heard worry in her mew and sensed the same feeling coming from her. Jay's Wing was suddenly filled with a rage that fueled his thrashing, fueling his resistance. _These cats lied to my face! They pretended that they wanted to take care of me and now they're trying to kill me!_

Unfortunately for Jay's Wing, it seemed they were going to be successful. His struggling began to weaken and pain consumed his body.

Knowing he had to do something, Jay's Wing fake swallowed in hopes Leafpool would remove her paws from his mouth and nose once the seeds were down. He really hoped this was what this was all about because if not, he'd be crowfood very soon.

Jaypaw purposefully slowed his struggling further and let his blind eyes roll back. He went limp against Lionpaw's grip and lay in his nest, seemingly unconscious.

"I think he swallowed them," Lionpaw said.

"Or he passed out because you were stopping him from breathing!" Hollypaw said indignantly. Leafpool pulled her paws away from Jay's Wing. He took in a big breath of air, careful to make it seem like an involuntary action. He couldn't have them knowing he was still awake. "Why'd you do that? You could have suffocated him!"

"Cinderpelt taught me that was the only way to get a panicking cat to take herbs," Leafpool told her. Her voice was laced with worry. "I've done it many times, it always works. I've never seen a cat resist that long."

"That blow to the head really messed him up…" Lionpaw murmured.

"I'm afraid it may be worse than we thought," Leafpool told him. "What caused him to do that?"

"I- we- we asked him to try to remember us," Hollypaw said softly. "He did and then this happened."

Jay's Wing sensed a flash of sympathy in the den. Leafpool sighed. "We can't force him to do anything."

"Says the cat who just forced him to take poppy seeds."

"Look, I'm not happy about that either," Leafpool said before continuing. "We medicine cats don't know a lot about mental injuries, I myself have never met a cat who suffered from any, but I'm assuming any strain can be harmful to him. Just… just try and be gentle and supportive with him or I won't let you visit."

Hollypaw sighed. Jay's Wing felt tranquility spread over the present cats. Except him of course. He was still as tense as the most tightly woven tendril barrier. "I understand."

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

"By the stars is that Jay's Wing?"

"Jay's Wing! You're back!"

"You're alive!"

"How in the name of the cats in the stars did you survive down there that long?"

"Give him some space!" Whispering Breeze hissed at the crowding cats. "Don't overwhelm him."

"I thought you of all cats would be most happy to see him, Whispering Breeze," a thick furred black tom said. "Other than the softpaws of course."

"Of course I am but that doesn't mean I'm going to smother him!" Whispering Breeze responded. She looked back at Jaypaw. "Come on, Jay's Wing. We've got to tell Furled Bracken you're back."

Jaypaw nodded, unable to find words. He looked around what appeared to be a camp. It was a large clearing at the far side of ThunderClan territory except he was sure that he'd never known a clearing to be here. He didn't dwell on it. He was more surprised by all the cats around him and the fact he never met any of them before.

There had to be at least a dozen cats around him, all with different mews, pelt colors, and sizes. They all seemed as excited as Lapping Wave and Whispering Breeze at the sight of him.

The camp wasn't particularly large and Jaypaw didn't see any nests which made him question if this was really the camp. He saw no elders or kits. Not even any apprentice age cats other than himself, his supposed sister, Half Moon, and Fish Leap. Everyone around him was a full grown cat, some older than others but all still relatively young and strong. It didn't look like a clan camp.

Jaypaw looked out into the forest. The trees were much denser than he was used to. Then again, he'd never seen the forest so it could just be his perception of the place.

Whispering Breeze waved her tail to beckon Jaypaw. Jaypaw glanced back at the softpaws before following her.

To his surprise, Whispering Breeze led him out of the clearing and into the forest. Jaypaw inhaled. The forest smelled different too. There was more of an earthy scent in the air. More of a pine scent too though he couldn't see any pine trees.

Jaypaw spotted a fallen tree up ahead. Whispering Breeze walked right up to it and leaped over it and suddenly disappeared behind it. _What? Where'd she go?_

Jaypaw scampered a bit faster and jumped up on the tree to peer down. The ground dropped down right behind the tree. Jaypaw relaxed a bit. Seeing a cat just disappear like that had startled him.

Jaypaw dropped down after her and was once again surprised. The space under the ledge opened up into a cave. _This is definitely ThunderClan territory but this isn't right. There's no way this exists._

Seeing the young tom stop, Whispering Breeze looked over her shoulder in confusion. "Weren't you just talking about how much you want to get into a nest?"

"R-right," Jaypaw said and sped up to follow her. _Does that mean all those cats' nests are down here?_

The cave was unlike any he'd ever seen. That wasn't saying much, he'd really only been in one cave and that one had been made of pure stone. This one seemed to be a mix of brown earth and grey rock. The earthy smell was even stronger down here but now it was mixed with the cold, damp smell of rock.

The went back pretty far, Jaypaw couldn't see the back of it. The walls on either side of him were filled with deep indents. He presumed that was where the nests were. He heard excited squeals echoing. _So this must be the camp if they keep the kits here._

"Furled Bracken!" Whispering Breeze called as they neared the farmost end of the cave. "It's Jay's Wing! He's back!"

There was another indent in the back wall. It was a bit more spacious than the others but not by much. Jaypaw heard pawsteps as a cat walked forward.

"Did you find his bo- body…? Jay's Wing?" Furled Bracken's amber eyes seemed to glow in the shadows like a body-less entity as the light from the entrance trickled into the cave and reflected off them. A dark ginger cat slipped out of the shadows, eyes wide with shock. "Jay's Wing!"

"Um, yep. Me, Jay's Wing," Jaypaw lied. He didn't know why he was still going along with this.

"It is you!" Furled Bracken darted forward and pressed his head against Jaypaw's shoulder. "We were all certain you were dead."

"Why?" Jaypaw asked.

Furled Bracken pulled away to look at him. His eyes bore into Jaypaw. The young tom shifted his paws in discomfort and looked away. Did he say something wrong?

"You were down there for three days," Furled Bracken stated, suddenly serious. He glanced at Whispering Breeze then back at Jaypaw. "Both Whispering Breeze and I were down there late. We know of the horrors that happen after just one night. No cat has ever made it out after one… what you must have gone through…"

Jaypaw swallowed. He felt a memory stirring in the back of his mind but it wouldn't surface. "I can't remember anything," he admitted. Furled Bracken blinked at him in shock.

"You don't remember what happened in the trial?" Furled Bracken questioned. Jaypaw nodded. Furled Bracken let out a long sigh. Whispering Breeze pressed her forehead into Jaypaw's shoulder fur. Jaypaw stiffened under the touch but then relaxed. It was comforting.

"You poor thing," she whispered. "I can't imagine what more than the flooding the ancestors could send into those tunnels during the trial… what power they must have to make you forget."

"Or how terrifying the horrors must be do make this happen to him," Furled Bracken pointed out.

"I'm sorry but I honestly don't know what you're talking about," Jaypaw said.

"Of course," Furled Bracken said, dipping his head. "Is there anything else you can't remember?"

Jaypaw began to nod but stopped himself. He wasn't fast enough to prevent his seniors to see the action. He shuffled his paws and looked down. "Can we not talk about it?"

"If that's what you want." Furled Bracken nodded. "Besides, it is time for your sharpclaw ceremony. Whispering Breeze, gather the tribe. It is time Jay's Wing becomes truly one of us."


	5. Escape

Jay's Wing waited until he was sure Lionpaw and Hollypaw were gone to open his murky blue eyes. With each nervous breath he took, pain clawed at his body from each of his wounds. He was tempted to swallow the poppy seeds that he had pretended to swallow before and currently had hidden under his tongue but he knew he could hold out against the pain for a bit longer.

Still, it was difficult. It was only out of sheer willpower that he hadn't already taken the seeds and escaped into the painless bliss of sleep. His belly burned like he had jumped into a blazing pyre, his flank and back felt like a heavy monster had fallen on him, and the pain in his head was far more than a throb, he couldn't even find a comparison. All he knew was it was pain in its purest form.

And, of course, there was his emotional pain. Hollypaw, Lionpaw, and Leafpool had initially seemed to friendly. Jay's Wing had liked them, he hoped their kindness was genuine. But they had revealed themselves to be enemies. He may be their prisoner in this den but he wouldn't be for long. He would get back to his tribe.

Jay's Wing could hear Leafpool's tail brush against the ground as she moved about the den. Unable to see, he was unsure what she was doing but he had heard someone mention something about her being a medicine cat. He didn't know what that was but if it was anything like it sounded, she was probably doing something with herbs right now.

Jay's Wing held back a grunt as he pushed himself to his paws. Immediately, a jolt of pain shot up his back from his legs. His eyes widened and he clamped his mouth shut to keep himself from crying out. He felt some dressings tear off of his fur but he didn't concern himself with it.

Jay's Wing pricked his ears, listening for a possible entrance so he didn't run into a wall. He heard voices outside and began dragging himself towards them.

"Jaypaw!" Leafpool's surprised voice made his heart sink. _Mouse dung!_ He had hoped he would have been able to at least get his broken body outside the medicine den before she heard him but he hadn't realized how damaged his hind legs were. Ignoring his body begging him to stop, Jay's Wing scrambled across the den clumsily and made a break for the exit.

Immediately, he was greeted by the sun on his grey fur and dry dirt beneath his pads. He ran in the direction he heard the wind blowing in. Or rather dragged. Try as he might, he couldn't straighten his back legs for the life of him let alone walk on them.

The young sharpclaw made it about a fox length before he heard that name again. "Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing didn't recognize the voice. He didn't stop in his beeline for the exit until he felt himself run into someone.

"Hey, watch- Jaypaw? Hey, you're out and about already?" the cat he ran into said. It sounded like an older tom but he didn't recognize this voice either. For what felt like the fiftieth time since he woke up here, Jay's Wing felt nervousness rise but at least it wasn't a full blown panic attack again. _How many cats are there here? And where am I anyway?_

"No, he's not." Leafpool's voice rang through the camp, making Jay's Wing's stomach drop. He tried to scrabble away again but he felt jaws grab on his scruff, dragging him back towards the den. _No!_

"You can't leave yet, Jaypaw," Leafpool told him. "You shouldn't be moving let alone trying to walk. Look, you've torn your dressings."

Jay's Wing hissed. The action almost made the poppy seeds fly out of his mouth. "Put me down. I'm not a kit who needs his mother to carry him."

"If you're going to behave like a kit, I'm going to carry you like one," Leafpool said through a mouthful of fur. "You're hurting yourself Jaypaw. Just let me help you."

"Will he be alright, Leafpool?" the voice that had called out to him asked.

"Don't worry about it, Honeypaw," Leafpool responded. Jay's Wing stopped resisting, the pain becoming too great. _She didn't answer her question._ Jay's Wing felt worry consume him. He wasn't sure if it was his own or another cats' again. _What is this sense?_

* * *

"All cats of this tribe gather around!" Furled Bracken's mew rang through the cave. He stood in front of his den. Jaypaw sat in front of him, facing him, with the rest of the cats behind him. He couldn't believe how many there were. It was enough cats to be a whole clan.

"As I'm sure you all know, Jay's Wing has returned to us," Furled Bracken said. Murmurs filled the tunnel-like cave until Furled Bracken waved his tail for silence. "And as I'm sure you also all know, Jay's Wing has been missing for two additional days. Many of you have questioned if he truly entered the trial but I remind you we all saw him enter. Some of you are unsure if he can even be called a sharpclaw since he didn't complete the trial in the given time but the fact he passed at all shows his strength."

"Those of you who made it out of your own trials late know the…- they can only be described as horrors- that come out in the trial so terrible that cats cannot survive more than a single night. May we remember Fallen Leaves, our most recent loss to the Rite of Passage."

"May we remember Fallen Leaves," the assembled cats murmured.

"I can only assume the terror increases with each night and it could be a sin to deny a cat his rank after surviving such a thing," Furled Bracken went on. "Jay's Wing is an intelligent cat, clever and strong, and born from a pair of two of our best sharpclaws who are no longer with us. It is in his blood to be a great member of our tribe and he has certainly proven himself capable."

Furled Bracken took a step forward and looked into Jaypaw's eyes. Jaypaw looked right back at him. He had a feeling something was going to happen.

"As of this day, your den and nest will no longer be among the softpaws for you will sleep with your new peers. You will no longer share prey unless you wish until the day you die. You can now take a mate and raise kits who will strive to become sharpclaws themselves one day. If a threat ever comes to this tribe, you will fight for your tribemates and your home. You can now leave without telling a superior and you are now permitted to journey to the Starpool if you wish to communicate with your ancestors," Furled Bracken stated. "Jay's Wing, as of this day you are a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

* * *

"What were you thinking?" Leafpool hissed as she got Jay's Wing back into the nest. Jay's Wing could feel her angry restraint that prevented her from throwing him down but however gentle she was, laying back down was still difficult and painful.

"You can't keep me here," Jay's Wing stated and glared at the she-cat with defiance. "I am a sharpclaw, I'm bound by nothing except my chosen loyalty to my tribe."

Jay's Wing felt the atmosphere change from anger to concern. Leafpool's voice lost its sharpness. "Jaypaw, what are you meowing about?"

"I told you, it's Jay's Wing," the tom responded. _Why is it so hard for them to understand that I'm not whichever cat they think I am?_ "I've never heard of a cat named Jaypaw."

Once again, Jay's Wing felt a wave feelings emanating from Leafpool. This time, he recognized it as a feeling he knew well. Sadness and loss. It brought him confusion which made his head spin. He tried to push away the sense but it took awhile to repress it. _What it this power I have? Why can I feel these things?_

What was more confusing was why Leafpool felt this way. Jay's Wing didn't understand, not at all. She believed he was this cat called Jaypaw and seemed to care about him but tried to kill him and also is constantly upset by his rejection of her and the two young cats claiming to be his siblings. It made no sense.

Leafpool turned away to retrieve something from her herb stores. Jay's Wing lay his head down on his paws and tried to relax his lean body. The tension acquired from trying to move his healing form evaporated. He felt much better now. Still, he felt like he'd been dragged backwards through a fox's mouth from up through the stomach but he felt better than he had a few moments ago. _I'm still not strong enough to leave._

Even if he had made it out, there was no way he'd be able to survive very long or make it far enough so that these cats couldn't bring him back.

He did learn something else important from his escape attempt. There were many more cats that the three he had met previously. He felt his hope begin to dwindle. He didn't even know how many cats there were thanks to his accursed blind eyes but he knew there were many and that they were in alliance with Leafpool and Jaypaw's siblings. There was no way he'd be able to escape them, even if he was healthy.

Jay's Wing heard Leafpool walk up to him. He heard her push a leaf across the den floor. He rose his head and ran his whiskers over it. More poppy seeds. He turned away and put his head back down. _Do they really think I'm that stupid?_

"Please Jaypa- Jay's Wing. You're in pain and your body needs rest," Leafpool begged. "Just take the poppy seeds."

Jay's Wing didn't move. He still had the poppy seeds from before in his mouth. He had to admit he was a bit disgusted by having something in his mouth that long. Incredibly disgusted actually. But there was truth in Leafpool's words. He was in pain and trying to move made it worse.

Jay's Wing lifted his head, not looking at Leafpool, and spat the old, slimy seeds out.

"What? You didn't take them? How?"

Jay's Wing continued to ignore her and snatched up the small black specks in his teeth, downing them in a single gulp. After a few moments, he felt himself getting drowsy and lay his head back down. He felt Leafpool relax considerably as he drifted off into the realm of sleep.

* * *

Jaypaw tried breathing around the musty scent of old, dry moss in his mouth as he carried it across the cave and into one of the dens carved out in the walls. Fish Leap padded close behind him, carrying moss of his own in his jaws.

Half Moon and Dove's Wing were in the den already along with a decent number of clumps of moss that they had already brought over. The two she-cat were trying to scrap it together into a nest.

"I don't understand why the old sharpclaws are so insistent that you sleep in your new den," Half Moon huffed as she flapped her paw around, trying to get moss out of her claws. "You're barely awake on your paws, Jay's Wing."

Fish Leap nodded as he set down his moss. "Yeah. There's nothing wrong with your old nest. And now we've gotta move it all the way over here."

"It's fine," Jaypaw sighed. "And thanks. I probably would've just fallen asleep on the ground if you guys hadn't insisted on helping me out."

"That's what friends are for."

"I think your nest has enough moss," Dove's Wing said. She shuffled it around a bit. "If you can sleep on the ground, I'm sure you can sleep on this."

"Thanks." Jaypaw let out a long breath as he sank into his nest.

"We'll leave you to it," Fish Leap said and turned to leave the small den with a flick of his tail.

"Sleep well, brother," Dove's Wing added, following the brown tom out of the den. "You deserve it."

Jaypaw waved his tail goodbye and put his head down to rest. He shifted, getting comfortable, and closed his eyes. He felt something brush against his cheek.

"Goodnight, my love."

Jaypaw's eyes snapped open in time to see the white she-cat pad out of the den. She didn't turn, leaving Jaypaw to stare after her into empty space, his brain failing to process what just happened. _Did she just… her… love… What?_

His exhaustion evaporated in an instant. There was no way he could sleep after that, no matter how exhausted he was. His body was bone tired but he felt like he'd just been stuck by a bolt of lightning that sliced through the tiredness, temporarily pushing it aside.

 _She loves me._

He never thought he'd hear those words. Not just because he was a medicine cat and sworn by the code to never love. Even when being a warrior was within his reach, he never in his wildest dreams imagined a she-cat would ever say those words to him.

Jaypaw knew the other apprentices back in ThunderClan thought he was cool and confident with his sharp-tongue and skill. But he never held himself in the same regard. In fact, he held himself in an even lower one than probably even Berrypaw or Breezepaw did.

He had zero social skills. He had a hard time being around others. He didn't enjoy being around other cats much but that didn't mean he always wanted to be alone. He always pushed cats away though. His only real friends were Lionpaw and Hollypaw and they only stuck with him because he was their brother.

If no cat even really liked him, how could one be his friend let alone love him? Maybe that was why he spent so much time by the lake, with his stick. It was foolish and embarrassing but it was at least an escape from the loneliness he'd experienced all his life.

He had no friends yet here was a she-cat saying she loved him. She was beautiful, stunning, kind, caring, smart, and just about every word Jaypaw could think of that could describe someone amazing could be used to describe her.

Yet he barely knew her. It was clear she thought he was someone else but Jaypaw found he didn't really care. He just wanted to hear those words, those words he never thought he'd here.

Even if he wasn't a medicine cat, he didn't have a very likeable personality. No cat would ever approach him in that way and he was far too shy and reserved to confess his feelings to a cat he loved if he ever found one. He knew from the day he knew what love is that he'd never be loved. Not like that. Not the way he longed for.

Yet, this amazing cat had just said she loves him.

Jaypaw's mind went back to Furled Bracken's speech.

" _As of this day, your den and nest will no longer be among the softpaws for you will sleep with your new peers. You will no longer share prey unless you wish until the day you die. You can now take a mate and raise kits who will strive to become sharpclaws themselves one day. If a threat ever comes to this tribe, you will fight for your tribemates and your home. You can now leave without telling a superior and you are now permitted to journey to the Starpool if you wish to communicate with your ancestors. Jay's Wing, as of this day you are a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."_

If that didn't sound like being a warrior, he didn't know what did. The whole not sharing prey concept and the Starpool thing didn't make a lot of sense to him, it was very different from what the Warrior's Code and Medicine Cat's Code had taught him, but the rest of it sounded like everything he'd dreamed of since kithood and more.

Jaypaw rolled onto his flank and turned his head upward, staring at the ceiling. Brown earth sat above his head. Focusing, he could see the dirt particles. _I can see them. I can see._ That was the only thing that had ever stopped him. Now that his blindness was no longer an obstacle, Jaypaw knew he could have the life he always wanted.

Of course, this wasn't ThunderClan. Furled Bracken was no Firestar, the missing Falcon Swoop and Falling Rain could not replace the loving presence of Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight, and Dove's Wing and Fish Leap were nothing compared to Hollypaw and Lionpaw.

But this… realm. It had something that had no parallel in ThunderClan. Half Moon. Jaypaw hadn't known her long but thinking of the way she looked at him with those deep green eyes made his pelt heat up and want to yowl his heart out so each and every star in the night sky could hear everything he had in him. There was no one like her in ThunderClan and Jaypaw was starting to think she was what was making this place special.

Jaypaw shifted again in his nest. He could feel how old the moss was. It was dry and prickly against his fir but he didn't care. He turned so he was looking at the exit of the den where the softpaws had walked out.

 _I don't know who they are or where I am but I'm starting to think these cats might be able to make this place feel like home._


	6. Something's Off

Jaypaw gave a growl of anger as his paw hit a surfaced tree root, snapping it and scaring off the little white mouse he was stalking. He straightened from his hunter's crouch into a normal, stiff standing position with his tail waving wildly behind him in frustration.

"Did you miss another one?" Half Moon asked, suddenly appearing from the undergrowth with a mouse of her own in her jaws, dangling from her teeth by its tail.

Jaypaw felt his pelt flush in embarrassment. _Great StarClan did she just see me miss such an easy catch?_ He looked away and shuffled his paws in embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it," Half Moon comforted, padding up to him. Her flank's fur brushed his as she came to a stop at his side. Jaypaw stared at her for a moment, captivated by the way the sun hit her white pelt and reflected off her green eyes in the small clearing he'd been hunting in. He quickly shook his head, extirpating those thoughts. "You're still not completely back to full strength after your trial. I can catch something for you if you'd like."

"No!" Jaypaw said with a bit more force than he intended. Half Moon took a step away from him. Jaypaw immediately felt guilty. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that. It's just… in his speech, Furled Bracken talked about how sharpclaws catch their own prey. It really hit me, y'know?"

"Jay's Wing, you've been catching your own prey for moons," Half Moon pointed out.

 _Right._ Jaypaw had been with these mysterious tunnel cats for a few days now and they were becoming so familiar that every once in awhile he slipped up, forgetting they didn't know who he really was. In this case, he knew that Half Moon didn't know of his struggles within himself that he'd had since kithood. "I know but…"

"I get it," Half Moon told him. She leaned forward and swiped her tongue over his cheek affectionately. Jaypaw felt his heart flutter. "In a way, I guess. Becoming a sharpclaw is such a big part of our lives… Not being able to hunt must make you feel like you're moving backwards, not forwards. Like you're a kit again and not a sharpclaw."

"Yes! Exactly," Jaypaw said, nodding. _Well, not exactly._ It was close enough. Now being sighted, he had hoped he would finally be able to hunt properly but he was even worse than he was when he was blind. He had caught prey a number of times back in ThunderClan but none while with the Tribe of Still Water. It made him feel like… like… _It feels like things haven't changed as much as I'd hoped._

"Cheer up," Half Moon encouraged, butting her head against his shoulder playfully with a joyful gleam in her eyes. "You'll be back to your old self in no time."

"I know but…" Jaypaw trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"How about we take you to Rising Moon when we get back to the cave?"

"..." _Which one is Rising Moon?_ The name sounded familiar but Jaypaw couldn't think of a face that matched the name.

"My mother taught me everything I know about healing herbs," Half Moon went on. Jaypaw relaxed as he remembered Rising Moon. She was Half Moon's mother and about to have her second litter. She had given him dock leaves to rub on his raw paws. "And she's a sharpclaw so you can tell her anything that you can't tell me that happened to you in the trial."

"Yeah, it'd be nice to talk about that," Jaypaw said before he knew what he was saying. He blinked, surprised with himself. _Why did I say that?_ He felt a memory threatening to surface in the back of his mind. He tried to recall it but something in him pushed it back down into the farthest depts of his mind and out of reach.

The tip of Jaypaw's tail curled in annoyance. That had been happening a lot. Anytime he thought back to the tunnels, he would feel a vague memory come to him but then lose it. Of course he remembered searching for his stick but-

 _My stick!_ Jaypaw felt a panic rise up in his chest. How could he have forgotten his beloved stick? How could he forget the only friend he had for moons and moons? How could he forget his only solace from his days as a blind medicine cat apprentice?

Deep down, he knew how he forgot about his friend. He had new ones.

His stick was his escape from the life he hated but this new life, it was a bliss. Jaypaw was suddenly aware of how bad he used to feel. He'd always felt a low energy, barely pushing him along and unhappy with the cats around him. He hadn't felt that feeling in days. It was like a river had suddenly carved a path in a dry, empty gorge, the water washing away the old, dull stones, bringing in new ones and encouraged the plants to grow.

Before he emerged from those tunnels, Jaypaw couldn't remember the last time he had been happy. And in this very moment, with Half Moon at his side, surrounded by the trees and forest sounds, with the warm sun on his pelt, Jaypaw truly felt happy.

Half Moon tilted her head and looked into Jaypaw's clear blue eyes. "Jay's Wing? Are you alright?"

"I'm… I'm fantastic," Jaypaw replied with a smile. "Come on, let's head back home."

"But you don't have any fresh-kill."

"Don't worry," Jaypaw said. "I can catch something later. You said it yourself, I am a sharpclaw. I can hunt for myself. I am Jay's Wing after all."

* * *

A low rumble echoed through the medicine den. Jay's Wing shifted in his nest and glanced down at his belly with his blind eyes. He'd been here for days and these cats wouldn't even let him out to hunt! Did they expect him to starve? Injured as he was, there were much faster ways to kill him.

"Was that you Jaypaw?" Leafpool asked from across the den. Jay's Wing ignored her. He heard Leafpool let out a long sigh. "Was that you Jay's Wing?"

 _Nice try._ Using his proper name wasn't going to get him to admit his weakness to his captors. Did they really think he was that foolish?

"I know you're hungry, Jayp- Jay's Wi- Jay," Leafpool said, padding over to sit by his nest. Jaypaw didn't move to look at her. _Just let me be._ "Lionpaw and Hollypaw have returned to their duties and have been working extra hard to catch prey for you, you're parents too. You've got to eat. If not for you, for them, your family. They're worried about you."

"They're not my family," Jay's Wing growled so low, it was barely audible.

"Jay…"

"I don't know you cats!" Jay's Wing finally snapped. "Why can't you just let me leave?"

"Jay, you're injured. Even if you weren't my clanmate, even of you were a rogue or a cat from another clan, as a medicine cat I couldn't let you leave," Leafpool told him gently. "It's my job to make sure you get better."

Jay's Wing scoffed. "And you do that by forcing me to take herbs and starving me? By trying to kill me?"

Jay's Wing sensed surprise and genuine shock radiate from the she-cat beside him. He blinked. _Did I judge them wrong?_ Unlikely but part of him was still clinging to the hope that these cats weren't his enemies.

"What? Is that really what you think I'm trying to do? I could never to that, Jaypa- Jay," Leafpool responded, sounding hurt. If he could see, Jay's Wing was sure her eyes would be as round and wet as the latter of what he could only assume was her namesake. "I'm trying to heal you and your clan is trying their best to feed you."

Jay's Wing didn't say anything. As his belly yowled all through each and every night, his wounds throbbing and his head splitting, he nearly gave in time and time again into the pain and hunger but he still didn't trust these cats. His prey could be drugged or even crowfood for all he knew and poppy seeds made him too drowsy to properly defend himself if they attacked. Still, Leafpool had a point. He was stuck here until his wounds healed.

Leafpool sighed again. "Tell you what, Jay. Hollypaw is out on patrol but I think Lionpaw is doing Mousefur's ticks. How about I ask him to take you out to get something to eat?"

Jay's Wing's ears perked at Leafpool's words but still didn't lift his head. Was he finally going to be able to leave? And hunt? _I'm starving… I need to eat and soon…_

Jay's Wing waited until he heard Leafpool pad out to retrieve his supposed brother to look up. He flexed his shoulders to release some of the tension but instead suddenly became aware of his body's weakness. _I feel… different. I've only been here for a few days… there's no way laying around for this little time has caused my body to change this much. Muscle doesn't degrade this fast..._

He decided not to concern himself with that, especially not now with him going out soon an all. With a grunt, he began heaving himself onto his paws. He pushed into the ground with his forelegs, the stone floor feeling strange against his pads. Surprisingly, it wasn't as painful as the first time he tried it.

That changed the moment his upper body was drawn to full height and he tried standing on his back legs. He gave a sharp yowl of pain and bit his cheek to keep himself from crying out further as he eased more weight onto his hind legs. Slowly, he began to draw himself up more.

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing nearly fell over when Lionpaw burst into the den.

"Lionpaw, give him some space."

"Right. Sorry."

Jay's Wing didn't respond as he grit his teeth, trying to level his back but another jolt of pain shot up his spine. He gave a small gasp and his knees buckled, sending him into a sitting position. He flinched as he hit the stone floor.

Lionpaw was at his side again in an instant. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Jay's Wing said through clenched teeth. _I am not fine. That hurt like… like…_ Jay's Wing's mind came to a blank. There was some expression he was failing to think of. He shook himself. Not the time to try and recall memories. He was idle for most of the day, he had plenty of time to do that later. Right now, he had to get off his tail to keep himself from starving. And fast, before these cats changed their minds.

Jay's Wing tried to lift his rear up again and managed to after several agonizingly slow heartbeats but try as he might, he couldn't draw himself up to full height.

"Don't push yourself Jaypa- Jay," Leafpool advised. "You're back legs are pretty injured and the wounds on your back and stomach will prevent you from maintaining proper posture."

 _That must be why all my muscles hurt so much too._ He recalled Rising Moon telling him something like that once.

"Come on, Jaypaw," Lionpaw said, slowly coming to his side. Jay's Wing flinched as the tips of their shoulder fur touched. Lionpaw slowly started walking, guiding Jay's Wing. "We're not going far."

* * *

"Rising Moon?" Half Moon popped her head into a den not far from Jaypaw's own den. Jaypaw glanced around, he hadn't been in here before but it looked much like his own den except her nest was larger to accommodate for her larger flank swollen with kits.

"Half Moon, Jay's Wing," Rising Moon greeted with a nod, looking up from where she was resting. "What brings you here?"

"Jay's Wing's been kinda… off."

"How?"

"He hasn't… uh, been able to hunt really since he got back," Half Moon explained. Jaypaw felt his pelt flush in embarrassment again. This wasn't something he really liked broadcasting to the group.

Rising Moon slowly got to her paws.

"Oh, you don't need to get up," Jaypaw said quickly. He knew this wasn't something a medicine cat could fix, he didn't want to be a bother.

"Nonsense," Rising Moon told him, looking over him. "You seem fine. Have you had proper hydration and sustenance since you got back?"

Jaypaw nodded. The tribe, of course, had no fresh-kill pile since every cat hunted for themself but his tribemates had been more than generous, understanding that he was weak from spending so much time in the tunnels.

That was odd, really. Jaypaw himself hadn't spent all that time in the tunnels but it felt like he had and it really took a toll on his body. And he could remember… something about the tunnels- something important- but he wasn't really sure what. Like he really had been down there all that time but a fog came in and covered the memory.

Rising Moon began to look him over more thoroughly. Jaypaw, being a medicine cat himself, knew she wouldn't find anything which is why her frown shocked him. She looked up at her daughter. "Half Moon, can you leave us?"

"What, why?" Half Moon questioned, alarmed. "Is there something wrong?"

"No, no." Rising Moon waved her grey tail in assurance. "I just need to ask about what happened in the trial and, as you know, you're not allowed to hear about that."

"I understand," Half Moon said with a dip of her head. She faintly touched Jaypaw's shoulder before padding away. "I'm going to go out hunting again. If you want to come find me, I'll be out by that big oak."

"Alright," Jaypaw responded despite not knowing where she was talking about. They lived in a forest, there were probably more oaks than hairs on his pelt. "See you later."

When the young tom looked back to the pregnant she-cat, he was surprised by the sudden serious manner on her face.

"Have you spoken to any other sharpclaws about their trials?" Rising Moon asked.

"Um, yes." Over the past few days, several of his fellow sharpclaws had congratulated him. Those conversations usually involved some kind of discussion about the Rite of Passage. From what Jaypaw gathered, softpaws would usually go underground and enter a massive maze that stretched beneath the territory. They began in the morning and had until the next morning to navigate the maze and resurface. When the sun began to set, the tunnels would begin to flood. If a cat got lost and strayed too far from the exit, they wouldn't be able to make it out in time.

That was what made Jaypaw's trial astonishing. He should have died down there but here he was, alive and breathing. A number of sharpclaws believed he hadn't really gone down there but even more were excited by the idea of a multi-day trial, asking him what happened on the second and third days. If the ancestors sent floods on the first, surely they sent something worse on the following days.

There were a few cats, Jaypaw noticed they were the quieter ones, had mentioned something about seeing more than just floods down there that they, like Furled Bracken, could only describe as horrors.

Jaypaw didn't really know what they were talking about but hearing them always stirred some memory in the back of his mind. Maybe he had seen them. He didn't remember going through the trial but hearing all the stories was starting to scare him into thinking he really had and something warped his memory. Maybe he really was Jay's Wing and whatever it was down in the tunnels made him believe otherwise.

Jaypaw shook his head, clearing those thoughts. He couldn't think like that. He was Jaypaw, he knew that. He was the sharp-tongued, stubborn, unlovable to any cat except his kin, antisocial ThunderClan medicine cat apprentice who dreamed of being a warrior. He wasn't this Jay's Wing that everyone kept calling him.

"Jay's Wing?"

Jaypaw shook his head again. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Yeah, I asked if you noticed anything strange about your trial compared to the stories you heard."

Jaypaw nodded slowly, once again searching his mind for those memories he wasn't sure existed. "Yeah- wait. You mean other than the fact I was down there for two days longer?"

Rising Moon nodded. "I can only assume that a different kind of trial took place on those days."

Jaypaw once again nodded slowly. He parted his jaws to speak but no words came out.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Rising Moon told him softly. Jaypaw nodded, relief washing over him like a water over riverbed stones. "It would just help me know if there was something… deeper wrong with you."

"What do you mean?" Jaypaw frowned.

"Well… You know Furled Bracken was down there for a bit longer than softpaws usually are during their trials? Whispering Breeze too?"

Jaypaw nodded. The two had told him that when he first returned.

"Many sharpclaws had, they never speak of it. Furled Bracken described them as horrors. I can only assume they get worse with each passing day," Rising Moon continued. "You don't have to tell me about them but do you think that they could have… damaged you in anyway that may have affected your ability to hunt?"

Jaypaw blinked at her, not really knowing how to immediately respond. He was torn. He had spent the past several days lying and pretending to be the cat Jay's Wing who everyone seemed to think he was but the cat he was speaking to now, she was a medicine cat. Not quite, of course, but the closest the tribe had. Being a medicine cat himself, he knew how important honesty was.

But at the same time, he couldn't really be honest if he wanted to. Even if he came clean about being Jaypaw, that didn't give anymore information about what happened to him underground.

And he did know what was stopping him from hunting anyway. He had no real training or experience. As much as he wished that this was a physical problem that could be solved with herbs, he knew he just had to learn how to hunt before he starved or embarrassed himself to death.

"I don't think so," Jaypaw responded before adding, "maybe. I'll just work at it, I promise."

"Okay," Rising Moon said before stepping back to settle back down in her nest. "Just let me know if you have any problems."

* * *

"Is that Jaypaw?"

"It is!"

"Hey, Jaypaw! Good to see you out and about again."

"Great StarClan, look at those wounds."

"What do you think happened to him?"

"I always thought it was a mistake letting a blind cat out of camp like this."

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing stopped in his pawsteps to crouch back defensively, overwhelmed by the number of cats. Before he knew what he was doing, he felt his lips peel back into a snarl and his ears flatten against his head. A faint hiss escaped his lips.

"Don't worry Jaypaw, they mean the best," Lionpaw comforted. "I could scare them off if you'd like."

"It's not that…"

"Hmm?"

"There are so many of them," Jay's Wing said, flattening his ears back against his head and glancing around.

"I remember the first time you left the nursery," Lionpaw commented wistfully with a low purr. "You said everything was so loud with so many cats around."

"It's not that… There are just… just… so many feelings."

"You've never had problems with your powers before. Just try to remember what you always do."

 _What? Powers?_ _What powers? I have powers?_ That would explain a lot. These feelings… these senses he always got, these vibes… He wasn't just imagining them.

Unfortunately, Lionpaw put his tail tip on Jay's Wing's shoulder and began leading him towards the other cats and the grey tom wasn't exactly comfortable asking questions within earshot of his supposed clanmates. He could faintly feel Lionpaw tense and hiss. Jay's Wing's own tail curled as a warm, comforted feeling spread through him. Lionpaw was protecting him.

He snapped his mind away from those thoughts. He knew he couldn't trust Lionpaw no matter how much his heart longed to trust the young apprentice.

"How far are we going?" Jay's Wing asked, taking note of the ache in his body increasing to spikes of pain shooting up his spine and legs. He didn't know how he was going to hunt like this, blind and injured. _At least I'm not crippled…_

"Just to the fresh-kill pile," Lionpaw responded.

 _The what?_ Jay's Wing inhaled through his nose. A delicious smell in the air made him belly rumble. He smelled prey, lots of it.

"Take your pick," Lionpaw instructed.

Jay's Wing looked at him in surprise. _I'm to eat another cat's kill? They just have all this food laying around?_ "You're not making me hunt?"

Jay's Wing sensed confusion in the air as Lionpaw frowned. "No…. You haven't hunted in moons, Jaypaw."

The scents caught Jay's Wing's attention again, making his belly growl again. He closed his eyes to appreciate the flavor in the air. He'd never smelled anything like it. Mouse, pigeon, sparrow, vole, blackbird, rabbit… All the scents were mingled together. He'd never caught more than one or two pieces of prey at a time. He and his fellow softpaws occasionally pooled their prey together during the last cold season but there was never this much. He wished he could see it because if it looked anything like it smelled…

"Jaypaw!"

Jay's Wing heard a voice call out his name and decided he'd been standing around long enough. He tried to focus his sense of smell to pinpoint a piece of prey among the pile. He grabbed a mouse in his teeth and stepped away from the pile. The mouse was quite scrawny but he wasn't about to loiter around here any longer than he had to or dig through the pile of food. "Let's head back."

"Really? You don't want to eat out here?" Lionpaw questioned. "You've been in the medicine den for days, I thought you'd want some fresh air or at least eat a couple pieces of prey. Leafpool told me you haven't been eating."

"There are too many cats," Jay's Wing told him, glancing around. He fur on his body began to rise and he pawed the ground nervously. _Why are there so many cats? How many cats are there anyway?_ If he'd been able to see, he might not be as anxious as he was but being surrounded by enemies like this…

"I understand," Lionpaw said and went to Jay's Wing's side, their flanks barely touching as Lionpaw led the blind tom towards the medicine den.

Jay's Wing did not mind their closeness nor was he very surprised when he found himself comforted by the warmth and strength of Lionpaw's flank against his own.


	7. Adjustment

"Now, what is this?" Leafpool asked. A skid was heard as she slid some kind of herb across the floor of the medicine cat den.

Jay's Wing lowered his nose to take a whiff of it. His muzzle crinkled at the bitter smell. "Borage?" he guessed. Leafpool sighed, disappointment evident in the sound, and tucked the herb back into the herb stores. She didn't even correct him. Jay's Wing felt his anger rise, his face hardening. "How do you expect me to learn anything if you don't correct me?"

"You're already supposed to know all of this," Leafpool said. There was no anger, no force, in her voice. Jay's Wing could feel despair radiating off her as strongly as he felt her gaze bore into his head where he still had dressings. He ducked his head. He didn't like it when she looked at him like that.

A few days ago, Leafpool had told him he could 'return to duties.' He didn't know what that meant but he hadn't think it was this. He didn't even know what 'this' was. Leafpool just showed him some weird plant and asked him what it was called and what it was used for. How was that at all useful? Jay's Wing had overheard these cats calling themselves warriors. The word implied they were fighters. Memorizing the names of a bunch of random plants seemed kind of pointless especially to a fighter.

Being blind didn't help much either. Jay's Wing could tell his senses of hearing and smell were sharper than before which was nice but he didn't really care about that. He just wanted to see, even if it was just to see these weird plants, the den he was staying in, and the pelt of the cat taking care of him.

After a few days of being taught about herbs, Jay's Wing realized that holding onto the belief that he was these cats prisoner was pretty silly. Learning medicine benefited no one except himself and, as boring as it was, it would be a pretty unusual punishment. These cats genuinely believed that he was whoever this Jaypaw was and were just treating him as they did him.

In the latest hours of the night when Jay's Wing lay in his nest listening to Leafpool's steady breathing and dreaming of running away, his mind would often drift. He often got those strange sensations he'd been getting since he arrived here but when his mind went silent and he was left in his own self-pity, Jay's Wing felt himself feeling more sorry for Jaypaw than himself. At first, it surprised him but as more time passed, it was pretty obvious why.

Jaypaw couldn't hunt for himself. He only ate other cats' prey.

His kin smothered him, hardly leaving him alone. They constantly pressed, trying to make him to let them in. Jay's Wing wasn't an incredibly reserved cat but it seemed Jaypaw was and no cat respected that.

Jaypaw was something called a medicine cat apprentice rather than a warrior. Rather than racing around the territory, hunting, or learning to fight, Jaypaw was stuck in this stuffy den listening to descriptions of the uses of these stinky plants. He must hate it. Especially if he knew he was being denied a much better life.

Thinking back to his old life with the Tribe of Still Water, Jay's Wing felt guilty for every time he thought his life was hard. For the star cats' sake, Jaypaw was blinder than a badger. Jay's Wing couldn't remember how many times he cursed himself for missing a catch or complaining about having to wake up early for training or got embarrassed when someone fussed over his injuries. Jay's Wing found himself longing for that all again. He couldn't find words to express his thoughts but he felt sorry. Sorry that Jaypaw had such a disadvantaged life and lost so many opportunities. Jaypaw probably longed to have everything that Jay's Wing ever complained about.

Sitting on his haunches on the smooth medicine den floor, Jay's Wing let his blind gaze glaze over as he imagined suddenly waking up in the tunnels, the spirit of Falcon Swoop standing over him, telling him that this was some kind of test or lesson or something sent by the cats in the night sky to remind him how fortunate he was. Jaypaw wasn't exactly suffering but his life was hard in a way that no one else could see save, perhaps, that elder Longtail but even he didn't fully understand what Jaypaw went through. What Jaypaw was going through.

Just for a moment, Jay's Wing let himself believe that this was just his ancestors trying to teach him that. That they used their power to pull him into a dream or something.

Jay's Wing was snapped out of this thoughts at the sound of pawsteps. Light, soft, precise. Leafpool's. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go visit Littlecloud," Leafpool said. There was a slowness, a hesitation, in her voice as if she'd just decided on that.

"Who?"

"The ShadowClan medicine cat."

"I thought you were the ShadowClan medicine cat."

Leafpool gave a long, sad sigh. Jay's Wing once again felt a wave of sorrow wash over her like a lazy stream over a pebble at the bottom of the riverbed. Leafpool paused her movements for a heartbeat. "I'm the _ThunderClan_ medicine cat."

"There's more than one clan?" This was news to him.

Leafpool nodded. Her emotions were suddenly less clear cut, Jay's Wing couldn't make much sense of them. This happened a lot. "Other than ThunderClan, there's WindClan, RiverClan, and ShadowClan. Out of all the clans' medicine cats, Littlecloud and Barkface have been medicine cats the longest. I wanted to… I want to ask them if they know anything that can help with your… condition."

"My blindness?"

"Your memory loss."

Jay's Wing's lip peeled back as he narrowed his eyes. His tail tip twitched indignantly but he clamped his jaw shut, not knowing what to say but knowing that anything he could have said wouldn't be good.

"I'll be back before long," Leafpool promised. She threw one last glance over her shoulder before padding through the opening leaving Jay's Wing alone in the shadows that filled the den.

* * *

Jaypaw woke to the sound of alarmed mews and tongues lapping his messy grey fur. His eyes snapped open at the sudden commotion and jumped to his paws, startled, sending some of the moss from his nest flying across his den.

"Jay's Wing!" Half Moon began nosing him over. "You're covered in scratches!"

"These are worse than just scratches," Dove's Wing pointed out. "They're claw marks."

"Uh…" Jaypaw didn't really know what to say. The she-cats just barged into his den unannounced. He had no time to think of an explanation for the cuts covering his body. _At least I had the sense to put dressings on them…_

"Let him be," Fish Leap said from the den's entrance. Unlike his companions, he just sort of drifted over, not being too forward. He looked pretty tired but Jaypaw had gotten to know Fish Leap well enough over the past few days to realize that was just kinda how he was. Careless, relaxed, unless something got him going. He was easy to be around.

"Fish Leap," Dove's Wing whined. "He's injured. How can you not be concerned?"

Fish Leap parted his jaws as if to speak but instead gave a long, loud yawn. He blinked a few times at the grey she-cat. "Because I don't care?"

Dove's Wing glared at him, lashing her tail threateningly. Fish Leap's eyes widened and he leaned back a bit. His paw scraped some dirt up from the ground as he slid it back.

"I mean, uh, I'm sure he's fine. They're just scratches."

"Claw marks."

"It's not like we've never had a tussle or two with some loners or rouges." Fish Leap shrugged. "Relax. You're not his mother. No need to fuss over him."

"Really, I'm fine," Jay's Wing insisted, jumping into the conversation. A slight nervousness rose in his chest as his mind scrambled for an explanation. "Like Fish Leap said, it was just some rogues. When I was, uh, out hunting. They tried stealing my kill."

"Did they?"

"Um. Yes."

Dove's Wing sighed and rolled her eyes. She looked exasperated but there was a playful glint in her eye. "You're a sharpclaw now, Jay's Wing. You've got to get yourself together. You're getting kind of pathetic, you know that?"

"Y-yeah," Jaypaw stammered. He could see the amusement in her eye, the humor etched on her face, but it still hurt. It stung. Right in his chest. _I'm trying. I really am. And it's not enough._

Fish Leap somehow seemed to pick up on Jaypaw's hurt. Maybe it was his eyes. Jaypaw wasn't good at reading cats. He, obviously, wasn't used to seeing cats' faces and that made it hard for him to control his own expressions. He didn't know how he was supposed to look let alone how to hide his feelings. It was easier when he was blind. His blindness seemed to hide it.

Jaypaw blinked, startled, as that thought passed through his mind. Sight was a blessing. So what if he wasn't used to it? He was a sharpclaw. A pretty bad one but still a sharpclaw. That was basically a warrior and that was all he wanted.

Fish Leap abandoned his place by the den's entrance and lost his lazy demeanor as he made his way over to his friend. "I overheard some cats saying some stuff about the tunnels. Apparently whatever's down there really messes you up. It's no wonder you're so off, Jay's Wing, after being down there for so long. Just get some rest and you'll be back to your old self in no time."

Jaypaw dipped his head, not really knowing what to say. Gratitude washed over him. As much as he liked Dove's Wing's sisterly concern and humor and as much as he loved being around Half Moon and feeling that light, fluttering feeling in his chest whenever she was around, they were hard to be around sometimes. He wasn't used to so much contact. Fish Leap kept an appropriate distance and Jaypaw appreciated that.

Fish Leap butted his head against Jaypaw's shoulder in a friendly manner but the motion quickly turned into a gentle shoving and Jaypaw found himself back in his nest in a heartbeat.

"I get that I need to rest but I literally just woke up," Jaypaw told him, trying to get back up but Fish Leap put a paw on his head. It in no way would stop him from getting up but it clearly implied that the brown tabby wanted him to stay down.

"Just stay here," Fish Leap told him. He gave to explanation but the look in his eyes was the only one Jaypaw needed and the former medicine cat apprentice settled down.

* * *

Jay's Wing pawed the moss in his nest, frustrated. Clumps of moss were shredded under his sheathed claws, that's how frustrated he was. Laying around was so boring. No longer plotting to escape, Jay's Wing had nothing to occupy himself. He was still hurt, he couldn't leave. Even if he could, he doubted he would try. It was hard enough to get around the den blind let alone through whatever was outside.

Jay's Wing's injuries were healing. It had probably been a half-moon since the incident. His flank and legs didn't burn every time he moved and his head still throbbed but it wasn't so bad. He still had trouble standing but Leafpool had done some exercises with him to regain the ability to do so.

 _Exercises._ That could be a good pastime. But Leafpool told him not to do them alone…

"Hello? Leafpool?"

Jay's Wing jumped at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. The motion sent pain shooting up his neck from his back. He swallowed a yowl, not wanting to show weakness to this stranger.

"Oh, Jaypaw," the stranger greeted. "Is Leafpool around?"

"Um. No."

If he could see, he was sure that the stranger would be frowning. From the sound of the voice, it was a she-cat. Her voice was soft and light. Jay's Wing wasn't that good at recognizing pawsteps but her steps sounded heavier than Leafpool or Hollypaw's. She didn't walk with their strength, skill, confidence, or precision. This cat was no warrior.

"That's too bad. I thought she was still out and I didn't want to bother you… being injured and all but Toadkit... How are you doing, Jaypaw?"

"I'm fine," Jay's Wing answered. He didn't know if that was a lie or not. He didn't really know how he felt. "Fine enough to help you, if I can. What do you need?"

"It's Toadkit," the stranger said. Jay's Wing suddenly became aware of another cat in the den. A kit. _How did I not hear him? Kits are so loud._ "He got a thorn in his paw."

Jay's Wing beckoned the kit over with his tail, not wanting to get up in case he fell over. That would be embarrassing. He focused his hearing on the floor, listening to tiny, uneven steps towards him. If he had more experience, he would have been able to tell Toadkit was holding up his forepaw as he hobbled over.

Jay's Wing lowered his head to meet the kit's outstretched paw once he was near enough. He ran his whiskers over it, not knowing how else to figure out what was wrong. Toadkit made a noise, the whiskers tickling the sensitive underside of his foot but the thorn hurting too much to laugh. "Have you tried licking it out?"

Toadkit shook his head. "No but Daisy tried when she realized Leafpool wasn't around. I don't know why we didn't come here earlier. You've gotten them out fine before, Jaypaw, and it really hurts."

So he'd done this before. Or rather Jaypaw had. That meant they were expecting him to be able to do this and something deep down inside him really didn't want to let them down. Jay's Wing opened his mouth and began lapping at the kit's paw. He'd done this before, it was easier to get a thorn out of someone else's paw than your own. He'd done it before with Dove's Wing. Now shouldn't be so different.

Only it was because he was freaking blind. But Jaypaw was supposedly able to do it and Jay's Wing wasn't about to be outmatched from some cat he didn't know.

As Jay's Wing worked at the thorn, sight seeped into his eyes. Or so he thought at first. He quickly realized it was more of an image, like he was watching an event, and it wasn't through his eyes. He felt a strange sensation in his mind as the image became clearer.

 _"Daisy!" a small kit with dark creamy fur wailed, bounding across the clearing towards the nursery. On the far side of camp, Longtail and Mousefur lazed, basking in the sun. Other cats stood in the distance around the camp paying no mind to the kits in the clearing._

 _"What is it, dear?" a white she-cat asked as she padded out of the sheltered den towards the kit. She lacked the physique that the rest of the cats in the clearing shared. Her pelt was clean and she had an unwild glow to her. Like a kittypet yet not quite._

 _"It's Toadkit!" the creamy furred kit said glancing towards…_ Jay's Wing realized he was seeing out from the eyes of another cat. Toadkit presumably. _"He got a thorn in his paw."_

 _"Daisy!" Toadkit cried, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he gave his high-pitched yowl._ As his eyes closed, Jay's Wing feared the vision had ended and his blindness had returned but Toadkit reopened them in a moment. _"It hurts."_

 _"I'm coming, dear," Daisy called from across the clearing. Toadkit didn't move as he watched her bound towards him. She ran light yet heavy at the same time. Not without precision but she ran with beauty rather than speed. She really was a quite beautiful cat. Like a mother. Any cat would say his mother was beautiful, she was very motherly. She had kind eyes._

 _Pain radiated in Toadkit's paw._ Jay's Wing knew this wasn't real pain. He, after all, had been struck with a stone and nearly died. Those days he had refused to take poppy seeds, that was real pain. But to a tiny kit who had no experience with pain nor the ability to handle it, the thorn truly hurt.

 _When Daisy reached her son, she sat beside him and whisked her tail around him protectively though that would do nothing. It was probably an instinctive habit more than anything but Toadkit calmed a bit at his mother's presence._

 _"Let me see," Daisy instructed, moving away to give him room. Toadkit held up his foreleg and twisted his paw around so the pad was facing the sky. The base of the thorn protrude from the pad. It was clear the long, sharp end was embedded deep in there._

Toadkit shifted impatiently, snapping Jay's Wing out of the vision. With the image of the kit's paw in mind, he hooked the base of the thorn in his teeth and tugged back at an angle. Toadkit gave a small whimper but the thorn slid out cleanly. Jay's Wing spat the thorn out to the side and began lapping at the kit's pad soothingly.

Toadkit purred softly. "Thanks Jaypaw. It feels much better."

"Does he need any herbs?" Daisy asked worriedly. The concern for her kit was clear in her voice. Jay's Wing recalled hearing his own mother using the same tone a number of times. A pang of loss echoed in his chest but he tried to ignore it. Falcon Swoop had died a long time ago. He had no reason to grieve.

Jay's Wing hesitated at the question. He didn't know herbs very well despite having lessons for the past few days. "I don't think so. Just keep him off it and make sure the wound stays clean."

"Alright. Thank you Jaypaw," Daisy said, dipping her head in thanks. She beckoned Toadkit with her fluffy white tail. "Come on dear. I'm sure Rosekit is worried about you and I'm sure Foxkit and Icekit will want to hear about how brave you were."

"Oh yeah!" Toadkit exclaimed, bounding after her. He paused and waved to Jay's Wing before resuming his excited chattering.

Alone once more, Jay's Wing let out a long sigh and slumped over in his nest. He was inexplicably tired. Kits were tiring and so much movement while he was injured didn't help. He also felt a bit lightheaded for some reason. Maybe it had something to do with that weird vision. He didn't question it.

Seeing that Leafpool wasn't going to be back anytime soon, Jay's Wing yawned and settled down in his nest for a nap.

* * *

It was late into the night when Jaypaw crept out of the tunnel-like cave that the Tribe of Still Water called home. He suppressed a shiver when his pelt hit the cool air of the forest. He didn't pause to let his eyes adjust to the pitch black darkness. He was used to the dark and even at night, he felt that he could see so much better than he used to.

Under the canopy of the trees, the light of no stars rained down nor did the moon's rays. Jaypaw could vaguely make the outlines of tree trunks which was more than enough to prevent him from running into them.

Jaypaw's injuries throbbed a bit as he slunk through the forest but he ignored it. He knew they weren't bad. Living the sheltered life he had, he just wasn't used to hurting like this but he wasn't about to let it stop him. He had somewhere he needed to be.

As Jaypaw passed what would be the ShadowClan border, the distinct scent of oak morphed into the sharp smell of pine. Leaves and branches no longer making a solid roof over his head, some light trickled down but he didn't need it. He had walked this way many times.

Jaypaw paused as he put his paws down on the smooth ground of a twoleg path. It was different from thunderpath. It didn't instill him with fear or disgust but it still made him stop. It was a reminder of what he was going to do, what he'd been doing. _What I'm going to do again._ Jaypaw glanced at his pelt, unable to see his injuries in the darkness but he knew they were there. He remembered his friends' concern. _Should I really be doing this?_

Losing courage, Jaypaw took a step back and turned around back towards ThunderClan territory but he froze once more. The sturdy oaks, the shadows they cast, they made him freeze. They reminded him… _I have to do this. I'm going to be a sharpclaw._

And with that final thought, he ran across the path and into the pine forest.


	8. Let's Not Talk About That

Jaypaw ignored the nervous prickling of in his pelt as he weaved around pine trees, making his way deeper into not-ShadowClan territory. He focused on the feeling on pine needles stabbing his pads to keep his thoughts away from what he was about to do. He'd already nearly backed out once. He wasn't about to let himself do it again.

 _Stop being such a scaredy-mouse,_ Jaypaw mentally scolded himself. _You're a wild born cat. A sharpclaw. This is nothing. You're strong. Stronger than them anyway._

"Ooh, wild cat's back," a voice taunted. Jaypaw looked up and saw the fence that marked his destination. He'd made it there. Now he just had to make it through here. "Come to get another tail-kicking?"

"Tough words for a kittypet," Jaypaw shot back and slid his claws out as he looked defiantly up at the large cat sitting up on the fence. The kittypet glared down from his perch, yellow eyes glowing in the night. They were proud and hostile but behind them reflected the same fear that Jaypaw saw in himself. In the moonlight, claw marks could be seen on the kittypet's dark brown pelt. The wounds were closed but still fresh. Neither of them wanted to do this. They both suffered from it. But they had to. _Part of me even wants to..._

With a yowl, the kittypet threw himself down at the grey tom, paws stretched out towards him. Jaypaw reared back onto his haunches and boxed his paws in the air as the kittypet slammed into him.

Jaypaw gasped as the wind was knocked out of him and he was thrown flat on his back. The kittypet took a moment to rebalance then rose a forepaw and raked his claws down Jaypaw's cheek. Jaypaw yowled in pain as blood flew from his face, splattering on grey and brown pelts alike.

Back still flat against the ground, Jaypaw shifted his weight to his shoulders and kicked up with his back legs, bucking the heavy tom off his belly. There wasn't nearly enough force to said the kittypet flying but he was unbalanced enough for Jaypaw to rise up and shove him away.

In a heartbeat, the two stood tail lengths apart, circling each other. Blue eyes met yellow, both pairs burning and angry. Where their hatred came from neither knew. Maybe it was from the eternal rivalry between wild cat and house cat. Maybe it was that their souls clashed. Maybe they had met in a past life. Maybe it was just that they were both crazy. There was no explanation right now. Only battle.

Jaypaw was the first to break the circle. With a battlecry, he launched himself forward, body slamming the kittypet. The brown tom hissed as he was thrown back. His paws grappled at Jaypaw's back, hooking his claws on his shoulder fur. Jaypaw clamped his jaws down on the kittypet's chest fur as his adversary was pushed into an awkward sitting position balanced on his tailbone. The kittypet ignored the discomfort from holding himself like this and poured all his energy into the fight.

The two were locked on either other. Pelt grasped in jaws, claws embedded into shoulders, hind paws scraping belly, foreleg wrapped around back to dig claws into spine, ear in teeth. There was nothing clean about this fight. The two were just shredding the living fox dung out of each other.

Jaypaw was breathing hard, labored breaths as he pushed his weight into his opponent. He was smaller and lighter but he was still currently on top of him. It didn't give him much advantage, the kittypet was still strong enough to push back against him. This wasn't going anywhere.

The kittypet's hind paws battered his belly, Jaypaw's ear was bleeding in his mouth, the kittypet's claws were gripping his shoulders with no sign of letting go. With a scream fueled with determination, Jaypaw tore himself away from the death grip. The sound of ripping fur filled two sets of ears but neither paid any mind.

Jaypaw tried to get away but the kittypet lunged at him again, hissing. Jaypaw leaped backwards- that was no easy feat- to dodge. Before the kittypet could recompose himself, Jaypaw swiped forward with his forepaw and smacked the kittypet right between the eyes, stunning him, before once again throwing himself at him.

"You piece of-" the kittypet snarled before Jaypaw barreled into him. Jaypaw didn't try to pin him this time. He just let the kittypet go rolling and slam into a tree. The kittypet hissed in pain as he pushed himself back to all four paws. He was bleeding from his forehead and chest. Jaypaw smiled with satisfaction at the taste of blood in his mouth. He spat it out on the ground. His mouth was filled with thick saliva brought by the thrill of battle.

Jaypaw kneaded the ground in excitement, claws tearing up roots and scuffing up the earth, as he prepared to throw himself at his enemy again. Unfortunately he didn't get the chance. A bright light flooded the clearing the two cats were hashing out and angry twoleg shouts filled their ears. _Twoleg?!_

Fear struck Jaypaw and he didn't give the kittypet a second glance before he turned tail, ears pressed back, and fled into the safety of the forest.

* * *

"We're back," Leafpool announced upon entering the den. Jay's Wing rose his head lazily from his nest and pricked his ears. Two sets of pawsteps. He inhaled through his nose, trying to identify who the second cat was.

"Hi Hollypaw," Jay's Wing greeted and pushed himself into a sitting position. He stretched his neck to one side. He was stiff from laying around so much.

"Hi Jaypaw." Hollypaw's voice was muffled by a bundle of herbs in her mouth. Jay's Wing could smell it but he couldn't tell which herbs she held. "How are you doing? Bored from sitting around all day?"

"I'm fine. I took a nap," Jay's Wing responded. He turned his blind gaze to Leafpool. "Some cat called Daisy came in earlier looking for you. Toadkit had a thorn in his paw."

"I hope the poor thing's okay," Leafpool murmured as she took a few steps to the exit. "I've been gone for awhile… I hope it doesn't hurt too bad."

"Toadkit _had_ a thorn in his paw," Jay's Wing repeated. "I got it out." Jay's Wing shifted uncomfortably as he felt Hollypaw and Leafpool's surprised gazes sweep over him. He ducked his head, pelt flushing. "What?"

"N-nothing," Hollypaw stammered.

"I'm just surprised you were able to," Leafpool told him slowly. "After all, you've been struggling with your training."

"Medicine cat stuff isn't so hard," Jay's Wing said casually. "All that memorizing stuff is stupid and boring but actually doing stuff isn't hard."

"Are you starting to remember things?" Hollypaw questioned, tail waving behind her excitedly.

Jay's Wing gave her an odd look. "No. This stuff is easy. I don't need to know how to do it to do it. I'm a medicine cat."

"I don't think you really understand what that means…" Leafpool said slowly, sounding confused. "A medicine cat's skill comes from moons and moons of of training…"

"Oh. Well, I don't mean that part. The other part," Jay's Wing went on, glad to finally have the opportunity to talk about this. "Those weird feelings. They're pretty useful. They confused me at first but once I figured out it was just a medicine cat thing-"

"What are you talking about?" Leafpool asked, confusion evident in her voice. Jay's Wing titled his head, suddenly feeling her confusion. Shock and surprised radiated from Hollypaw. He didn't know why.

"I mean like those feelings," Jay's Wing explained, slowing down as he tried to find the words to express himself. Hesitance to speak crept into his mew. "Like when you feel stuff, I can feel it in my head. It's like waves lapping at the shore. It comes off you and then I feel it. Especially at night. It's weird. Today was different though. When I touched Toadkit, I saw-"

Jay's Wing was cut off as Hollypaw shoved him into his nest. She slapped her tail over his mouth then swiftly swooshed it over his head to play it off like she was checking his temperature. "You feel hot. Are you alright?"

Jay's Wing gave her a look of confusion. He could feel urgency in her gaze. _Was I not supposed to talk about that?_

Leafpool moved Hollypaw out of her way and put her tail over Jay's Wing's forehead. She frowned. "You feel fine."

"He's been pretty confused since he got hurt…" Hollypaw said. Jay's Wing could hear desperation in her voice.

"I'm fine…" Jay's Wing trailed off, confused. He could tell that Hollypaw knew what he was talking about. He didn't understand why she was hiding it. She didn't seem like the type of cat to blatantly lie. She must have a reason. He swallowed, mouth dry as he tried to think of what to say. "My head's been hurting. I could be mistaken…"

He could feel Leafpool's concern for him as she checked him over. He leaned away from her, suddenly aware something about his ability was wrong. He didn't want to touch her. Not after what happened with Toadkit. He'd thought it was a medicine cat thing, that it was normal. _It's not. There's something wrong with me._ He didn't want to do it again. That was an invasion of privacy.

Leafpool seemed to get the idea that he didn't want to be touched. She didn't seem offended or anything. "I was planning on heading over to WindClan territory later but I think I'll stay here a bit. Get some rest, Jaypa- Jay."

Jay's Wing nodded and settled back into his nest despite having just woken up. He wasn't tired but he didn't want to do anything wrong. He closed his eyes, distress washing over him all of a sudden. _What is this power? What is wrong with me?_

* * *

"Jaypaw!" Half Moon screeched as Jaypaw limped through the oak forest. Dawn light shone down from above onto his pelt, illuminating the shining blood. Jaypaw winced. He'd hoped he'd be able to make it to the lake to clean himself up a bit before he ran into any other cats but it seemed like that was not the case. At least it was only Half Moon.

"Hi… What's up?"

"What do you mean what's up? You're drenched in blood!"

"Yeah…. About that…"

"If you weren't so cut up right now, I'd claw your face off," Half Moon grumbled.

Jaypaw let a smug smirk slide onto his face. "Nah. You wouldn't want to mess up this handsome face."

Half Moon blinked. Jaypaw was surprised at himself. _Woah. Where did that come from?_

To his relief, Half Moon purred. "Well, you can't be that hurt if you are strong enough to go around saying nonsense like that."

"I'm saying it 'cuz it's the truth," Jaypaw said, getting the idea that Half Moon was enjoying his cocky banter. Besides, it distracted her from the fact he was practically bleeding out here.

Half Moon fell in step beside him as he continued his hobble in the direction of the lake. "What happened to you? And don't say you got caught in a bramble bush. Don't you dare say you got caught in a bramble bush."

"It was a thorn bush," Jaypaw said. Half Moon gave him a look that told him that the time for joking was over. "Okay, fine. I got in another fight."

"With a rouge?"

"Um. Yes. Same one," Jaypaw lied. He didn't like lying, especially not to Half Moon, but the truth was pretty embarrassing. No way was he telling her he got his tail handed to him by a kittypet.

He got more than a tail kicking. That kittypet was strong. That was why he kept coming back to the greenleaf twoleg place night after night. If he couldn't beat a silly kittypet, what kind of wild cat would he be let alone a sharpclaw?

Last night had been worse than the other nights though. Neither cat had training, their fights were more of a savage, animalistic brawl than a real battle. As a clancat, Jaypaw would have held himself above that kind of fight but he was a tribecat now. A weak one at that. Fighting that kittypet would make him stronger. Even if he got as injured as he had along the way.

Jaypaw ignored the pain shooting across his body as he and Half Moon reached the bank. Leaving a trail of bloody paw prints behind him, Jaypaw began wading into the water. He hissed softly as the cold water touched his open wounds. Blood washed out of his fur and dispersed into the water filling the lake with a large cloud of red.

Half Moon gasped. Jaypaw glanced over his shoulder to see her eyes wide with horror. "It's not as bad as it looks," Jaypaw insisted. "It just looks bad when it gets into the water."

Half Moon didn't look convinced. Jaypaw shut his maw and walked farther into the lake until he was fully submerged and the world around him was a haze surrounded by red fog.

* * *

"Jaypaw."

Jay's Wing responded to the sound of the name with only a split second lack of recognition. Cats were calling him that so much that he was starting to get used to it. He sniffed and caught the scent of Jaypaw's siblings. He nodded in greeting. "Hollypaw. Lionpaw."

"Geez, you're still napping?" Lionpaw had amusement in his mew. "You were asleep when I came by earlier."

"It's not like I have much else to do," Jay's Wing muttered. His tail twitched.

"We brought some fresh-kill," Hollypaw spoke up. Jay's Wing nodded. He could smell squirrel and thrush in the air. The black furred apprentice put the prey down and slid it over the floor to him. Jay's Wing sniffed it and felt feathers brush his nose. He flinched then sneezed, turning his head to stop himself from sneezing on his food. That would be rude. And gross.

As Jay's Wing began eating, he sensed a glow of happiness in the den. Unspoken words conveyed the duo's joy that he was eating again. Jay's Wing had long since realized that refusing to eat other cats' kill really only hurt himself.

"You came to talk to me?" Jay's Wing prompted already knowing the answer. Hollypaw's earlier reaction to Jay's Wing talking about his powers deeply startled him but he managed to sleep most of his concerns off. And he knew Lionpaw already knew about them too. That was what initially caused him to believe that these sensations were completely normal.

Hollypaw nodded but Lionpaw still seemed confused. He glanced back and forth between his sister and the cat that he believed to be his brother. "What? Did something happen?"

Hollypaw hesitated a moment. "Jaypaw… He mentioned his powers in front of Leafpool."

"He what?" Lionpaw was clearly alarmed. Eyes wide, he stared at Jay's Wing.

Jay's Wing shifted uncomfortably. "How was I supposed to know? You mentioned them before so I thought it was just a medicine cat thing. And it's Jay's Wing. Not Jaypaw."

"Jay's Wing," Lionpaw said slowly, experimenting with the word. "Jay's Wing. Jay's Wing. Any particular reason you're hook on that name?"

"It's my name," Jay's Wing stated. _Why is that so hard to understand?_

To him it was as clear as day. A cat's name, that was who they were. If someone walked up to him and asked who he was, he had a thousand answers but his name summed all that up into a single phrase. He could say he was a sharpclaw, a member of the Tribe of Still Water, a former softpaw, or that he was the brother of Dove's Wing. He could also say that he was a tom or that he had grey fur or that he was a few seasons old. He could say that he was a dreamer or that he was a fighter. He could say just about anything but that would take forever. But his name, his name was associated with all of those things. It was a word- two words technically- that just meant him.

These clancats, they just didn't seem to get it. They thought he was someone else. Some cat he didn't even know. It made him feel… feel… _Being called Jaypaw just feels wrong._

Hollypaw and Lionpaw didn't seem to accept his answer but they didn't continue on the matter. There were more important things to discuss.

"Your powers. We agreed not to talk about them."

Jay's Wing lashed his tail. "I didn't even know I had powers! I'm not Jaypaw. I don't know why I have his powers. And I know you guys think I have memory loss so you guys can't get mad at me for not knowing something."

"You're right. I'm sorry," Hollypaw murmured.

"Me too," Lionpaw said. "I should've realized you'd be having some problems with your powers."

"Don't worry about it," Jay's Wing sighed. "So what's the deal with this thing anyway? I assume that every cat can't do this?"

Lionpaw nodded. "You were the one who told us about it. It was actually your powers that helped you figure it out."

"Oh?"

"You have the power to walk in other cats' dreams," Hollypaw explained. "You-"

"Really?" Jay's Wing interrupted. He'd never tried that. Of course he didn't know how but he'd have to try it. He had some wild dreams. Seeing other cats' would be pretty neat.

"Yeah. You can do other stuff to but I think that's your main ability," Hollypaw went on. "You walked in Firestar's dreams and you learned about a prophecy."

"Who's Firestar? And what's a prophecy?"

"Firestar is our leader," Hollypaw explained. "And the prophecy… Are you asking what a prophecy is or the prophecy is?"

"Both."

"A prophecy is… they're like dreams or signs given to leaders and medicine cats by StarClan."

"And they usually tell them about the future or something," Lionpaw added. He frowned. "It's kind of hard to explain. You're the medicine cat here, not us."

"Not a medicine cat," Jay's Wing reminded but didn't wait long enough for another conversation to get started on that. "Now what's this prophecy thing got to do with me?"

"So basically some cat told Firestar that 'there will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws.'"

 _The power of the stars in my paws?_ Jay's Wing blind gaze looked down at his two paws. He turned them over so his pads faced the ceiling. In his mind, he pictured the two of them before him. He couldn't imagine them holding anything let alone a star. They were small and, unlike twoleg paws, not very good for grabbing things.

"It doesn't mean literally," Hollypaw told him, picking up on his confusion. Jay's Wing felt his pelt flush. _Oh._ He felt silly. "It just means that the three of us have powers."

"You two do too?" Jay's Wing questioned. The siblings nodded. "What are they?"

"I can't get hurt," Lionpaw told him. There was no boasting in his tone though he did sound proud.

"How about you, Hollypaw?"

"I think… I think I have the special abilities of each of the clans," Hollypaw confessed. "I mean, not as good as a cat from each clan but kind of… y'know. Balanced."

Jay's Wing nodded. He didn't know enough about the other clans to have an opinion on this statement. Heck, he didn't even know the clans had special abilities let alone what they were. He'd have to ask some cat later.

"So anyway," Hollypaw said before Jay's Wing could get thinking too much, "you told us to keep quiet about our powers until we know more about the prophecy."

"What more is there to know?" Jay's Wing asked. "It sounds pretty straight forward."

"You're always complaining that StarClan cats aren't clear. You said that's probably not the whole thing," Lionpaw told him.

"And prophecies usually exist for a reason," Hollypaw added. "We have a purpose. We just don't know what it is."

"Okay." Jay's Wing shrugged. Whatever. He didn't really care about that. Hopefully whatever brought him here would take him back before his 'purpose' came.

"Do you understand, Jay?" Lionpaw asked, his voice pleading.

Jay's Wing nodded. "Yeah. I get it. Don't talk about the whole powers thing."

Hollypaw and Lionpaw considerably relaxed. The two of them let out sighs of relief and settled down. "Now, let's not let this prey go to waste."

* * *

Sitting by the thorn entrance, Leafpool saw Hollyaw and Lionpaw enter her den with prey in jaws. Good. She didn't want them around for what she was about to do.

Leafpool shook out her light brown pelt. The sun caught it but it didn't glow like her father's. Getting to her paws, she padded across camp to the fresh-kill pile where her sister and Brambleclaw were sharing tongues. Normally she wouldn't interrupt them but right now was one of the few moments that everyone she wanted to talk to was in camp and everyone she didn't want to talk to was occupied.

"Squirrelflight. Brambleclaw," Leafpool stated upon approaching the pair. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight looked up, amber and green eyes meeting another pair of amber. Leafpool noted the shine in them had come back. _They're doing so much better… I don't know if I can do this to them._ "Can I talk to you two?"

"Sure," Squirrelflight said, getting to her paws with Brambleclaw doing the same a heartbeat later. "What's up?"

"Hold on. I want to talk to Firestar too," Leafpool told her.

"Is something wrong?" Brambleclaw questioned. His voice was laced with worry and his eyes were round with concern.

Leafpool hesitated. "Maybe. I don't know. I just wanted to tell you guys."

"Is it Jaypaw?"

Leafpool nodded slowly, hating herself as she watched the pair's hearts shatter. They suddenly went from happy and energetic to more sullen and down. Squirrelflight's face fell as she lost her usual cheerful demeanor. Brambleclaw looked as if something had just sucked all the life out of him. Leafpool winced. She hated how she could break them in just a few words.

She shook her head clear. She couldn't let her feelings cloud her mind. She was a medicine cat. It was her job. No matter how much it hurt.

With a flick of her tail, she lead the two of them across camp and up to the highledge. She kicked a stone, announcing her arrival, and poked her head in. "Firestar?"

"Leafpool," the ThunderClan leader greeted upon her entrance. Sandstorm sat at his side and waved her tail in greeting. Leafpool dipped her head and took that as a signal to walk in. Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight trailed behind her. Firestar rose an eyebrow. "Oh. Hello Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight. I didn't see you."

Neither Brambleclaw or Squirrelflight said anything. Brambleclaw flicked an ear. Squirrelflight shrugged, eyes trained on the ground. Sandstorm suddenly looked worried.

"Is this about Jaypaw?" Firestar spoke after a moment. His green eyes flicked to Leafpool.

The medicine cat nodded. She paused a moment, pulling herself together. She took a deep breath. _I'll just come out and say it. Get it over with quick. No sense prolonging this._ But when she opened her mouth, no words came out and she just stood there feeling stupid.

"Take your time," Sandstorm offered gently. Leafpool blinked gratefully at her and swallowed before clearing her throat.

"Earlier today I went out to ShadowClan territory to ask Littlecloud about head injuries," Leafpool began. She took a deep breath before continuing. "As you know, Jaypaw's had some memory loss. He thinks he's a different cat."

"Oh Jaypaw," Sandstorm murmured. Firestar's eyes clouded with worry. This wasn't news to Brambleclaw or Squirrelflight but the ginger she-cat still pressed against her mate's strong flank for support.

"When I was out, Daisy took Toadkit to the medicine den," Leafpool continued. "She, of course, doesn't know about Jaypaw, just that he's injured, and I don't think she noticed anything. But Jaypaw… when I asked him how he was able to treat Toadkit… he said something weird."

"Weird?"

"What does that mean?"

"He started talking about… feelings."

"Feelings?" Firestar questioned. "I know that Jaypaw isn't the most open cat but talking about his emotions while dealing with a head injury isn't something to cause worry."

"Not emotions," Leafpool corrected. "He said… he said… he said when I 'feel stuff' he can feel it too. He compared it to water. I don't know what that means but he started to say something about _seeing_ but Hollypaw cut him off before he could go on. Normally I'd say that he was just confused from his injury but Hollypaw seemed to panic like she knew what he was talking about. It could be nothing, I just thought I'd let you know."

"Seeing?" Squirrelflight murmured. "Feelings?"

"Maybe his injury is worse than we thought," Brambleclaw said quietly.

"No," Firestar stated. His green eyes blazed as he got to his paws. Leafpool flinched at the confident way he held himself. Since he was her father, she sometimes overlook how much of a leader's spirit he had. Now was not one of those times. "I know what he's talking about."

Leafpool looked at him, face tense with perplexity. She tilted her head, prompting him to go on.

"Brambleclaw, do you remember back in the old forest when Sandstorm and I set off on a journey?" Firestar asked looking at his deputy. Brambleclaw nodded but didn't say anything. "I never told anyone, not even Greystripe, where we went. I… It's about time I told you. Promise me you won't tell the clan about this. Not yet at least."

Leafpool was alarmed by the seriousness in his voice but nodded alongside Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight. "I promise."

Firestar let out a long breath as he prepared himself to speak. "A long, long time ago, there weren't four clans. There five. Six, if you count StarClan."

"Five clans?" Leafpool repeated. She suddenly felt numb.

Her father nodded. "Five. Before the twolegplace was built, a clan named SkyClan lived in the forest next to ThunderClan but were driven out when twolegs destroyed their territory. They moved to a gorge far away from clan territory until they were wiped out by rats. StarClan sent me a dream telling me to rebuild SkyClan."

"Did you?"

"Yes. I did. And when I did, I met a cat named Skywatcher who gave me a prophecy."

"A prophecy?" Leafpool had never heard of any prophecy. _I'm his medicine cat. He should tell me these things._ Then she remembered she hadn't been born yet. By StarClan, that was a long time ago. Firestar had been kitless and now one of his kits had kits. _Maybe he told Cinderpelt?_ But judging from Sandstorm's surprised expression, it seemed Firestar hadn't told anyone.

"Skywatcher told me 'there will be three, kin of your kin, who hold the power of the stars in their paws.'" Firestar said, his voice as clear as the lake's waters. "At first I thought it was you two and Cloudtail but…"

"It's Lionpaw, Hollypaw, and Jaypaw," Bramblestar realized.

Firestar dipped his head. "I believe so."

"The power of the stars…" Leafpool whispered. A light shock seemed to settle into her through her fur. _StarClan holds the power of the stars… Surely no living cat can have StarClan's power._

"I don't know what that means," Firestar said. "But I have a feeling we may find out soon enough."


	9. Walk With Me

Pine trees. The sharp scent of the bark, the prickle of needles underpaw, the familiar yet unsettling outlines that stood out in the black of night. He couldn't believe he was here again. Not after all the begging he heard from Half Moon. Not after seeing such worry in those deep, green eyes. Not after he promised to be careful. Not after he told himself that she was more important. Not after he promised himself that he wouldn't come back. That he couldn't come back.

Jaypaw thought about turning back. He did and he knew it even if he doubted it later because his paws didn't stop. They wouldn't stop. He just kept heading deeper and deeper into the pine forest.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jaypaw saw a shadow move but thought nothing of it, thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him. He did pause when he felt the smooth dirt of twoleg path against his pads as he crossed into twoleg territory. His old wounds didn't even hurt as his belly twinged in excitement. Tonight would be the night. He was going to beat that stupid kittypet.

Jaypaw didn't remember heading out here but he remembered laying in his nest the previous night running through battle strategies in his head. Upon Half Moon's request to leave the kittypet alone, Jaypaw had gone to Lapping Wave for battle tutoring instead. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was breaking a promise right now but that thought was overpowered by the excitement for the fight to come.

Jaypaw frowned as he kept padding forward. He'd crossed the dirt path. The greenleaf twoleg nest was in a clearing just behind it… _I should be there already… Oh there it is._

Jaypaw broke the treeline and stepped into the clearing but he did not see that wooden fence nor the brown pelt of his rival. He stopped and tilted his head in confusion. _Did I take a wrong turn?_ That would be pretty embarrassing.

Above, there was no moon in the night sky and the bright light of stars was missing but Jaypaw didn't notice this. He was too focused on finding the kittypet to bother looking up at the sky. If he had, he may have noticed something was wrong.

Padding out of the clearing, Jaypaw headed deeper into ShadowClan territory. The shadows of the pine forest wrapped around him, consuming him, as he ventured farther and farther.

Jaypaw's legs didn't tire but he knew he had been walking far. Too far. This pine forest was endless. He should have broken into the fields he knew lay behind ShadowClan territory or ran into the river that lead to RiverClan territory. Jaypaw stopped and looked around, trying to figure out where he was. There were no landmarks, only pine trees. Behind them, he only saw darkness.

The darkness suddenly seemed to swallow him and the trees and ground faded from vision. Jaypaw yowled in surprise, breathing becoming labored. One thought pounded in his mind. _Am I blind? Am I blind? Am I blind again? Please StarClan, don't let my sight be gone._

 _"The Stars cannot see you here…"_

"Who's there?" Jaypaw yowled, blind eyes batting around the darkness wildly but he saw nothing. He unsheathed his claws. "Show yourself."

A dark, low laughter surrounded him. Jaypaw whipped around violently, trying to pinpoint its source but he saw nothing. Upon the movement, he saw the grey fur of his paws and he relaxed considerably. He wasn't blind. _This must be a dream._

The laughter sounded again.

 _"You are a smart one my little jay but this is not the realm of sleep."_

"Who's there?" Jaypaw called again. His voice did not echo but he could feel it in his ribcage alongside a rising feeling of fear. "How do you know who I am?"

The laughter sounded again and a solid, pure white shape materialized in front of him. "Oh little Jay. Don't you remember me?"

Jaypaw leaped backward instinctively then crouched into a defensive position, claws still out. The white tom merely stared at him. He titled his head to one side, sharp eyes boring into him. Jaypaw flinched as he was caught in his gaze. _His eyes are so red… They're like blood._

The white tom purred. He turned and flicked his tail in Jaypaw's direction. "Walk with me."

 _"Walk with me..."_

 _"Walk with me…"_

"Um. O-okay," Jaypaw stammered and bounded to catch up with the white tom. Attempting to match his strides, Jaypaw became suddenly aware of how massive this cat was. His shoulders had to be broader than even Brambleclaw's and Brambleclaw had the broadest shoulders of any cat Jaypaw knew. Eyes trailing over him, Jaypaw could see muscles ripples beneath his pelt as he moved with the power and precision of an experienced fighter.

 _"Walk with me..."_

 _"Walk with me…"_

"Um, who are you?" Jaypaw asked quietly after a bit. He swallowed, not liking the way his voice came out. The empety space around the pair seemed to be whispering to him. Like his stick only it wasn't soft and comforting. No, it was far more... unsettling. _And creepy._ "Where am I? And why am I here?"

The tom chuckled. "Oh little jay. You're too cute. Do you really think you can making through the third day without consequences?"

"Consequences?" Jaypaw repeated. The fear echoing in his chest had died down a bit but it was welling back up again. "What for? What did I do?"

"Your trial. You proved yourself a sharpclaw passing the Tribe of Still Water's trial on the first day. You proved yourself truly strong passing the Tribe of Stone Forest's trial on the second day. And on the third day… Oh little Jay. You proved yourself one of us."

"Who are you?" Jaypaw repeated. His heart raced. _Three days? Three trials? He's surely talking about the Rite of Passage… The tribe says no cat can survive longer than the first day but I did… Were there more trials? One on each day?_

The white tom chuckled again. Jaypaw's fur stood on end. That was creepy, he didn't like it. He saw no reason for any cat to ever chuckle instead of laugh and there was no reason to laugh if something wasn't funny.

"You can call me… Ink," the white tom decided. Jaypaw blinked. _Ink… Strange name for a white cat._ "And as for where you are… let's just say you're in a black spot."

"A black spot?"

 _"Walk with me..."_

 _"Walk with me…"_

"One of the places in the night sky where a star's light cannot reach," Ink explained. "A Place Of No Stars, if you will."

"A Place Of No Stars," Jaypaw murmured. That was a strange concept. He had always thought that StarClan could touch everywhere but it made sense that it couldn't. Besides, this was no StarClan. StarClan was filled with fields and forests filled with prey. This was just a place darker and emptier than the night sky.

"Walk with me," Ink said again and quickened his pace. Jaypaw had to run a bit to keep up with his long strides. "Look around you."

Jaypaw turned his head away from the white tom and let his gaze flick over the surrounding area. At first, all he saw was darkness but the image suddenly changed and slowly began morphing into something new. The world twisted around him in swirls of black that bled into new colors and plunged into the ground.

Jawpaw stopped in his pawsteps as he watched the forest rematerialize around him. Thankfully Ink stopped long enough for him to register his amazement. _StarClan's never done anything like this._

"What is StarClan?" Ink asked, massive head swinging to bore his sharp red eyes into him. Jaypaw flinched hard. _He can hear my thoughts?_ Ink's eyes narrowed. "We of the black spots derive from an ancient beast with who wielded the power of the mind. In the realm of sleep, I am all powerful. None of your thoughts can escape me."

Jaypaw shuddered as the pure white tom circled to face him. Jaypaw squeezed his eyes shut and looked away. Ink put a paw on his head and forced him to face him. Blue eyes met red and Jaypaw found himself unable to tear his gaze away. It was like the scarlet orbs were drawing him in.

"Hmm." As Ink stared into him, Jaypaw felt his eyes begin to dry from being held open so long and his mind tingle as something buzzed around in there. Like bees. It was such a strange feeling. Jaypaw often accused others of being bee brains. He really hoped no cat had ever gotten a bee in their brain because if it felt anything like this... "It seems you're not the one who walked the trial. No matter. You seem to have a natural affinity for the power of the mind. You will do."

Ink lifted his paw from Jaypaw. The young tom released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and backed away from him before breaking into a run. The terrain suddenly shifted around him and Jaypaw's foot caught on a root, sending him spilling into the ground. The skin on his forelegs burned as he skidded across the invisible ground. Jaypaw didn't push himself back to his paws. Scared, he shut his eyes and prayed that the darkness would consume him once more, eliminating the surrounding trees and the advancing tom.

 _"Walk with me..."_

 _"Walk with me…"_

 _"Walk with us…"_

"No," Jaypaw whimpered. He burrowed his face into the the ground and put his paws over his head, covering his ears. The voices were in his head but that didn't stop him from trying to block them out. "Leave me alone."

Ink snorted. "Pathetic. I'd say you should have thought about that before you entered the trial but like I said, that wasn't you. That's too bad. That jay was the first survivor of all three trials in generations. If he had your power, we'd have a revolutionary cat among us but it looks like we're stuck with you. At least you've got motive. May take a bit more work than I'd like but we'll make a fighter out of you yet."

Jaypaw's ears pricked at those words. _A fighter? They can help me become a sharpclaw?_ Jaypaw uncovered his head and looked back at Ink. His deep red eyes stood out against his white fur and gleamed in the shadows of the night.

"Don't think we haven't seen your fights with that pathetic kittypet," Ink said. "The stars see all and the black spots see even more. We can see your struggle. We can see your desire to be strong. To have power. And we can help you achieve it."

 _You don't know the half of my struggles,_ Jaypaw mentally snorted. But the offer was appealing. This cat lived beside the stars… That was pretty close to being a StarClan cat, right? It seemed close enough. He was scary but he could get over it. _Anything to be a warrior. Anything to be a sharpclaw. That's all I want._

Jaypaw didn't know of Ink heard his thoughts or if he accepted his silence as an answer but he dipped his head. "Very well. Your training begins now."

Ink unsheathed his claws and shot forward with stunning speed. Blinding pain exploded in his face as deadly claws raked down his face and Jaypaw's vision went white.

* * *

Jaypaw suddenly jolted awake gasping for air. His chest felt tight, he could barely breathe. His body felt damp and cold. It was kind of gross but he ignored it and focused on his breathing. After awhile, his panic died down and he managed to get a hold on his breathing. He let out a long sigh of relief as he became aware of the den around him and his body laying in his nest. _It was only a dream._

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of white. He gave a strangled yowl and leaped clean out his nest. He grunted as his back slammed flat into the wall but he didn't let that stop him. Eyes wild, he stood on his hind legs supported by his spine pressed flat against the wall. He held up his paws, ready to defend himself, and boxed the air with uncoordinated strikes.

"Woah, Jay's Wing, calm down!" Half Moon exclaimed. Jaypaw relaxed upon recognizing her and slid back down to all fours. He lowered his head, embarrassed. Half Moon came over to him, coiling around him, and ran soothing licks over his head. "Bad dream?"

"Something like that," Jaypaw murmured. She withdrew from him and sat down. Her eyes shone with worry. Jaypaw swallowed. _Green not red. Green not red. Deep, beautiful emerald green. Not red. Definitely not red… dark, cold, bloody, red… Green. Warm, kind. Green not red. Green not red. Green not red. Focus, Jaypaw. Green not red._

Half Moon seemed to sense his inner panic and guided him back to his nest. Jaypaw usually hated being guided but he didn't resist and numbly sat back down. Half Moon settled beside him and pressed close. Jaypaw closed his eyes, comforted by her warmth. Half Moon's muzzle found its way to his neck and Jaypaw let himself relax against her. _I can sit like this forever._

"Feeling better?" Half Moon asked after a while. Jaypaw opened his eyes. His eyelids were heavy with relaxation. He nodded slowly. "Care to tell be about it?"

Jaypaw hesitated, not really knowing what to say. His first instinct was to lie. Lying had become second nature and he hated himself for it. He let out a long breath and turned his head to look at her. He was momentarily captivated by her features. A soft purr rumbled in him. Pure love shone in his eyes. _I can't believe she's mine… That she can love a cat like me._

He felt those words on his tongue. He opened his mouth to say them but closed it again and pressed his head into hers wordlessly. The two sunk into each other and the fear Jaypaw had felt mere moments ago was forgotten.

* * *

Leafpool sat outside her den with half eaten prey at her paws. She glanced up worriedly. The sun had begun to set and the colors of the sky began to bleed together beautifully, lighting the sky with a faint orange glow.

"What's the matter?" Jay's Wing asked, poking his head out of the den. Leafpool jumped when his blind gaze struck her. She hadn't heard him drag himself over. That was probably a good thing. He seemed to be regaining the ability to walk. Silently too.

"Nothing's the matter, Jay," Leafpool told him. He lowered his head. His eyes seemed to see right through her. Leafpool shifted uncomfortably. _By StarClan, what's wrong with me? His eyes never used to bother me before…_ Part of her thought it was the revelation that this blind cat may actually be able to see her. Another part of her knew it was because it no longer held the familiarity of her apprentice and denmate. Either way, just by staring at her the young tom got her to speak. "It's half moon."

"What?" Jay's Wing said, alarmed. "Is she here? Is she okay?"

Leafpool blinked. "What?"

"What?"

"Half moon is the time we medicine cats go to the Moonpool to speak with our warrior ancestors," Leafpool explained. Jay's Wing visibly relaxed causing Leafpool to briefly wonder what that was about but she didn't ask. "I'm just wondering if it's okay to leave you here tonight."

Jay's Wing shrugged. "I don't see why you would need to stay here. I'm feeling better. My head still hurts but its not as bad anymore. And it's not like you've never left me alone before or like there isn't anyone else here."

"That's true but…" Leafpool trailed off. She flicked her gaze over him. She had removed most of his dressings already and raw, furless wounds were exposed. They were closed now but one glance reminded him of the state she had found him each and every time she looked in his direction. Remembering seeing his weakness, seeing so much blood, fearing for his life, it made her never want to leave his side again.

"Just go," Jay's Wing said, waving his tail at her. "I'll be fine."

"I know but…." Leafpool hesitated. _What if he's not here when I come back? His memory… he still thinks he's another cat. What if he leaves? He tried escaping once before._

"If you're so worried, just have Hollypaw and Lionpaw sleep here with me," Jay's Wing suggested. "You said Hollypaw used to be your apprentice, right? If anything happens, she'll be able to handle it."

"An apprentice can't really- Head injuries are complicated even for me."

"Then it's a good thing my head doesn't hurt so much anymore."

"Pain isn't necessarily a good indicator of how an injury is doing."

"If something's wrong, chances are it'll just start hurting again. I'm not going to start spouting blood out of my ears," Jay's Wing said dryly. He paused and looked up at her. "I'm not, right?"

"I don't know," Leafpool sighed. "Cats usually don't hit their heads. I don't know a lot about those kinds of injuries."

"I think vets do. Is there a twolegplace nearby?"

" _You_ want to go to a _twolegplace_?"

"I mean, no but when Falling Rain told me when his brother got kicked by a horse, he got really badly hurt so the tribe took him to a twoleg who took him to another twoleg that a kittypet he met called the vet. I think they're like the herb wielders of twolegs."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Horse. Y'know, like a big deer? Twolegs ride on them."

"I know what a horse is."

"Oh. Well, they have these really weird paws. They're huge and hard like rocks. And horses are really strong so they kick really hard."

"What are you meowing about?"

"Horse. Kicked my dad's brother. He got really hurt so my tribe brought him to a twoleg who took him to the vet. Falling Rain always used to tell me they're like magic twolegs. Anyway, I feel fine and besides, Hollypaw and Lionpaw will be around. Hollypaw is really fast. She can run and go get you if if anything happens. Just go do your medicine cat thing."

Leafpool stared at him. Jay's Wing looked perfectly calm sitting beside her. It was as if his brain just didn't register the nonsense he was spouting. She sighed. "On second thought, I think I'll stay. If StarClan has anything urgent to tell me, they can just come to me theirselves."

"Really? I thought you wanted to go. Seriously, I'm fine."

 _No. No you're not. You're really not Jaypaw._ "Don't worry about it. Just get some rest Jay."


	10. Kinship

"Ow!" Jaypaw yelped as he felt a sting on his flank. Half Moon didn't respond. She spat the dock leaf she was chewing on to his fur and began applying the paste. Jaypaw hissed as he felt the juices of the herb enter his wounds. "I swear I'm fine. I don't need herbs."

"Keep telling yourself that," Half Moon said sternly. "Now stop moving or this stuff is never going to get into your scratches."

"That's kind of the point," Jaypaw grumbled though he did stop his squirming. Half Moon was right, he was covered in scratches and other injuries once more and they were bound to get infected if he didn't get them treated.

Jaypaw shifted in his nest so he could get a better view of Half Moon. He liked to watch her while she worked. Well, he liked watching any cat and he just kinda liked looking at her in general but it was interesting to see herbs. During his training, he just guessed what they looked like. Leafpool had described them to him before but actually seeing them was something else.

Jaypaw looked to Half Moon. Her eyes were narrowed with focus and her face was hard. Jaypaw's tail tip twitched. That was unusual. Her face was always so light. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking."

Half Moon let out a long, frustrated sigh. "You really are clueless."

Normally, Jaypaw would come back with a snappy retort but he sensed patience was a necessity here. "Then make me unclueless."

"That's not a word."

"It could be. Did you invent cat-tongue?"

"No."

"Then how do you know? Seriously, Half Moon. What'd I do?"

"Half a moon ago you promised me you wouldn't get into anymore fights," Half Moon told him quietly. She sat back on her haunches and removed her paws from his shoulder so she was no longer rubbing the medicine into them. "And now you're all cut up again. How do you expect me do feel?"

"I promise I haven't gotten into any fights. Seriously, the cat I was fighting lives in the pine forest. You can go ask him. I haven't fought with him since you made me promise not too," Jaypaw said honestly. _That's technically not a lie. I haven't fought Tiger in half a moon._

Still, he had broken his promise not to fight but that was kind of an unrealistic promise. They were wild cats. They had predators and territory to defend. Even hunting could maybe be considered fighting. Besides, it wasn't like he had actively sought out the fight that had left him injured. It came to him. Or that was at least how he justified slipping into that Place of No Stars each night to train.

Ink proved to be a tough mentor. Training while you were asleep wasn't like anything Jaypaw had ever done before and unlike receiving dreams from StarClan, the training sessions left him very tired afterward.

It was paying off though. Ink wasn't teaching him how to hunt but the fighting increased his awareness and focused his reflexes. He could actually catch his own prey now. He'd manage to convince Fish Leap into having a practice fight with him and he beat him cleanly. The training was in no way fun or easy and it hurt and exhausted him but it made Jaypaw feel good. It made him feel like he could actually live the life of a sharpclaw.

But, as always, he couldn't tell Half Moon. Or he could, she just wouldn't understand. _I. Can't. Tell. Her. Anything._ It was frustrating. He once briefly expressed his desire to be a great sharpclaw and she didn't understand it as more than her own desire. If he told Hollypaw, Lionpaw or even Berrypaw or Poppypaw, they would understand because he was Jaypaw. Poor blind Jaypaw. Here, he was Jay's Wing which he loved but Jay's Wing had no struggles in his life so no one could understand his wish to rise above them because they didn't exist.

Jaypaw knew he could come clean about being Jaypaw not Jay's Wing but the thought of doing that scared him. Half Moon, Dove's Wing, Fish Leap, they were his friends but they were not his. He considered them friends but they considered Jay's Wing their friend, not Jaypaw. Revealing himself to be another cat would ruin everything.

So he kept his mouth shut and hung his head guiltily every time he disappointed Half Moon.

"I wish I could believe you," Half Moon went on. "But I can't if you keep coming back with all these injuries."

"I swear I haven't been sneaking out at night."

"Oh, so you're just waking up with these?"

"Um, yes?"

"Do you think I'm stupid or something?"

"No! Of course not!" Jaypaw jolted up to face her. Her eyes were round with concern.

"Then why won't you just tell me the truth?" Half Moon begged.

Jaypaw opened his mouth then hesitated. His mind scrambled. He didn't know what to say. Lying had become second nature. He didn't know what to tell her. He couldn't tell her about the Place Of No Stars. Well, he could but something was stopping him from doing so. And he couldn't think of anything else to say. "I… it's… it's…"

"Well?"

"It's the tunnels," Jaypaw blurted before he knew what he was saying.

Half Moon's eyes widened in surprise. "The tunnels?"

"Yeah," Jaypaw said. His memory went back to what Ink had told him upon their first meeting. "On the third day-"

"Don't," Half Moon cut him off. Jaypaw tilted his head in confusion. _Doesn't she want to know?_ Half Moon looked at him dead in the eyes. _Does she still think I'm lying?_ "You're a sharpclaw, Jay's Wing. I'm still a softpaw. You can't tell me about anything that happened in the tunnels until I pass the trial."

Realization dawned on Jaypaw. "Oh. Right. I forgot."

"But you can tell me in a few sunrises," a voice said cheerfully form the den's entrance. Jaypaw turned to see Dove's Wing loitering lazily around the opening in the wall. She waved her tail in greeting before stepping in. "I finally got my tutor to tell Furled Bracken that I'm ready to go."

"Really? That's great!" Half Moon exclaimed.

Dove's Wing nodded excitedly. "I know right! Furled Bracken wanted to delay it even longer after what happened to Jay's Wing but Whispering Breeze managed to convince him that wasn't going to happen again. Still, if you're willing to break the rules…"

"No," Jaypaw stated. "You get to go into the Rite of Passage as clueless as any other cat."

Dove's Wing stuck her tongue out playfully at him. "You're such a bore. Anyway, I came by to ask about what you did for your preparations. I know you just remembered what Fallen Leaves had done but I, y'know…"

"Need some help?"

"Yeah."

"The only stuff I can tell you about the trial is stuff you already know," Jaypaw said choosing his words carefully. He probably knew even less than they did but he wasn't about to reveal that. "You know that the trial lasts a day right?"

Dove's Wing nodded. "Yeah. A day in the tunnels."

"Well, there's no food down there and you're going to get pretty tired," Jaypaw told her. "You're going to get pretty tired. You should eat some traveling herbs before you go."

"Traveling herbs?"

"I've never heard of traveling herbs," Half Moon said. "Are you just pulling her tail, Jay's Wing?"

"No, of course not. I wouldn't mess around with something like this," Jaypaw said. _I nearly died down there. I may not know why but I'm not about to let the same thing happen to Dove's Wing._ "Sorrel, daisy, chamomile, and burnet. They keep cats energized and prevent them from getting hungry for awhile."

"That sounds useful."

"Where'd you learn about that?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "I dunno. I must've overheard it from some cat."

The two she-cat seemed to accept this answer. With no medicine cats in the tribe, herb knowledge just floated around among the group. It wasn't uncommon for a cat to not remember where they learned something.

"Do you know where I can find some?" Dove's Wing asked.

Jaypaw shrugged again. "Sorry. Maybe ask Rising Moon or Running Horse?"

Dove's Wing nodded and began heading towards the exit. "Okay thanks!"

"Wait, I'll come with you," Jaypaw said getting to his paws. He felt a forceful paw on his back push him back down.

"Oh no you're not," Half Moon told him sharply. "You're staying here until I finish putting this dock on your scratches."

"Yes Half Moon," Jaypaw responded sulkily.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"I'm fine. Go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! For the star cats' sake, just go. You already missed your medicine cat thing because of me. You don't have to miss this Gathering thing too."

Leafpool and Jay's Wing were standing outside their shared den, Jay's Wing lashing his tail irritably. The sun had begun to set and cats were gathering at the camp's exit to head over to this moon's Gathering but instead of joining her clanmates, Leafpool was fussing over Jay's Wing.

"Seriously. I'll be fine. Go. It's not like I'm going to be alone or anything," Jay's Wing pushed. "Firestar's making Hollypaw and Lionpaw go because they've been spending so much time with me instead of doing anything fun. Same should go for you too."

"But then you won't be here with anyone you… remember," Leafpool protested.

"I'll be fine for one night," Jay's Wing promised. "It's not like I've never spent a night alone. I'll probably be sleeping anyway. I'll hardly notice."

"But what if something happens?"

"Nothing has happened to me since I got here other than those spazzy headaches I used to get but they're gone. I haven't had one in forever and if I did, I know where the poppy seeds are."

"You can't just take a bunch of poppy seeds."

"Well, that's all you'd be giving me if you stayed back. Come on Leafpool, just go have the night to yourself. You said you wanted to talk with the other medicine cats. Now's the time. I'll be fine. You won't be gone the whole night and I can call out to someone staying back if anything happens."

"The other ThunderClan cats don't know about your memory loss," Leafpool told him softly. Jay's Wing narrowed his eyes but did not correct her. Now wasn't the time. "If you talk to them and…"

"Don't worry about it. Chances are nothing will happen anyway. Just go to the stupid Gathering Leafpool."

"Are you sure?"

"After all that you think I'm not sure?"

Leafpool sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll go. But you better be here when I get back."

"Where could I possibly go?"

Leafpool didn't respond. Jay's Wing heard her pawsteps patter off towards the camp's entrance. He let out a long sigh and let out a long sigh. _By the stars, it shouldn't take that much effort to convince an overworked cat to do take a night to herself._

Jay's Wing gave a big yawn and ran his tongue over his paw and washing his ears. He couldn't remember the last time he'd groomed. Being blind also unfortunately meant he couldn't see if his fur was dirty or not and being injured meant that he got pretty gross pretty fast between the blood, the dressings, and just plain sitting around all day. He winced as his tongue hit his fur and immediately flinched and began coughing. _I'm rank!_

Jay's Wing turned to his flank and was immediately met with the irony taste of blood mixed with the bitterness of herbs. He gagged and began spitting. _Seriously, did no one clean me up while I was unconscious? I'm disgusting! How did Toadkit not scream when he saw me when he came into the den last half moon? I must look so gross!_

Jay's Wing gave up using his tongue pretty quickly and wandered back into the medicine den. _I know there's a little stream that runs in here… But if I use moss I'm just going to end up making a mess and I can't just sit in it. I'd contaminate the water…_ Jay's Wing sighed. _This is going to be such a pain._

Jay's Wing sat down next to the small pool formed in the back of the medicine den and immediately felt tired even though he hadn't done anything yet. He closed his eyes for a moment, debating whether or not to go to sleep. _No. I spend way too much time sleeping. If I don't do this, Leafpool or Hollypaw or someone will do it. This is the least I can do. They've all done so much for me, even if they won't accept who I am._

Jay's Wing dipped his paw into the water and flung water onto himself. He flinched at the contact and used every ounce of willpower he had to resist the urge to shake it off. _Come on, it's just water, Jay's Wing. You can put up with a little bit of water._

Jay's Wing squeezed his eyes shut as he braced before scooping another pawful of water over his pelt. He suppressed a shiver. _This is going to be a long night._

* * *

"Psst. Foxkit. Are you a wake?" a voice whispered through the darkness.

A reddish tabby tom lifted his head from the thick layer of moss that surrounded him and blinked a few times, vision blurry and the den dark. "Icekit?"

Foxkit felt the moss shift as his sister scrambled over. Her snow white pelt stood out in the dark as she maneuvered around Ferncloud, careful not to wake her. The pair was nearing their sixth moon of life and their apprenticeship. They were plenty experienced with moving around without waking their mother after sharing a nest for so long. It was getting harder, they were nearly the size of some of the younger apprentices, but they took the challenge readily.

"What are you doing?" Foxkit asked. He could see his sister's bright blue eyes gleaning in the trickle of moonlight that shone into the nursery. "It's the middle of the night."

Icekit tilted her head looking hurt but Foxkit knew she was feigning it. "I thought you of all cats would be up for some nighttime sneaking around but I guess not…"

Foxkit slapped her in the face with his tail. Not too hard though. He didn't want to hurt her or wake Ferncloud. He grinned at her. "Of course I do! I can't believe I'm not the one suggesting it. What did you have in mind? Rubbing bile in the apprentice's nest… Hiding bones around the camp…"

"Not a prank," Icekit said firmly. "No more pranks. We almost got caught last time."

Foxkit waved his tail dismissively but he paused when he couldn't think of another response. _It's true… We did almost get caught last time. Oh well, I'll be better next time._ "So what do you want to do?"

"Let's get outside first," Icekit said, flicking her ears in the direction of their sleeping mother. Ferncloud was breathing rhythmically, her grey flank rising and falling with each breath. Icekit slipped out of the nest and Foxkit moved to follow her when he felt Ferncloud shift and her slow breathing pause for a moment. The two kits froze immediately. Ferncloud let out a long sigh and shifted again before her usual breathing resumed. Icekit and Foxkit relaxed with relief and the red tabby stepped out of the nest after his sister. They were home free.

As they stepped out of the nursery, Foxkit's fur prickled at the cool air. Above, the moon was bright and full. Foxkit gazed up at it. A smoky grey cloud drifted over it. Foxkit closed his eyes. _Soon, I'll be an apprentice and I'll get to go to the Gathering each full moon._

"Foxkit!" Icekit hissed. Foxkit opened his eyes to look at his sister. She beckoned him to follow. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Foxkit asked, trotting to catch up with her.

"The medicine den."

"Why? Even I know better not to mess with Leafpool's herbs…"

"Not everything we do has to be trouble, Foxkit," Icekit sighed. She paused in her steps and looked down at her paws. Foxkit stopped beside her and put his nose to the top of her head comfortingly, thinking something was wrong. When Icekit looked back up at him, her eyes shone with worry. "It's just…"

"Jaypaw?" Foxkit questioned. Icekit nodded. Foxkit glanced over at the medicine den and felt something weigh down in his chest. _Jaypaw… I haven't seen him in… How long has it been? A moon? A moon and a half? Not since Dustpelt showed up at the nursery covered in blood to tell Ferncloud to not let us out…_

"I want to go see if he's okay," Icekit said, snapping Foxkit from his thoughts. "I miss him."

"Me too," Foxkit agreed. "But don't you think Leafpool's keeping him in the medicine den for a reason?"

Icekit shrugged. "I don't know. She went to the Gathering so he's well enough to leave alone…"

"Oh. Good point," Foxkit said. It made sense and he couldn't imagine why Leafpool wasn't letting them visit Jaypaw. Hollypaw and Lionpaw were great but after becoming apprentices they were never around. They weren't mean or anything but Jaypaw was always there and he would spend time with them when Leafpool wasn't making him sort herbs or something. Sure Jaypaw didn't play like he used to and he was kind of prickly but Foxkit still liked him a lot. He didn't understand why he couldn't see him.

Foxkit met his sister's gaze. She looked a bit guilty. Foxkit gave a friendly smile and waved his tail excitedly. "Cheer up, sis. Come on, let's go see Jaypaw!"

Icekit's expression stiffened then lit up. "Really?"

"Do you really think I'd say no?" Foxkit questioned.

Icekit laughed. "No, I guess not."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Foxkit asked before breaking into a run and charged across camp. He could hear Icekit's laugh as she raced after him.

The camp wasn't too big so it didn't take long to make it to the medicine den from the nursery. Foxkit skidded to a halt, paws scuffing up the sandy ground as he slid. Icekit managed to stop a bit more gracefully than her brother. Within moments, the two were poking their heads into the medicine den.

The first thing Foxkit noticed as the strong scent of herbs. No matter how many times he came here, he could never get used to that powerful smell that hit him upon entering. He couldn't imagine spending a night in here let alone living here. Leafpool and Jaypaw's olfactory sensors had to be dead after living here for so long.

The second thing Foxkit noticed was the thin figure sitting in the back of the den. The shadows seemed to envelop him. Foxkit couldn't quite see the cat clearly but two cloudy blue eyes cut right through the dark. Foxkit shivered. It felt like those eyes could see right through him, piercing his heart like frozen claws. No, his soul. Foxkit found himself unable to move. His legs buckled behind him. _What's this feeling? I've never felt like this before…_

"Who are you?" The voice cut through the night as sharp as those eyes.

"I-It's Icekit," Icekit stuttered. She could feel it too. "A-and Foxkit…"

"I've never heard those names," the voice responded.

"J-Jaypaw?"

"Jaypaw, it's us," Foxkit said. Drawing on every bit of bravery he had in him, he pulled together enough courage to take a step forward. It was shaky but there wasn't much he could do about that. _For StarClan's sake, why am I so scared? It's not like I've never seen Jaypaw's eyes at night._

"I'm not Jaypaw," the voice said. Soft pawsteps could be heard and the cat slunk forward from the shadows of the back of the den. The cat stepped where the moonlight came in. The light hit a pelt. It was grey with lean muscles beneath it and herbs and dressings plastered onto it. The cat stood tall and proud, sightless eyes looking down on the kits intimidatingly. He wasn't much taller than them but his presence towered over them and Foxkit found himself shrinking away.

Icekit seemed to find her courage. "Then who are you? You look just like him."

The cat- a tom- hesitated. Foxkit's eyes fell on a thick dressing on the top of his head. For a brief moment, fear flashed in the tom's eyes but his eyes turned back to frozen stone orbs in a heartbeat. He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He closed it then his icy eyes. He looked down. Foxkit felt his fear fade but he was still wary.

"My name is Jay's Wing," the cat said. "And I'm a shapclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I got really ahead on writing then I got really behind. You may notice that the writing style changed halfway through the chapter. My mood affects how much effort I put into writing a lot. Expect a weird update schedule.

Between this chapter and the last, I'm getting really off track from my plans but I like it. Usually I don't work on a story as I'm positing it but I'm enjoying being able to use feedback to change the story.

Originally no one was going to find out about Jay's Wing until the end but it's way cooler this way. I honestly don't remember any defining personality traits or close relationships between a lot of the characters who haven't been main characters. I always just tuned them out as background characters but I realize that most of the cats in ThunderClan have a lot of their own stuff going on. Some people have been suggesting/ asking about the other apprentices and kits so I decided to write them in. I never thought Foxleap or Icecloud were important characters until I read some fanfic with them and I started remembering things from the books.

You guys really seemed to like the (not) Dark Forest thing. I'm glad. There'll be a bit more of that in the future.


	11. Revelation

At the entrance of the medicine den, the strange cat lifted his head and looked down at the two kits with piercing blue eyes as the striking moonlight illuminated his fur.

"My name is Jay's Wing," the cat said. "And I'm a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

 _Jay's Wing? Sharpclaw? Tribe?_ Foxkit's head spun. _That doesn't make any sense._

Icekit spoke first. "Jay's Wing? Are you just pulling our tails?"

The cat's expression changed. He suddenly looked far less stoic and intimidating. He looked at the two kits as if he had just lost something. "No I'm not… pulling your tails as you put it."

"Really? 'Cuz you look just like Jaypaw."

"I know. That's why every cat thinks I'm him."

"But you're blind and everything. I really think you're Jaypaw."

Jay's Wing sighed. "I'm not blind. Or at least I wasn't until I arrived here. I'm suspecting some higher power put me in another cat's body. Jaypaw's."

"Higher power? Like StarClan?" Foxkit questioned.

Jay's Wing shrugged. "Maybe. Hey, what is a StarClan anyway? I keep hearing cats talking about it but no one's ever told me what it was."

Jay's Wing suddenly seemed a lot less scary.

 _He's never heard of StarClan?_ Foxkit blinked. _This definitely isn't Jaypaw._

"StarClan is like… StarClan cats are our warrior ancestors," Icekit explained.

"They live in the Silverpelt," Foxkit added. "And each star in the sky is a StarClan cat. Only leaders and medicine cats can talk to StarClan but every cat joins them when they die."

Jay's Wing nodded. "I think I get it. My tribe worships the stars as well and we become stars when we die. Any sharpclaw can talk with them though. Most don't really like going to the Starpool though."

"Starpool? Is that like the Moonpool?" Icekit asked.

Jay's Wing shrugged again. "I don't know. I've never been there. I only just became a sharpclaw myself. Or I would have if I hadn't ended up in this stupid place before my trial was over. Wait..."

"What?" Foxkit asked but Jay's Wing didn't respond. He stared off into the distance. He seemed to be off in his own little world.

* * *

Leafpool padded anxiously beside Squirrelflight as ThunderClan approached the tree bridge leading to the island. This was the first full moon since Jaypaw's incident. She had already spoken to Littlecloud but this was her first chance to talk with Mothwing and Barkface. She was apprehensive about what they had to say.

Leafpool was the youngest medicine cat but somehow she doubted the others knew much more about this than she. Head injuries were uncommon for cats. Not unheard of but Leafpool couldn't think of a single cat who had hit their head. Well, she had but usually those cats were dead. Head-hitting had become more of a figure of speech than a reality. When cats acted bizarre, it was normal for a cat to ask if they had hit their head but it was meant almost as a joke. No cat in the clans had any memory loss for reasons other than old age, kittypets had the Cutter to care for their injuries, and rogues and loners usually ended up dead when they got hurt. Leafpool was sure no one knew anything about this.

The tabby felt a tail tip on her shoulder. She glanced over. Amber met emerald. Squirrelflight gave her a comforting smile. "Don't worry Leafpool. It's not like they can tell you it's worse than it already is."

Leafpool sighed. _I suppose that's true._

"Lighten up," Squirrelflight encouraged. "Firestar's making Lionpaw and Hollypaw come to distract them from everything that's been happening and let them have some fun. Same goes for you. You must be even more stressed than they are."

Leafpool purred softly. "You don't know the half of it."

* * *

One moment, Jay's Wing was standing in that den with those two ThunderClan kits. The next he was thrown into a memory. Or maybe a dream. He couldn't tell the difference. He just knew he wasn't standing in the waking world anymore. _I can see._

He would be overjoyed to have sight again if he was anywhere but here. Earth and shadows surrounded him. He was in the tunnels. He knew the medicine den wasn't down there, he knew this was in his mind. _This isn't the entrance… I only remember going down. Is this what happened after that?_

A roar caught his attention. Not a roar like the great beastly cats that he had heard about in legend. It was more like a crashing sound. It was deafening and only grew louder.

Jay's Wing looked around, searching for the source. The tunnels were narrow, maybe a foxlength up and across. And they winded. He couldn't see much around him other than dirt and the occasional stone.

Jay's Wing closed his eyes. As much as he wanted to savor his sight, he knew having fewer senses strengthened the others. The sounds became clearer in an instant and Jay's Wing strained to focus. _Where's that sound coming from…_

Jay's Wing sensed something behind him. He turned. At first he saw nothing. Then he felt it. _Vibrations…_

And then the tunnel exploded.

Not really. But judging from how Jay's Wing reacted, anyone would have thought it had.

Water. Lakes and lakes worth of water came gushing down the narrow tunnels. Jay's Wing hardly had time to let it register before a thin layer leading the wave hit his paws and sent him into a dead run.

Over the roaring, cackling filled his ears. _"Day One: First Quarter: Floods."_

Jay's Wing flattened his ears despite knowing that would do nothing to block out the voice. It was in his head. He was a softpaw, no sharpclaw was allowed to talk about the trial but he was sure he had never overheard anyone mention voices like this.

"Who are you?" he yowled.

He heard cackling again. _"My name is unimportant. I am the Proctor of the First Day. Escape my floods before the second quarter and you become a sharpclaw. If you don't… well. The last one made it to the Third Day and let's just say Ink doesn't make the Third Day as easy as the other two."_

Jay's Wing shivered. _Three days? A trial on each one?_ He had never heard of that. _Probably because no one lives that long down here._

" _You better run little Jay,"_ a voice distinctly different from the first said hauntingly. _"I sense something in you… I hope you get a chance to try your paw at my trial."_

 _Not if I have anything to say about it._ Jay's Wing shivered. The first voice had been female with a malicious tone. This new voice was male and dark. He didn't want to meet its owner.

Jay's Wing felt the water lap at his paws. He glowered and poured more energy into his paws, pushing himself to go faster. In his mind, he could hear the two voices laughing at him, a third joining them. They were mocking him.

" _Keep on running little Jay."_

* * *

Leafpool scanned the island as ThunderClan arrived. It seemed WindClan and RiverClan had arrived before her own. Good. That meant she had more time to talk with Barkface and Mothwing.

With a tail flick goodbye to her sister, Leafpool bounded across the clearing to the corner where the medicine cats sat. Mothwing and Barkface were talking about something while Kestrelpaw and Willowpaw were chatting excitedly.

Willowpaw was the first to notice the ThunderClan medicine cat's arrival. She smiled brightly and waved her tail in greeting. "Hi Leafpool!"

"Hi Willowpaw," Leafpool greeted. She nodded to Kestrelpaw who nodded back. Leaving the apprentices to their own devices, she turned to Mothwing and Barkface.

"We need to talk."

"Where's Jaypaw?" Mothwing asked casually. Leafpool closed her eyes. _Oh Mothwing…_

"Jaypaw…" Leafpool trailed off. What could she possibly say? _By StarClan, why is this always so hard?_ "Jaypaw's injured."

"Oh. Is he alright?" Mothwing asked.

When someone asks if someone is alright or how someone is doing, the answer is always fine. Even if they're not. Over time, the question had lost its meaning. It was a formality more than anything. _But Jaypaw's not fine._ "No."

Mothwing visibly flinched. Barkface frowned. "What's the matter? Did he fall? Was he attacked?"

"I don't know," Leafpool answered. She spoke quietly, not wanting the apprentices to hear their mentors' conversation.

"You don't know what happened? Is he unconscious? Has he injured this throat? Can he not speak?"

"No, no. He can still talk," Leafpool assured. She paused. "He has… He has a head injury of some sort. He thinks he's a different cat."

Barkface and Mothwing looked shock. Mothwing's mouth gaped, Barkface's eyes were wide.

"Another cat? Who does he think he is?"

"Someone named Jay's Wing. Jaypaw seems to have a pretty complex background for this cat in his mind. He says he's a tribe cat, a sharpclaw, and that he has a sister named Dove's Wing. He doesn't talk about himself much, at first he thought he were holding him prisoner, but it's clear he has an entire identity figured out for this cat he thinks he is," Leafpool explained. She looked at her paws. "I don't know much about injuries to the mind. I don't think any cat does. I already spoke to Littlecloud about it."

"Spoke to me about what?" A small tabby tom broke from the mass of cats and made his way to where the medicine cats sat. "You're just now talking to these two about Jaypaw?"

"What happened to Jaypaw?" Willowpaw spoke up. Leafpool flicked her ear in annoyance. They'd been speaking quietly to keep Willowpaw and Kestrelpaw from overhearing but now it looked like they'd have to come clean about it. Or not. Mistystar rose from her place on the great oak tree and threw her head back to the sky in a yowl.

"Cats of all clans, let the Gathering begin!"

* * *

Jay's Wing's mind snapped back to reality. His vision returned to its familiar darkness, his fur was no longer soaked, and he could feel the cool ground beneath his paws. _What was that? A dream? A vision? A memory?_ He had never experienced something like that before.

"Jay's Wing?" Jay's Wing turned to the source of the voice. It was the she-kit. Icekit, that was her name. He could feel her and her brother's gazes looking up at him. "Are you alright? You kinda zoned out for a few heartbeats there."

"I'm fine." _A few heartbeats? That felt like half a day!_ "What was I saying?"

"You were telling us how you ended up here..." Foxkit told him. "In Jaypaw's body, I guess."

"Right," Jay's Wing said. He thought for a moment. If he'd been asked yesterday, he would have absolutely no idea how to respond but that memory flash he'd just had… "I remember… I remember three voices. In my head."

"In your head?"

"Not in an insane way. Like someone was right there with me and I just couldn't see them," Jay's Wing told them. "She- the first one was a female- said she was the Proctor of the First Day of the trial. The other two, they were the proctors of the second and third day. The second one was a she-cat, the third was a tom. I think I heard the first one call him Ink. She said he was scary."

"What's a proctor?" Foxkit asked.

"I don't know."

"I think it's kind of like a mentor?" Icekit guessed. "Except they just watch. They don't teach anything."

"That makes sense. They weren't really there but I could feel them watching me," Jay's Wing said. He shivered. "It was weird."

"Maybe they were StarClan cats," Icekit suggested. "If they could talk in your head like that, they must be pretty powerful and only StarClan cats have powers like that."

Jay's Wing chose not to mention the prophecy. After all, he had promised Hollypaw and Lionpaw that he wouldn't. "I guess."

"But why would StarClan cats bring you here?" Foxkit asked. "It doesn't make much sense. Jaypaw was doing just fine here. No offense, but I like it better when he's in his body."

"None taken. I'd much rather be home than here," Jay's Wing responded.

"The night sky is made up of more than stars…" Icekit said. "Maybe someone else put Jay's Wing in Jaypaw's body."

"Like the moon?" Foxkit snorted as if the idea was ludicrous. He laughed. "Imagine if- wait."

"What?"

"If Jay's Wing is here in Jaypaw's body…" Foxkit started. "Then where is Jaypaw?"

* * *

"... and WindClan has nothing left to report," Onestar concluded. He looked to the ThunderClan leader. "Firestar?"

Firestar nodded and dipped his head to his old friend as he got to his paws to speak. _How should I put this…_ "Prey is running well in ThunderClan. ThunderClan remains strong but we had an… incident on our territory."

"An incident?" Mistystar questioned.

Firestar nodded. "We believe that _something_ attacked one of our apprentices. We do not know what it is and no one has seen it but I advise the other clans to look out for it."

The crowd broke into murmurs. The other leaders exchanged a few glances.

"Did you check for scents?" a cat called out from below.

"Of course. Unfortunately the scent of blood overpowered everything in the clearing and stained the dirt too deeply for us to find anything. Even so, whatever it was it left no other trace."

"Are you sure then that it was an animal that attacked your apprentice?" Blackstar asked. "It's possible that your apprentice could be lying to avoid punishment."

Firestar dipped his head. "No, we do not know what exactly happened. And our apprentice does not remember what happened to him."

"Sounds like he's lying," Blackstar muttered under his breath. Firestar flicked his ear at him. Blackstar nodded. It was a secret signal between the leaders. It meant they were to discuss something privately after they were done with their reports.

"ThunderClan has nothing left to report," Firestar finished. The assembled cats broke into conversation among themselves as per usual and Firestar turned to his fellow leaders. "Do you want your deputies to be involved in this conversation?"

"Do you want them to?" Mistystar asked.

"I really don't care."

"Then it's probably best that they are not. We don't want to raise suspicion."

"Very well."

"So what is it your not telling us?" Onestar asked.

"The apprentice that was injured was Jaypaw," Firestar said lowering his voice so eavesdroppers could not overhear. "His siblings and their mentors found him unconscious and bleeding on our territory. He woke several days later with no memory of what happened or who he was."

"Oh StarClan," Mistystar whispered.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Onestar said, dipping his head.

Blackstar was less accepting. "I apologize for accusing a medicine cat of lying but have you considered the possibility he knows more than he's letting on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Jaypaw's blind. He has been his whole life," Blackstar started. "If I remember correctly, he originally had Brightheart as his mentor and planned to train as a warrior before switching to be a medicine cat. I hear he has a reputation as cold and and unfriendly."

"I don't see where you're going with this," Onestar said.

"As I'm sure you remember, I lived as a rogue for a time," Blackstar went on. He looked uncomfortable. That wasn't exactly a point of pride in his past. "I saw… things that are… The clans are very different from the rest of the world but that doesn't mean that the clans are immune to certain… things."

"I still don't see where you're going with this," Onestar said again. "'Things' isn't a very descriptive word. It could mean anything."

"Have you seen a creature that can do something like this?" Mistystar asked.

"No. Well, depends on how you look at it," Blackstar answered.

"Just get to your point, Blackstar," Firestar instructed.

"I'm saying Jaypaw may have injured himself," Blackstar said. Firestar blinked and felt his blood run cold. _What?_ "You said the blood overpowered the scent, there may have not even been a foreign scent to begin with."

"A-are you suggesting that Jaypaw tried to take his own life?" Mistystar uttered, shocked. Blackstar nodded.

"That's ludicrous," Onestar stated. "Cats- any animal really- would never-"

"They do. I've seen it happen," Blackstar said sharply. "Depression and emotional pain hurt more than any claw or tooth."

"But to go that far to escape it… And at such a young age…"

"I'm not saying it did happen. I'm just saying it's a possibility," Blackstar stated dismissively.

"An unlikely one," Onestar pointed out. "We all have lived through war. Cats of every clan have lost loved ones and I have never heard of a cat going such far lengths to escape pain. Leave the clan, maybe, but never that."

"Loss is a different kind of pain. It strikes, it can be dealt with and healed," Blackstar told them. "I don't know Jaypaw but I suspect he feels a different kind of pain. Not one that just struck him one day. One he has held with him since the day he opened his eyes. None of us understand how he feels. He likely feels a different kind of pain. A constant one. All around him. Unhappiness and unfulfillment can push a cat to his limits."

Firestar finally found his voice. "I… I don't think Jaypaw would do that. Sure he isn't the happiest cat. I… I don't know if I've ever heard him truly laugh or genuinely smile but I think he just doesn't know how to express it… He's blind, he doesn't know what emotions look like. How can I expect him to express them like every other cat?"

"Or he doesn't feel like every other cat," Blackstar pointed out. Firestar looked at his paws and suddenly felt incredibly guilty. _What if Blackstar is right? I don't think Jaypaw would do that to himself but he… he's so different from his peers._ Blackstar's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Was there something else you wanted to tell us?"

"Hmm? Oh, right." Firestar cleared his throat. "Like I said, it was Jaypaw's siblings and their mentors who found Jaypaw. When they found him… Well, they didn't find him. They were lead to him."

"Lead to him?" Mistystar echoed.

Firestar nodded. "They haven't told anyone except me. I don't really know what to think of it myself, I'm not sure if I believe it or not."

"Just spit it out."

"They say they saw a ghost."

"A ghost?" Onestar's eyes were practically bulging from his head.

"Don't tell me you believe in ghosts," Blackstar scoffed.

"Of course I don't!"

"Ghosts are lost spirits, are they not?" Mistystar questioned. "We know cats' spirits go to StarClan when they die. The idea of ghosts isn't that far out there."

"I know but seeing one?" Blackstar chuckled. The tense air had long since faded and had been replaced with a much lighter one. "I always imagined spirits were invisible. That's why we can't see cats on their way to the Silverpelt."

"Maybe ghosts are different?" Onestar suggested. "If what Mistystar and Blackstar said is true, ghosts spirits trapped down here with us. Maybe the invisibility is temporary?"

Firestar shrugged. "I really don't know and I don't really know. For all I know, one of them just saw a rogue and the others were so high on adrenaline their memories got warped. I just wanted to warn you. However I advise you don't tell your clans. It all seems kind of ridiculous."

"Well then." Mistystar let out a long breath. "That's the most exciting talk I've had in awhile. RiverClan! We're leaving!"

"WindClan after them!" Onestar yowled.

Firestar felt a weight lift from his chest. He hadn't realized how worried he'd been about how that talk would go.

Firestar felt a tail tip on his shoulder. He looked over to see Blackstar's yellow eyes staring into him intently. "Talk to Jaypaw, will you?"

Firestar nodded, surprised by the concern Blackstar was showing for a cat who wasn't his clanmate. "I will. And thank you."

"Anytime." Blackstar dipped his head and jumped off the branch. Firestar lingered for a moment longer before doing the same. _Oh Jaypaw. How could I have been so blind?_


	12. Within A Heart

Jay's Wing stiffened. _That fox dung! He better not be doing anything weird with my body. I am SO going to claw his face off if he does anything stupid. I could probably claw my own face right here and now. It's not mine anyway._

Jay's Wing clawed the ground in frustration. How had he not thought of this sooner? He was in Jaypaw's body. That explained his blindness and these strange powers. _And that means Jaypaw is in my body. With my tribe. With Half Moon and Fish Leap and Dove's Wing and Whispering Breeze and Lapping Wave and- by the star cats. His life sucks! He has every reason to lie about who he is. He better not do anything embarrassing in my body!_

"Are you alright?" Foxkit asked, eyeing Jay's Wing's clawmarks on the earth.

"I'm fine," Jay's Wing said through gritted teeth. "I just… I hadn't realized all of that. I can't believe a kit figured it out before me."

"Hey! I'm almost an apprentice!"

"Key word almost," Jay's Wing purred. He willed himself to calm down. _At least I've found allies in these two. They believe me._ "Hey, it's getting late. I don't know what time the clan usually makes it back after one of those Gathering things but we should probably all get to sleep."

"Oh yeah," Foxkit said.

"We're not actually supposed to be here," Icekit added.

"Well then you two better get back in your nest," Jay's Wing told them. "Can you come visit me tomorrow?"

Jay's Wing sensed waves of happiness radiate from the two as they broke into purrs. "Of course!"

"Great!" Jay's Wing was happy to finally have companions here who accepted him. "I'll ask Leafpool if I can go to the fresh-kill pile tomorrow. If you see me, come over. If not, ask Leafpool or your mother if you can visit."

"Okay!" Icekit said enthusiastically. "Come on Foxkit. Let's go back to Ferncloud before Dustpelt gets back. We don't want him to catch us or he won't let us visit Jay's Wing tomorrow."

"Right." Foxkit nodded. "Bye Jay's Wing!"

"Bye Foxkit, bye Icekit," Jay's Wing said waving his tail. It ached a bit but he ignored it as a warm feeling spread through his body and he broke into a purr.

* * *

"You four should get going to your nests," a voice rumbled. Jaypaw looked over to see a pale ginger she-cat watching him and the softpaws. In the dim light of the cave-like tunnel, her graying muzzle was hardly visibly but Jaypaw could hear the age in her voice.

"We could say the same for you,," Fish Leap responded good naturedly but got to his paws and flicked his tail to his peers. He let out a big yawn. "Later guys. I'm wiped."

"Were we keeping you up, Cloudy Sun?" Dove's Wing asked as Fish Leap padded away.

"No. I like listening to you youngsters, even if it is in the middle of the night."

"Is it really that late?" Half Moon asked.

Cloudy Sun shrugged. "I have no idea but the rest of the tribe is in their nests." She yawned. "Fish Leap was right… I really am getting too old to be staying up like this."

Dove's Wing purred. "You've still got plenty of good seasons in you."

"You think?" Cloudy Sun questioned. Dove's Wing nodded. "Well, these old bones of mine still need to settle down for the night… See you youngsters in the morning."

"Goodnight Cloudy Sun," Jaypaw called after her. Jaypaw liked the sweet elder. She was always looking out for him and his friends.

"I'm going to head to my nest," Dove's Wing announced, getting to her paws. "Don't stay up too late you two. Don't do anything I wouldn't."

Half Moon swatted at her playfully. Dove's Wing weaved around it and shot the pair a humorous smirk before leaving the main section of the tunnel to head to her den. Half Moon turned her attention to Jaypaw. "You're lucky to have such a great sister."

"I know," Jaypaw agreed.

"I'm glad we've all been staying up like this," Half Moon went on. "Just the four of us. After what happened with you and Fallen Leaves… I'm glad we've been spending time with her."

Jaypaw stiffened. The past few nights, he, Half Moon, Dove's Wing, and Fish Leap had stayed awake late into the night outside their dens just talking. Jaypaw was happy to, it meant he got to avoid the realm of sleep just a bit longer. He never questioned their reasons, he just thought they wanted the four of them to spend time together. He never wondered why. _They're scared Dove's Wing is going to die._

Half Moon rose and yawned. "I think I'll turn in too. Goodnight Jay's Wing."

Jaypaw suddenly put a paw on hers. "Don't."

Her green eyes met his blue ones looking bewildered. "What?"

"Spend the night with me." He was surprised by the desperation in his voice. He focused his gaze on her eyes. _Green not red… I need to see them when I wake…_

Half Moon took a step back from him. "Did you not hear what your sister literally just told us?"

Jaypaw was confused. Then his mind clicked and his eyes widened. "No! I didn't mean like that. I meant like- I just-"

Half Moon broke into a purr broken with laughter. "I know, I know. You should've seen your face!"

Jaypaw relaxed. "Does that mean you'll spend the night with me?"

Half Moon's laughter died down. "You know I can't. When I'm a sharpclaw, yeah, but not right now."

"Please?" Jaypaw asked pleadingly. He saw Half Moon's eyes soften when she was the look on his face. "I don't want to be alone."

"Are you alright?" Half Moon asked worriedly. "Is this about what I said about Dove's Wing? I'm sure she'll be fine…"

"Please," Jaypaw repeated. "Just one night?"

Half Moon looked hesitant but she slowly nodded, giving in. "Alright. Just one night."

Jaypaw sighed in relief. _I won't be alone tonight._

"I'll have to leave early," Half Moon told him. "We don't want any cat catching us."

"Don't worry, I usually wake up pretty early." Jaypaw grimaced. _Ink guarantees that._

* * *

"You seem cheerful today," Leafpool commented as she sorted through her herbs stores.

"Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good today," Jay's Wing told her as he stretched his stiff muscles. It hurt a bit but he didn't let that stop him. "I actually slept pretty good last night. Weird dreams though."

"Oh? What about?"

Jay's Wing shrugged. "I dunno. Some cats. And badgers I think. I don't really remember too well. Maybe it'll come to me later. That happens sometimes."

Leafpool nodded absentmindedly. She seemed distracted. Jay's Wing decided now would be a good time as any to ask. "Hey, can I go to the fresh-kill pile today?"

Leafpool looked over at him surprised. "Of course. You don't need to ask. You're not confined to the den you know."

"Oh." Jay's Wing felt silly for a moment. "Okay. Well then, see you later."

"You too," Leafpool responded and turned back to the herb stores. Jay's Wing got to his paws slowly. His hind legs were still causing him problems but at least he didn't have to drag them after him like he used to.

Jay's Wing felt the warmth of the sun hit his fur as he stepped out of the medicine den. He breathed in deeply. He'd gotten used to the stuffy smell of herbs but nothing beat the fresh air.

Now. Time to navigate an unfamiliar area blind. Despite being stuck in Jaypaw's body for nearly a moon, Jay's Wing hadn't had the opportunity to learn how. _Sounds hard but it's probably easier than I think it is._

Jay's Wing decided to go at it slowly and rely on his sense of smell to help guide him in the right direction. He loved the smell of the fresh-kill pile ever since Lionpaw showed it to him for the first time. It smelled unlike anything he had ever smelled before.

He used his ears to tell where other cats were. He could hear voices off several taillengths in various directions but no one seemed particularly interested in talking to him and he was thankful for that. He doubted he could handle talking to a strange cat and stumbling blind at the same time.

The camp wasn't huge so he made it to the fresh-kill pile before long. He stopped when the scent grew strong. He felt around with his paws. He didn't want to trip over it or fall into it. That would be embarrassing. And rude.

Jay's Wing's paw hit something and he knew he found it. Focusing his sense of smell, he selected a mouse and grabbed it by the tail. His teeth missed it a few times. He ran his chin down the warm body, trying to get a feel of it, and eventually managed to find the tail. He picked it up and walked a few tail lengths away and settled down to eat.

Jay's Wing bit into the prey, savoring the flavor. He noticed being blind made his tongue taste things better too. Prey was always better when you caught it yourself but this mouse was still pretty great. Especially since it was still pretty fresh.

"Jay's Wing!"

Jay's Wing looked up from his meal. His tail curled in joy. "Foxkit! Icekit!"

The two kits skidded to a halt before him. They kicked up some dust. It didn't get into his food but even if it had, he wouldn't have minded.

"How are you two doing?" Jay's Wing asked. "You didn't get caught did you?"

"No. We're too smart for that," Foxkit boasted.

Jay's Wing purred. "Do you two want to get some food? I've only got this mouse here… We could share but it's pretty small."

"I'll go get something," Icekit said.

"No you won't because I am," Foxkit said.

"Well I'm going to get the best prey!"

"No because I'll find the best piece on the pile!"

* * *

Firestar woke late in the day. Gatherings always made him do that. It usually made him a bit guilty. Being leader meant he got to sleep in. It was a luxury his clanmates didn't share. _Oh well._

Sandstorm was long gone. Presumably on a patrol or something. Normally Firestar would wake up wondering what exactly he was supposed to do with his day since he didn't actually have to go on patrol anymore but not today. He actually had something to do today.

Firestar got to his feet and padded out of his den on the Highledge. The sun rained down from above, hitting his pelt. His pelt lit up like a blaze, blinding anyone who looked his way. If he was still the young cat he used to be, he would shake and let the light make his pelt glow even more but he was too old to be showing off like that.

Firestar looked around the camp. It wasn't sunhigh yet but it was still far past dawn. A lot of his clanmates were already out. The apprentices and their mentors were likely out training, the elders were sunning themselves, the queens were chatting outside the nursery, Rosekit and Toadkit were playing together… Where were Foxkit and Icekit?

The ThunderClan leader glanced around camp a bit until his eyes fell on three cats sitting not far from the fresh-kill pile. Ferncloud's kits were sharing a pigeon and the young grey tom beside them had a mouse. Firestar blinked in surprise. _Jaypaw's out? I haven't seen him out since his accident._

Firestar dropped down and made his way across the camp to where the trio were sharing tongues. Icekit and Foxkit immediately went quiet and looked up at him, awed, but Jaypaw didn't seem to notice his presence.

"Jaypaw," Firestar spoke. Jaypaw jumped and looked around. Firestar withheld a sigh. "Can I speak to you? In private?"

"Sure," Jaypaw said, getting to his paws. He looked to Foxkit and Icekit. "I'll come look for you later if I can, alright?"

"Alright," Foxkit said.

"Bye Jay's Wing!" Icekit waved her tail goodbye before bounding off towards the nursery with her brother.

Firestar tilted his head in confusion. _Jay's Wing? Jaypaw hasn't got his medicine cat name yet… And that's no clan name. How bad is his identity confusion?_ Firestar began looking over the young tom. He still showed signs of injury but that was expected. They didn't look too bad though. Firestar's mind went back to what Blackstar had told him the previous night and his pelt prickled with worry. Firestar beckoned Jaypaw- Jay's Wing- with his tail and took a few steps before realizing he wasn't following. "Um, Jaypaw?"

"Yes?"

"Follow me, will you?"

"Oh right." Jaypaw still didn't move.

"Jaypaw?"

"I'm blinder than a mole," Jaypaw stated. "I can't tell where you are or where you want me to go. Can you, y'know, guide me? Lionpaw usually just walks next to me so I can feel his flank and tell which way he's going but you sound taller than me. Maybe just give me your tail?"

Firestar flinched. Hard. _Jaypaw asking for help? Stating his blindness like that?_ "R-right."

Firestar turned and offered his tail to the apprentice. Jaypaw felt it with his whiskers before clamping his teeth down on it. Firestar winced but Jaypaw was being gentle and it didn't hurt much. "Come on, we're going to my den."

Jaypaw didn't say anything. Firestar ignored the confused stares of his campmates as he lead Jaypaw up the rocks and into his den. Jaypaw seemed to sense they had arrived and let go of his tail and sat down. Firestar sat across from him.

"So who are you anyway?" Jaypaw asked suddenly.

Firestar flinched again. "I… I'm Firestar. Leader of ThunderClan."

"Cool. I'm Jay's Wing. Sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

 _Tribe?_ "That's… interesting," Firestar said slowly.

"Don't worry, I know you don't believe me. So what did you want to talk about?"

Guilt twinged in the orange tom's belly. "I just wanted to see how you're feeling."

"I'm fine. My injuries have been healing well and I don't hurt too much anymore."

"That's good but I meant emotionally. Can I ask how you were injured in the first place?"

Jaypaw- Jay's Wing?- shrugged. "I don't know. I don't really remember it that well. Last night I remembered these three cats but…"

 _Three cats?_ Was Jaypaw attacked? As much as he hated to admit it, Firestar hoped so. That was much better than the alternative.

"There's something you want to ask me about," Jaypaw said when Firestar didn't respond. "I can feel it. Just ask."

Firestar shifted his paws. "Your kithood… Your life now… Was it difficult?"

Jaypaw looked surprised. "I guess. I mean I thought it was but I kinda realized how lucky I was after I ended up in Jaypaw's pelt. I mean, his life is pretty terrible. Losing Falcon Swoop, that was hard. And Falling Rain leaving didn't help but I still had my sister, my best friend, and my love. Jaypaw, he didn't have that."

Firestar blinked. "What?"

Jaypaw laughed nervously. "I've never really talked about this before… It's kind of weird to talk about my feelings and all that. I was happy when I was really young. I don't remember it real well. But being a softpaw was hard, especially since I was alone so much. But I wasn't completely alone, not like Jaypaw. I don't really know much about him but it couldn't have been easy. He dreamed of being a warrior but ended up in that stuffy medicine den. He's only really close with his siblings but even then, it's just because they're littermates. And his parents… At least I have parents. Had parents."

 _What is he meowing about? Why is he talking about Jaypaw like he's a different cat? Did he really hit his head that hard? And what's this about Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight?_ "What do you mean at least you have parents?"

"I mean, everyone who's worried about Jaypaw has visited him but the brown tabby and the dark grey tom haven't visited him."

Firestar could feel his heartbeat in his chest. "Jaypaw, Squirrelflight and Bramblestar are your parents."

Jaypaw looked surprised. "Really? But that tabby… she ran off with that tom. The grey one. His pelt, it looked so nice on the field next to her brown fur. And then they had kits. Jaypaw, Lionpaw, and Hollypaw. The tom wasn't there, that ginger she-cat was. Jaypaw didn't have a father. And I don't think his mother was really there. That must've been hard. And he was blind. The darkness… it's lonely."

Despite his confusion, Firestar found himself putting his muzzle on Jaypaw's head comfortingly. _Oh Jaypaw. What happened to you?_


	13. Where They Belong

In the distance, an owl's cry pierced the silence of the night. Jaypaw rose his head from his nest upon hearing it. He shivered as if the screech foreshadowed what he knew was to come.

Beside him, Half Moon slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of Jaypaw's fear. For a split second, Jaypaw envied her then pushed that thought away. He chose this. He would never wish this upon her but he was glad he chose this path.

Jaypaw lowered his head back to his nest and closed his eyes. He had to sleep. Part of him wanted him to despite his dread for what would happen in his dreams. Ink came every night. Jaypaw never backed down from training but each morning he woke cold with fear. _StarClan, if you're up there, let me sleep through tonight. Just tonight. I want tomorrow to be a good day. Please. If you're there… just keep Ink away for one night._

Jaypaw felt himself drift off to sleep. When he opened his eyes, he saw the familiar forest where shadows lurked behind the treeline and blood stained the dirt floor of the clearing he stood in. Jaypaw sighed and tried not to let his disappointment show or his faith die. Above, the sky was pitch black. No stars shone through the darkness. _StarClan cannot see me here._

Suddenly, the ground shook. Jaypaw gave a yowl of surprise and crouched, flattening his ears against his head as he looked around wildly. _An earthquake? It's just like when I was in the tunnels._

Below his paws, the ground began cracking. Jaypaw abandoned his crouch and began scrambling away and not a heartbeat too late. Just as he made it to the treeline, the earth let out a long groan and the crack began to grow.

Jaypaw's eyes were wide with shock as he watched the ground open up like a mouth. A massive fissure began to form. "What in the name of…"

Jaypaw couldn't complete his thought. Even if he had, he wouldn't have been heard. A soft roar sounded and the opening in the ground began to fill with water.

Jaypaw began creeping back. He felt his tail brush something and he whipped around, startled. He gasped. The trees he had been standing in had turned to stone.

Jaypaw took a few steps back then paused, not knowing where to go. In the clearing was a newly formed river and the forest was replaced by trees of cold, grey rock. The horizon was still dark and the sky was still starless but Jaypaw found no comfort in the familiarity. The world around him had evolved and he didn't like what he saw.

"Hmm. So this is the little Jay Ink has been so adamantly guarding?"

Jaypaw whirled, surprised to hear a voice that wasn't Ink's. The voice was distinctly feminine, nothing like the deep, masculine voice that Ink had.

Above him in the stone treetops stood a she-cat with orange fur as bright as Firestar. Her blue eyes were the color of the sky and were brimming with wisdom. She watched Jaypaw from her perch like a hawk, a hunger radiating from her. Jaypaw shivered.

"Doesn't look like much," another voice said. Jaypaw looked over his shoulder to see that a chunk of earth had appeared in the river. On it sat a beautiful blue grey she-cat. She was grooming but she paused in her licking and looked over at the gaping apprentice. Her sharp yellow eyes seemed to see right through him.

"W-who are you?" Jaypaw stuttered.

The orange she-cat dropped down from the tree, landing soundlessly beside him. She purred and ran her tail over his flank. Jaypaw shifted his paws in discomfort. She circled him, touching him with her tail as she pleased all the way around.

"I'm called Avian," the orange she-cat said when she came to a stop. Jaypaw flinched under her gaze. _Her eyes. They're so… so contrasive. Like Ink's… I mean they're yellow and not as… they don't have the same malice Ink has but still._ Avian flicked her tail over Jaypaw one last time before sweeping over the trunk of one of the stone trees. She looked at the trees longingly. "Aren't they pretty?"

Jaypaw shifted his gaze to the forest. The trees were all grey and hard like a cliffside. Even the leaves were petrified. He was used to the leaves blowing in the wind but these were as still as… well, stone.

"Well?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "I guess. I like seeing the green stuff but these do look pretty cool."

Avian broke into a purr again and ran her tail down the side of Jaypaw's face. The fur felt strange on his cheek. Jaypaw flinched, not liking the contact.

"Oh stop being so invasive," the other voice said. The blue grey she-cat jumped off a large flat stone floating in the river and padded over. She walked with an elegance Jaypaw had never seen before. "I'm called Jackal. Do you really think these atrocities are prettier than the river I made? It's so much more natural than these… things."

"Now now Jackal, splitting the ground open isn't exactly natural," Avian said with a light, teasing tone. Her yellow eyes flashed.

"More natural than your concrete," Jackal retorted.

"What are you two doing here?" a foreign voice said.

"Ink!" Jaypaw cried out and darted over to the massive white tom's side. A blood red gaze washed over him but Jaypaw ignored it. The alternative was weird. Blue was flirty in a way he didn't like and yellow had an aura of superiority that annoyed him.

Avian pouted. "Here to ruin our fun, Ink?"

"Hey, don't group me with the likes of you," Jackal said. "You were the only one trying to have any fun."

"You two shouldn't be here," Ink said sharply. He shouldered Jaypaw behind him and put a paw in front of him protectively. "Jay's mine."

"Oh? And who says that?"

"Deal's a deal," Ink grunted. "They make it through Day One or Two, they live free. Make it through Day Three I get them. Whoever dies on our day we get."

"But you're the only one who ever gets the living ones," Avian complained.

"Which hardly ever happens," Ink responded. "Besides, Jackal got one just two moons ago."

"And what a fun one he is," Jackal said sarcastically. "Any one who dies in a flood or an earthquake is a weakling."

Jaypaw's gaze flicked between the trio with fear. He didn't understand what they were talking about but it shook him to the core. _They're talking about death so casually._

"We want some living," Avian said firmly, dropping her flitty facade.

"Well you're not getting this one," Ink responded, matching her tone. "This one… He's special. My tribe's power burns stronger in him than any cat I've ever seen."

"Yet he lives in my tribe," Jackal said.

"It was my day he nearly broke," Avian added.

"He has no connection to your tribe."

"But I got the closest to claiming him," Avian pointed out. "You barely did anything. My concrete, monsters, and dogs are better than your claws and ghosts any day."

Jaypaw stared at her stunned. _The three of them are from different tribes? Why haven't I heard of them? Are they like clans? And what does she mean by claiming me? What is all this?_

"Jay."

"Yes?" Jaypaw looked up at Ink. The tom was still standing in front of him and didn't turn when he spoke.

"Leave."

"Really?"

"Go!" Ink commanded in a booming voice. Jaypaw flinched and ran off before he even saw Ink's wave for him to leave. He didn't need to be told twice. He hated this place.

"Get back here!"

"Don't let him get away!"

Behind him, Jaypaw heard a feral hiss and the sound of class tearing pelt. He didn't have to look over his shoulder to know a fight had broken out. Around him, the stone trees melted back into their usual shadowy state but he paid them no mind. He just wanted out of there.

* * *

"Leafpool?" The scent of herbs hit Firestar like a tidal wave as he stuck his head into his daughter's den. He withheld from grimacing. _By StarClan, how can she stand this stink? It smells like someone loaded a skunk with plants and sent it to mark the borders._

"Firestar," Leafpool greeted as he turned away from her herb stores. "What brings you here?"

"Jaypaw."

Leafpool's eyes widened and darted around the den. "Where is he?"

"Don't worry, he's just outside," Firestar soothed. Leafpool visibly relaxed. _What's got her so worked up?_ "I just had a talk with him."

"Oh?"

"Why so surprised?"

"He's been… He's had a hard time opening up," she answered decisively.

Now it was Firestar's turn to be surprised. "Really? He seemed perfectly fine talking with me. He's playing with Icekit and Foxkit by the nursery right now."

Leafpool curled her tail around her paws as she sat down in front of her father. "That's odd. Did he say anything… strange?"

Firestar blinked. _That's an understatement if I've ever heard one._ "He… How hard did he hit his head?"

Leafpool made a sound of amusement. "I don't know. It was that bad?'

"Everything he said was just incoherent," Firestar told her. "He said his name was Jay's Wing. When I asked how he was feeling, he started comparing his life to Jaypaw's."

Leafpool nodded. "He seems to think he's a different cat. I've just been calling him Jay. He still seems to associate himself with that name."

"It was more than that that got me," Firestar went on. "At the Gathering, I spoke with the other leaders briefly. Blackstar said something concerning. It got me worried."

"When has Blackstar ever shown interest in the other clans?"

Firestar snorted. "I was surprised too. But he brought up something interesting. He mentioned a… problem that some cats have."

"Problem?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. I don't understand it all that well myself," Firestar said slowly. "But he seemed to think that Jaypaw was unhappy with his life. When I asked him about it, he compared himself to Jaypaw like I said but he said such strange things."

"What do you mean?"

"He went off about how lonely Jaypaw was and how his blindness ruined any hope he had of following his dreams," Firestar said bluntly. "And he said something about some problems with his family."

"Jay's Wing's or Jaypaw's? He seems to have built up some backstory for this Jay's Wing character."

"Well, both," Firestar told her. "But I was talking about Jaypaw."

"What'd he say?"

"Well he talked about Lionpaw and Hollypaw obviously but that wasn't the strange thing. He seemed to think that Jaypaw didn't have any parents."

"What? Did you tell him about Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw? They've visited him plenty of times. I'm sure he's able to recognize him."

"Of course I did. It confused him though. He said that his parents were a…" Firestar trailed off. _A brown tabby and a grey tom…_ Realization struck him. _Oh StarClan, how could I have been so blind?_

"He said his parents were what?"

"A brown tabby and a grey tom," Firestar said, his voice barely more than a whisper. He closed his brilliant green eyes so he couldn't see the horror come crashing down on his daughter's face. "Leafpool… It isn't true, is it?"

He didn't open his eyes. He couldn't tell if she nodded or shook her head.

"I remember the day I met Jaypaw, Hollypaw, and Lionpaw," Firestar said looking down. "They came bouncing into camp after you and Squirrelflight. Brambleclaw was so surprised but he looked so happy. Squirrelflight too. I got so caught up in watching the kits meet Brambleclaw that I didn't look at you. I remember how Squirrelflight's milk never came, how she had to give them to Ferncloud to nurse. And I remember how worried you were."

"I was," Leafpool said, her voice cracking. "They were so small."

"So they're yours?" Firestar asked looking up. Leafpool nodded meekly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Brief anger flashed in her eyes. "I'm a medicine cat! And I fell in love with a cat from another clan. I broke the Warrior Code by running off with Crowfeather but there was no way for any cat to know I broke the medicine cat code until I kitted. I love my kits, I couldn't let them have that life, knowing they were the reason their mother lost her life as a medicine cat. And Cinderheart had just died, there was no cat to replace me if I was stripped of my rank. And Crowfeather… I loved him, I still do. If I had those kits, everyone would know they were his. What would that be like for him? He would have to live with a clan who hated him more than they already do and live knowing he had kits in another clan. If they let him stay that is. He could never join ThunderClan and if my kits knew he was out there, they'd want to be with their father and eventually there would be nothing I could do to keep them from leaving and trying to find him. I don't regret giving my kits to Squirrelflight. Of course I wish I could be a mother but this was for the best."

Firestar took a step back, astonished at her emotional outburst. A pyre blazed in her eyes that Firestar had never seen before. Squirrelflight was usually the fiery one, not Leafpool. Squirrelflight's spirit burned brightly like her pelt and Leafpool's spirit matched her name. She was as calm as a leaf floating on the water.

Firestar moved forward and rested his muzzle on his daughter's forehead. She remained stiff, not wanting to accept the comforting gesture. He ran his tail on her shoulder and she eventually gaze in. He lifted his head and lapped at her ear. "Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to them. Everything will be just fine."

* * *

Jaypaw woke with a start. He looked around his den wildly as the adrenaline hit his waking form. He glanced over at Half Moon, her peaceful form calming him. _It was only a dream. A good one at that, comparatively. I'm fine. Everything's fine._

Then he remembered what day it was and his heart sank. He lowered his head and closed his eyes again. _Maybe if I go back to sleep today will never come. Who said it was morning? It could be the middle of the night for all I know. Maybe today is tomorrow._

Jaypaw felt Half Moon shift beside him and he knew any hope of it not being today was gone. He felt her gently lick his cheek as she rose. "Come on Jay's Wing. Time to get up."

Jaypaw faked grogginess, squirming in his nest before lifting his head, blinking bleary eyes. His blue eyes met Half Moon's green ones. Her eyes reflected the sadness in his own. "Today's the day."

"Yup," Half Moon stated grimly. "Come on, let's go surprise your sister with some fresh-kill."

* * *

When Dove's Wing opened her eyes, her body was immediately filled with a buzzing excitement. _Today's the day!_

She sprang out of her nest and darted out of her den carved into the cave wall. She went straight for Fish Leap's den beside her own. "Wake up lazy bones! Today's the day!"

Fish Leap responded with a tired groan but popped his brown head out of his nest. His ears stuck up oddly and his fur was spiked in places. Dove's Wing laughed and lashed her tail behind her in amusement. "Come on. Today's the day."

Fish Leap's tiredness left him in an instant and he was suddenly at Dove's Wing's side. His amber eyes glowed his worry. "You don't have to do this you know."

Dove's Wing scoffed. "What would you say if I told you that on the day of your own trial?"

"Good point," Fish Leap said and began making his way to the main part of the cave that the tribe lived in. Dove's Wing fell in step beside him. "Nothing I can say will stop you, huh?"

"Nope," Dove's Wing said good naturedly. "Stop worrying. I'll be fine. When you next see me, I'll be a sharpclaw."

"I'm sure you will," Fish Leap said softly, his eyes still brimming with worry but there was affection mixed in there with it. He leaned over and pressed his muzzle against his shoulder. "I'm sure you'll be just fine."

"Hey you two!"

Dove's Wing and Fish Leap looked up to see Jay's Wing and Half Moon waiting for them in the main part of the cave. A few pieces of prey lay in front of them. Beside them were a few bundles of herbs.

"Woah, how long ago did you two get up?" Fish Leap said eyeing the prey. "You didn't have to."

Half Moon waved him off. "This is the last meal we'll have- This is the last meal we'll have before Dove's Wing is a sharpclaw."

Dove's Wing sensed the unspoken words regarding her death looming in the air but no one voiced them. She purred. "Thanks you two. Really."

"The prey was all Half Moon," Jay's Wing grunted.

"But you brought the herbs, didn't you?" Dove's Wing poked one of the bundles with a forepaw. It pretty much just looked like a leaf wrapped around a clump of something but she knew better than to underestimate the power of herbs.

Jay's Wing nodded sheepishly. "It's not much but hopefully it's enough… You should probably eat first. They're pretty nasty. Just make sure not to eat too much."

"Will do," Dove's Wing said with a nod and settled down. She waved for her friends to join her around the small pile of fresh-kill. She selected a squirrel for herself and watched the others each pick a piece before digging in. The squirrel was still fresh and warm blood hit her tongue when she sank her teeth into its flesh. She savored the rich flavor, pausing a moment to let it seep in. _This could be my last meal…_ She shook those thoughts from her head. _I can't think like that. Negative thoughts are the first step of failure. I_ will _be a sharpclaw. When dawn comes tomorrow, I will walk out of those tunnels and see my friends once more._

"I see you're getting ready," a voice said. Dove's Wing looked up from her food to see a dark ginger tom standing over the group.

Dove's Wing dipped her head in respect. "Furled Bracken."

The tribe's leader's gaze swept over the herbs. He took a sniff. "Hmm. Chamomile? Good choice."

Jay's Wing shuffled his paws. "It's used to soothe the heart and it keeps the mind calm."

"Gives strength for traveling too," Furled Bracken noted. "Wise choice taking it before entering the Rite of Passage. Are you ready Dove's Wing? Dawn is nearing."

Dove's Wing took one last bite of her squirrel then moved towards the herbs. "Let me just take the herbs first."

"Stretch before you go and let your food settle a bit," Jay's Wing suggested. "You don't want to get a cramp while you run."

Dove's Wing nodded as she took the bundle of herbs in her jaws. Unsure how to take them, she ripped it open with her teeth, took a bite, and gulped it down. She coughed and nearly vomited. "That's bitter."

"I warned you, didn't I?"

Dove's Wing flicked her ear in her brother's direction and took another bite of the herbs, slower this time but the swallowed it quickly.

When she finished, Half Moon began guiding her through a few stretches. Fish Leap nosed Jay's Wing off to the side and the two quietly began discussing something. _Probably me._

Slowly, the rest of the tribe began to trickle out of their dens into the main area of the cave. Dawn had arrived. Furled Bracken threw his head back and yowled. "All cats of this tribe gather around! It is time to see our softpaw Dove's Wing off to her trial. Today she enters the Rite of Passage and tomorrow she emerges a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water!"


	14. Dreams

The Rite of Passage was not what Dove's Wing thought it would be. She didn't really have a vision of what she thought it would be but it certainly wasn't this. Endless tunnels of stone and dirt. She had expected more but she was glad there wasn't.

Dove's Wing was exhausted. She didn't know how long she had been running but her adrenaline had run out and now she was just wandering aimlessly. And it didn't help that she could hear a mysterious roaring in the distance. That scared her into running harder and now she was too tired to do much of anything. _I need to rest._

Dove's Wing collapsed in her pawsteps despite a small voice screaming in her head not to. _No! You can't rest. You have to keep moving!_ Dove's Wing blinked tiredly, too exhausted to argue with herself. _Shut up. It won't hurt to close my eyes for just a few heartbeats._

Dove's Wing lay her head down on her paws and closed her eyes, oblivious to the roaring of the oncoming river in the distance and the three spirits eyeing her sleeping form greedily.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?"

"Yes."

"You keep saying that but-"

"For the star cats sake just go Leafpool!" Jay's Wing snapped, startling the ThunderClan medicine cat. "You missed the last Moonpool thing. I swear I'm fine. Besides, I'm not alone this time. If anything's wrong, I can go talk to Lionpaw or Hollypaw or Foxkit or Icekit or Firestar or anycat really! Seriously, just go."

Leafpool blinked at grey tom sitting up in his nest, blind eyes boring into her. It was truly intimidating, even if he was half her size. "Are you-?"

"Don't you dare ask if I'm sure!" Jay's Wing said sharply, getting out of his nest. His tail waved wildly behind him as he walked towards her with confidence and precision in his steps. "Now listen to me. You. Will. Go. To. The. Moonpool."

"But-"

"No buts!" Jay's Wing interrupted. "Icekit told me this Moonpool thing is super important so you have to go. You're worrying about me way too much, Leafpool. Just go. I'll be fine."

Leafpool blinked at him. "When did you get so bossy?"

"Since you started annoying me,"Jay's Wing snorted. "I don't like yelling at you anymore than you do. I really don't care if you go to the Moonpool or not, I really don't know what it is, but I do know you've been fussing over me way too much and it's about time you had a night to yourself. And don't say you went to the Gathering! That doesn't count."

"Why not?"

"It just doesn't. I don't really know what the Gathering is either is either so I don't really have a good reason but don't argue with me. Just go to your thing."

"Fine," Leafpool sighed. "Are you-?"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"Geez, you don't have to get your pelt in a bunch," Leafpool grumbled. Jay's Wing had gotten… louder. Mostly when he wanted her to do something but louder nonetheless. _Those kits are a bad influence on him._

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Get going!" Jay's Wing waved his tail at the door. "It's sunset! You're Moonpool thing happens at moonhigh right? You have to get going."

"It's actually sunhigh right now."

"Oh." Jay's Wing grew quiet. He ducked and licked his chest fur. "This is embarrassing. You are going, right?"

"Are you sure that-?"

"Oh for the star cat's sake. Yes!"

* * *

"Dove's Wing."

Dove's Wing was lying on the floor of a tunnel, eyes closed. She did not stir.

"Dove's Wing."

The she-cat suppressed a shiver as a chill passed over her. She felt a paw poke her flank.

"Dove's Wing. Get up."

Dove's Wing blinked her eyes open slowly. Worry washed over her. _How long was I asleep?_

"Don't be alarmed. This is a dream."

Dove's Wing leaped to her paws and whirled around, looking for the source of the voice. She gasped as her eyes fell upon a familiar ginger and white pelt. A pelt that she never thought she'd see again. "Fallen Leaves!"

"Dove's Wing!" Fallen Leaves purred, his green eyes shining with joy. "I never thought I'd see you again!"

"I never thought I'd see you again either!" Dove's Wing exclaimed as she rushed forward, pressing her head against his shoulder. "How is this possible? I thought you died."

Fallen Leaves stepped away from her, looking down sadly. "I am dead. Like I said, this is a dream."

"Oh," Dove's Wing said a bit dejectedly but she brightened again in a moment. "It's still good to see you."

Fallen Leaves nodded. "Listen, I messed up Dove's Wing."

"What? What'd you do?"

"After I died, I just felt so lost. So alone," Fallen Leaves said. "And then when Jay's Wing came down… I tried to get him to take me home but I just ended up sending him away."

"What? What do you mean?" Dove's Wing asked. "Jay's Wing is with the tribe. He's-"

"No," Fallen Leaves stated boldly. "That's not Jay's Wing."

"What?"

"That's not Jay's Wing," Fallen Leaves said. "That's… that's… Look, maybe it'll be easier if I just show you."

"What do you mean show me?" Dove's Wing questioned.

Fallen Leaves rose his muzzle and took a step towards her before resting it on her head. "Just relax and all will become clear."

* * *

"We're wasting moonlight," a gruff, aged voice barked.

"Let's just wait a little longer," a lighter voice responded. "She still might show up."

"Let's not get our hopes up," a third voice said.

"Are you waiting on me?" Leafpool questioned as she padded onto the ridge where the medicine cats met. Kestrelpaw and Willowpaw brightened at the sight of her and bounded over.

"Is Jaypaw with you?" Willowpaw asked immediately.

Leafpool shook her head. "No but don't worry, he's fine. He was quite adamant about me coming tonight."

"Good," Barkface said. "You missed last half moon. StarClan may have something to share with you."

"If they had anything important to tell me, they would just visit me in a normal dream," Leafpool responded but her paws still twitched with anticipation. Jaypaw was healing but she still wanted to know if she could do anything more. He still thought he was another cat.

"Let's go," Littlecloud said, already several taillengths up the ridge. "The sooner we get moving the sooner we can get dreaming."

Leafpool and the others got off their haunches and began trailing after the small medicine cat. Leafpool felt her breath shorten and her mind grow fuzzy but she powered through it and just focused on putting one paw in front of the other. _Why am I so nervous? It's not like I've never visited the Moonpool and I know they can't tell me anything too terrible._

Leafpool felt a tail tip on her shoulder. She glanced over and saw Mothwing smiling reassuringly. Leafpool relaxed slightly in her friend's presence and stepped into the cave leading to the Moonpool.

Soon enough her eyes fell upon the clear, shining water. It was just as beautiful as the day she discovered it. The water was still as per usual and the moon's rays seemed to illuminate it in the darkness of the night.

"Good luck," Barkface murmured to her before settling down at the water's side and plunging his muzzle in. Within a heartbeat, his breathing slowed to the steady rhythm of sleep.

Leafpool curled her tail around herself as she settled down as her comrade had. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and inhaled deeply, soothing her nerves, before lowering her muzzle and lapping the pristine water.

The moment the cool touch of the water hit her, Leafpool found herself standing in a field thick with a haze that covered the horizon. She could see the outline of trees in it but they weren't close. _Where am I…?_

"This is a corner of Silverpelt that we usually don't bring you medicine cats but I figured this was a special occasion," a voice rasped.

Leafpool whirled around. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Yellowfang!"

"Who were you expecting?" the she-cat responded.

Leafpool felt her pelt flush in embarrassment. "Spottedleaf."

"Spottedleaf knows herbs and medicine. I know StarClan," Yellowfang said. She flicked her tail. "You have questions?"

"Y-yes," Leafpool stuttered. "It's Jaypaw. He-"

Yellowfang waved her tail, silencing her. "I'm going to stop you right there."

Leafpool tilted her head in confusion. Yellowfang seemed to take it as a prompt to speak.

"That cat in your camp, that isn't Jaypaw," Yellowfang told her firmly.

"W-what?" _Not Jaypaw?_

"That cat, his name is Jay's Wing," Yellowfang told her. "He's… not from around here."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't tell you everything and honestly I don't want to. It's something I can't exactly explain but what's important is that Jay's Wing doesn't belong here. He needs to go home," Yellowfang explained. "And Jaypaw needs to come home. Actually, he needs more than that but coming home is the first step. Got that?"

"What are you talking about?"

Yellowfang sighed. "I don't like repeating myself. That cat in your camp isn't Jaypaw and you need to figure out how to get him home and your apprentice back."

"How?"

"I'll leave that to you."

Leafpool's vision began fading. _I'm waking up._ "Wait!"

Her cry seemed to fall on deaf ears. Yellowfang watched her fade for a moment before whisking away and padding off back to StarClan's hunting grounds.

Leafpool gasped as her head shot up in the waking world. Beside her, Barkface began to stir awake. Leafpool stumbled back. The sounds around her were muffled and unclear, her breathing rapid. _Am I in shock?_ She shook her head and dismissed the thought until she stumbled.

"Hey, careful," Mothwing said coming to her side. She gently pushed her into a seating position. "Are you alright?"

Leafpool stared at her friend, her brain working so slow that it took a moment to recognize her. "I don't know. I really don't know."

* * *

 _"Jay's Wing? Jay's Wing! Is that you?"_

 _"What are you? Get away!" a grey tom hissed. His pelt was muddied and caked in dried blood. He lept back, pelt bristling. His blue eyes darted behind him, clearly fearful of whatever lay deeper in the tunnels._

 _"Jay's Wing, it's me. Fallen Leaves."_

 _The grey tom glared. "No. You're just another one of the spirits that attacked me on the Second Day. Fallen Leaves died down here and I will too if I don't leave now."_

 _"Wait!"_

 _The wail didn't stop the grey tom from darting forward. The spirit of a cat moved chased after him but the grey tom didn't stop. Rumbles sounded from the tunnels behind him making him run faster._

 _The spirit cat sped up and was suddenly in front of the grey tom. He stood crouched, a battle stance. The grey tom skidded to a halt._

 _"Leave me alone!" the grey tom roared. "It's been three days and I've survived all three trials! I'm on the last stretch, please just let me leave in peace."_

 _"No!" The spirit cat matched his volume. "You cannot leave me here alone. It's so dark and cold down here. I need you with me. I'm so lonely. I will never be lonely again!"_

 _The spirit cat lunged, ghostly claws raking down the grey tom's pelt. He yowled, fresh blood staining his fur and splattering on the walls. He reared up and swatted the spirit cat's face, targeting the eyes. "Let me go!"_

 _"No! You need to stay with me!" the spirit cat screamed. His claws extended and buried themselves deeper into the grey tom's pelt. The grey tom tried to get away but the spirit cat maneuvered so he was on top of him, pinning him down. The grey tom hissed and dug into the ground with his claws, trying to drag himself forward._

 _"I'm so close! Please, just let me go home," the grey tom begged. "I passed all three days of trial. Please…"_

 _"I don't care! Just stay with me!" the spirit cat cried._

 _"I need to go! Half Moon, Dove's Wing, Fish Leap, they're waiting for me." With one final motion, Jay's Wing wretched himself free of Fallen Leaves's grasp. The sound of fur tearing echoed in the tunnels. Jay's Wing yowled in pain and stumbled a few steps before collapsing._

 _Fallen Leaves fell as the weight under him disappeared. He stared at his friend's fallen form then looked down at his paws. His ghostly form seemed to be… leaking. Traces of it laced the wounds he left on Jay's Wing's pelt._

 _Ghostly power leaked from Jay's Wing's body as a cat shaped spirit began to form. It stretched up towards the sky, passing through layers and layers of earth that trapped its physical form underground._

 _A second wisp came down from above, striking Jay's Wing's body like lightning. He jerked as if in pain before growing limp. Fallen Leaves padded over hesitant to check if his friend was alive._

 _Fallen Leaves lowered his muzzle. He could feel Jay's Wing's flank moving with each breath. Fallen Leaves let out a sigh of relief. He had not killed his friend in his emotional outbreak._

 _He then stiffened as a scent caught his nose. The scent wasn't on the same realm as the smell of dirt and water around them. No, it was the senses he gained after death that allowed him to pick up the scent. He lowered his nose once again, confirming Jay's Wing as the source. Or rather, Jaypaw._

 _Fallen Leaves leaned back as his eyes widened in horror. "What have I done?"_

Dove's Wing gasped as her head jerked back, her mind snapping away form the stream of memories Fallen Leaves pushed into her mind. Images of running through the tunnels, fleeing from the water, being chased by something- Spirits? Monsters? Dogs?- and feeling flashes of fear ravaged her mind. Dove's Wing collapsed, her body feeling damp and stressed as she panted to recover from whatever she just experienced.

She felt lapping on her head. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't know how else to tell you what I did."

Dove's Wing reached out with a paw and put it over Fallen Leaves's. "Don't worry. I understand. Being down there for so long, all alone… I would have snapped too."

"You wouldn't have attacked Jay's Wing," Fallen Leaves said sadly. He twitched. "I must go now. I trust you know what you must do?"

Dove's Wing nodded, watching her friend's ghostly form begin to fade as if smoke from a fire blown out by the wind. "Goodbye Fallen Leaves."

"Goodbye Dove's Wing," Fallen Leaves said.

And in a moment, Dove's Wing found herself back on the tunnel floor waking up. She blinked tiredly. The roar of water was gone and her tired eyes saw light trickling towards her from ahead. _Fallen Leaves… Thank you._ Somehow in her sleep she had reached the end of the Rite of Passage. She could go home now and she was sure that she had Fallen Leaves to thank.

Dove's Wing pushed herself to her paws, muscles stiff. She ambled forward, steps broken but steady. The ground began to ascend and she soon felt the ground beneath her paws break from dirt to grass and the sunlight strike her, blinding her for a moment. _I made it…_

"Dove's Wing!" a joyous yowl caught her attention.

The sunlight leaving her eyes, Dove's Wing saw three forms bounding towards her. Fish Leap lead them, almost tackling her to the ground. He broke into a loud purr, eyes shining. "You're alive!"

"Was there ever any doubt?" Dove's Wing responded cocklily but she too was purring, rubbing her head against Fish Leap's. After feeling Fallen Leaves's loneliness, she wanted nothing more than to be with her friends.

Half Moon and Jay's Wing joined them in a moment. Half Moon lapped her ear. "I'm so glad to see you!"

"You're a sharpclaw now, sis!" Jay's Wing said happily. "Falling Rain and Falcon Swoop would be so proud of you right now."

Dove's Wing stiffened when her eyes fell on her brother. Or not her brother. _Jaypaw._

Jay's Wing tilted his head in confusion. "Are you alright?"

Dove's Wing forced herself to break into another purr. "Yeah. I just can't believe we're both sharpclaws after all this time."

Jaypaw's tail waved excitedly behind him. "Me neither. Come on, let's get back home so Furled Bracken can make it official and you can take a nice long nap in your new nest!"


	15. The Right Name

"Dove's Wing, please step forward," Furled Bracken said in a booming voice that echoed in the tribe's cave. Despite everything on her mind, Dove's Wing felt excitement rise up in her chest. _I'm finally going to be a sharpclaw!_

"Yesterday at dawn you left our home a softpaw. Today at dawn you returned a sharpclaw," Furled Bracken announced. "Thank the stars that you were not lost like your friend Fallen Leaves or trapped in the Rite of Passage like your brother Jay's Wing."

Dove's Wing dipped her head. _I almost was. Fallen Leaves, if you can hear me, thank you._

It suddenly occurred to her that Fallen Leaves had not become one of the stars when he died but Furled Bracken spoke again before she could dwell on it.

"As of this day, you will have your own den among our tribe's sharpclaws. You are not required to share prey and you are allowed to take a mate and have kits who will hopefully become sharpclaws when they reach your age," Furled Bracken continued. "You will fight for your home if danger ever comes and you may leave without telling a superior. This also means you may visit the Starpool to commune with our ancestors which I highly suggest. You can also speak with your peers about your trial. Dove's Wing."

"Yes." Dove's Wing stood alert.

"As of this day, you are a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

"Thank you," Dove's Wing breathed. "This is an honor."

Around her, her tribemates yowled in congratulations. Fish Leap darted up to her with an excited gleam in his eyes. "I still can't believe your a sharpclaw!"

"Believe it," Dove's Wing said, "because you'll be one too soon enough."

"Right," Fish Leap said sitting back on his haunches with his tail lashing behind him happily. "I can't wait. When we're all sharpclaws-"

"Let her be, Fish Leap," Half Moon scolded. "She's just spent a day in the tunnels. She needs to rest."

"Come on," Jay's Wing said. Dove's Wing jumped. She hadn't sensed him approach. "Let's get you a nest."

"R-right," Dove's Wing stuttered getting to her paws to follow her brother. _Not my brother,_ she reminded herself. _But he looks so much like Jay's Wing._ Dove's Wing flicked her tail goodbye to her friends and trotted after the grey tom.

"There's a free spot in the wall next to my den," Jay's Wing said. "You can make your nest there but it'll take awhile to gather up moss. Would you like to just sleep in my den? Not forever of course. Once Half Moon becomes a sharpclaw I'm going to ask her to share my den and I'm sure you'd like to do the same with Fish Leap."

"J-Jay's Wing!" Dove's Wing spluttered. Her pelt grew hot with embarrassment. _How did he know?_

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"Yes," Dove's Wing admitted, her pelt flushing.

"Come on, let's add some moss for you," Jay's Wing said padding towards the cave entrance. "I don't want you hogging all of it!"

* * *

Leafpool's mind whirled as she entered the camp. It was a little after dawn. Patrols were already out and the elders were already sunning themselves by the Highrock. She scanned the camp for Jay's Wing. _I can't believe this is happening._

She spotted him by the nursery playing with Foxkit and Icekit. He was batting a moss ball around, letting them chase after it and destroy it with their tiny claws. He looked happy. _Far happier than I've ever seen Jaypaw._

Leafpool took a breath and crossed camp. "Jay's Wing."

Jay's Wing looked surprised at the sound of his name. "Leafpool?"

"I'm sorry!" Leafpool blurted out, not caring that others were nearby. "I'm sorry that I kept saying that your confusion was just a head injury and I'm sorry that I didn't believe you."

"It's about time you believed him!" To Leafpool's surprise, it was Foxkit who spoke. He and Icekit had abandon their game and were sitting attentively next to Jay's Wing. "Did it really take you this long to realize that this isn't Jaypaw?"

Leafpool blinked. _A kit figured it out before I did?_ "You knew?"

"We're not stupid," Icekit stated bluntly.

Leafpool ducked her head in shame. "I'm sorry Jay's Wing but I'm glad you had someone to talk with while I ignored you."

"Don't worry about it," Jay's Wing sighed. "It's a pretty unbelievable story. I don't know how I got here in Jaypaw's body. I doubt anyone would believe me."

"But Foxkit and Icekit did," Leafpool argued. "I didn't even realize you were a different cat and I'm Jaypaw's kin and mentor and I've spent so much time around you. I should have-"

"Calm down," Jay's Wing soothed, getting to his paws. He rested his tail tip on her shoulder. "There was no way for you to know, nothing you could have done differently. It's in the past, forget it. Please, just call me by the right name from now on. That's all I want."

Leafpool blinked. "I might be able to do better than that."

"What?"

"Jay's Wing, I promise I will do everything in my power to get you home," Leafpool announced boldly.

* * *

"Honestly, we really should have just spent the time you were gone looking for moss," Jay's Wing was babbling as he shuffled the moss around in the nest with his paws. He was quite terrible at making nests but Dove's Wing wasn't thinking about that. "When Half Moon and Fish Leap have their trials, remind me to go moss hunting while they're gone."

"Will do," Dove's Wing purred tiredly. "I think this is good enough."

"Are you sure?" Jay's Wing asked.

"Yes. If I remember right, when you came back from your trial, you wanted to sleep on the floor. I can sleep on a messy nest."

"I was out for two days longer than you," Jay's Wing reminded.

"Whatever," Dove's Wing grumbled, plopping herself down on the nest.

Jay's Wing settled down next to each her. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm alive, aren't I?"

"You seem troubled."

"I guess." Dove's Wing shrugged.

"Anything I can help with?"

"Maybe," Dove's Wing said, "Jaypaw."

Jaypaw stiffened beside her. "Where did you hear that name?"

"I met Fallen Leaves down in the tunnels. He showed me how you got here," Dove's Wing explained. She paused. "I think he can get you back home."

"...No."

"What?" Dove's Wing questioned in shock.

"No," Jaypaw repeated.

"What do you mean no?"

"I'm not going back to my clan."

"What? Why? If I got separated from the tribe, I'd be doing everything I could to get back."

"I would too," Jaypaw said quietly.

"What? I thought you just said-"

"I would return to the tribe, not my clan," Jaypaw said. He went silent for a moment. "Here I have everything I've ever wanted. I've dreamed of a life like this since kithood and now that I have it, I don't want to leave."

Dove's Wing lifted her head off her paws and looked over at him, head tilted in confusion. "Is your clan that bad?"

"...No. I guess not. Everyone else loves their life in the clan."

"Just not you?"

"Yeah." Jaypaw swallowed. "You see, there are four clans. Actually five but I'm not supposed to know about that. Each clan is made up of warriors bound by the warrior code to protect their clans."

"Sounds honorable."

"It is. But I was never allowed to follow the path of a warrior."

"Why?"

Jaypaw turned his head, their gazes locking. "I'm blind."

Dove's Wing blinked in surprise. It was all making sense now. Why Jaypaw couldn't hunt, why he always got hurt after a fight. He'd never learned how to any of that. That was why he badgered Lapping Wave so much to teach him how to fight despite already having lessons from his tutor and passing the Rite of Passage.

"So… What did you do?" Dove's Wing asked. "Did you have to leave your clan and become a kittypet?"

Jaypaw shook his head. "No. The clans work a bit different. We all share prey so I never starved but everyone still has a role. I became a medicine cat. It was the only way I could still serve my clan."

So that was how he knew what herbs to give her before the trial. "If you were a medicine cat, doesn't that mean you cared for your clan?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "I guess. But I never wanted to be a medicine cat. We already had one anyway."

"And it was your job to replace him?"

"Her," Jaypaw corrected. "And yes."

"Then shouldn't you try to return to your clan? You're still needed."

"No, I'm not," Jaypaw stated. His eyes narrowed as he looked down at his paws. "Part of me has always hated my clan. I don't owe them my service."

Dove's Wing blinked. She couldn't imagine hating her tribe.

"All I wanted was to protect my clan and they stuck me in a stuffy old medicine den," Jaypaw said bitterly. "But here, I can finally be a warrior. I can hunt and fight to protect my clan."

"But this isn't your clan," Dove's Wing reminded softly.

"But I love this tribe more than I ever loved my clan," Jaypaw said. He looked at her. "You're a better sister than mine has ever been and Fish Leap is more like a brother than my own. And there's no cat like Half Moon back with my clan. Did you know medicine cats can't take mates?"

Dove's Wing blinked in surprise. She felt a flash of understanding. _A life away from warriors and without a mate? That must be so lonely._

"I guess I do care about my clan," Jaypaw went on. "But I can care about it from a distance. Some higher power brought me here for a reason and I'm not complaining. I love the Tribe of Still Water. I want to grow old here, with all of you."

"You will die here," Dove's Wing told him softly. "Can you live without seeing your clan ever again? You said you had a brother and sister. Don't you want to see them again?"

Jaypaw hesitated. "You're my sister now. And Fish Leap is my brother in all but blood."

"But-"

"Just go to sleep, Dove's Wing," Jaypaw said. He put his head down on his paws. "You must be tired. We can talk about this in the morning."

Dove's Wing sighed and lowered her head. "Alright."

* * *

When Leafpool blinked her eyes open, she was surrounded by earth. It surprised her at first but she soon realized she was dreaming. How else would she end up in a place like this?

The was in some sort of underground cave or tunnel. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all made of tightly packed dirt. All she could see was brown.

A moment later she noticed a she-cat standing beside her. She was rather small and she had bright blue eyes that stood out against her pale grey fur. She looked surprised to see Leafpool. She glanced around, looking at the walls. "Am I dreaming?"

"I think so," Leafpool answered. "Who are you?"

"I'm Dove's Wing," the she-cat said. "Sharpclaw of the Tribe of still Water."

Leafpool gasped. "You're Jay's Wing's sister!"

"You know my brother?" Dove's Wing said, her eyes brimming with hope.

Leafpool nodded. "I'm Leafpool, medicine cat of ThunderClan. Jay's Wing's been in my camp for almost two moons. Actually, I just realized who he was today."

"I see you two have met," a voice said. Leafpool whipped around and saw a ginger and white tom standing behind her. His green eyes seemed to glow in the darkness of the tunnel.

"Fallen Leaves!" Dove's Wing cried and bounded up to him. The tom purred and nuzzled her head.

"I'm not your Fallen Leaves," Fallen Leaves spoke. "I'm not the one you spoke with just a night ago."

Dove's Wing stepped back and blinked with confusion.

"I am the Fallen Leaves of your future," Fallen Leaves spoke. "Of Leafpool's time."

Dove's Wing looked at Leafpool. "So… Jaypaw is from the future? He was sent back in time?"

"Yes," Fallen Leaves spoke. "He and Jay's Wing have a certain… connection. When my past self attacked him, I somehow damaged his spirit, causing it to leak out into the universe. It was naturally drawn to its counterpart, causing Jay's Wing and Jaypaw's minds to trade places."

"What?" Dove's Wing looked as confused as Leafpool felt. _What is he meowing about?_

"Uh…" Fallen Leaves paused then shrugged. "Astral stuff. Power of the Stars and all that. Don't question it."

"So do you know how to… switch them back?" Leafpool asked.

Fallen Leaves nodded. "Yes. That is why I came here. Something's going to happen soon and Jay's Wing and Jaypaw need to be in their proper bodies and times when that happens. I need the two of you to-"

"Wait, what's going to happen?" Dove's Wing interrupted. "That sounds bad. Is it something we should know about? It seems kind of important."

Fallen Leaves sighed patiently. ""I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I just know my part to play and I need your help with it."

"What do you need?" Leafpool asked.

"I need you two to bring Jaypaw and Jay's Wing to the site the transfer took place," Fallen Leaves told them. "I can do the rest."

"Where's that?" Dove's Wing asked.

"The end of the trial," Fallen Leaves told her. "Where my past self transported you."

Dove's Wing nodded in understanding but Leafpool had no idea what they were talking about. "Where's the equivalent on ThunderClan territory?"

"It's kind of close to where you found Jay's Wing," Fallen Leaves explained. "He should be able to find it form there."

Leafpool stiffened. She remembered the last time she had seen that clearing. It had been filled with blood. _Jaypaw's blood. No, Jay's Wing's blood._ "Jay's Wing is injured. I don't know if he can make it that far."

"Is he alright?" Dove's Wing asked, worry in her voice. Leafpool nodded assuringly to her.

"You both have some time," Fallen Leaves told them. "I need time to prepare. I'll contact you when I'm ready. In the meantime, inform your jays what's happening."

"That might be hard," Dove's Wing muttered under her breath.

"I'll try my best to get Jay's Wing ready in time," Leafpool promised.

"That's all I ask," Fallen Leaves said with a smile. "Now it's time for you to wake up."

* * *

Dove's Wing jerked awake with a gasp. Beside her, Jaypaw was still sleeping soundly. She began prodding him with her paw urgently. "Jaypaw! Jaypaw!"

When Jaypaw's eyes snapped open, even a blind cat would see the fear in them. He gave a soft yowl and began struggling. Dove's Wing's eyes widened in alarm. She threw herself on top of him, pinning him down before he could hurt himself, and began to lick his head soothingly. "Calm down, relax. Everything's fine now."

Jaypaw's jerking slowed and his body went limp. He was breathing hard. His eyes were still wild but he didn't seem as scared anymore. Dove's Wing got off him. _What was that about?_ "Bad dream?"

"Something like that," Jaypaw grunted. "What is it?"

"I had a dream," Dove's Wing started.

"Great. Now let me go back to sleep."

"I mean like a dream of the stars," Dove's Wing said. "I saw Fallen Leaves and Leafpool."

Jaypaw's eyes widened. "I didn't tell you her name, did I?"

Dove's Wing shook her head. "Jay's Wing's in your body. In the future. With Leafpool."

Jaypaw's eyes remained wide. He took a deep breath and sat up, looking stunned. "I was not expecting that."

"Me neither," Dove's Wing said. "I only found out yesterday after all. Apparently Leafpool did too."

Jaypaw snorted. "Figures."

Dove's Wing didn't question it. "Fallen Leaves says he has a way to get you back. He says-"

"I'm not going."

"Let me finish!"

"I'm not going," Jaypaw repeated.

Dove's Wing put her tail over his mouth. "Fallen Leaves says something's going to happen soon and you need to be back in your body and Jay's Wing needs to be back in his body."

Jaypaw moved his mouth away from her tail to speak. "I don't give a flying fox dung about that stupid prophecy anymore."

"I didn't say anything about a prophecy," Dove's Wing said slowly. "But that sounds important. What is it?"

"'There will be three kin of your kin who will hold the Power of the Stars in their paws,'" Jaypaw recited effortlessly. "It was given to Firestar, my mother's father, about me and my siblings. Each of has powers. I lost them when I came here but I'm sure Jay's Wing has them now. He can take my place. I don't want the power."

Dove's Wing blinked at the new information. Jaypaw had said it so casually, it was astonishing. "How could you not want the Power of the Stars? What's that even mean?"

Jaypaw shrugged. "I could do some things that other cats couldn't. But it's not important. I don't have the power anymore. Jay's Wing can stay in the clan, fulfill the prophecy. That's probably what Fallen Leaves was talking about. I don't want anything to do with it anymore."

"But Jaypaw-"

"Call me Jay's Wing," Jaypaw said. He rose to his paws and stalked out of the den. "I'm going hunting. Feel free to take some moss from my nest to your own den."


	16. Green Not Red

Jay's Wing's lips curled as he took a bundle of herbs into his mouth and tried to choke them down. He looked up at Leafpool who was standing beside him and couldn't help but feel a bit resentful. "These are disgusting."

"They're for your own good," she told him. "We've only got a few days until I have to bring you to that tunnel and you're nowhere near strong enough to make that journey."

"Aren't herbs supposed to fix stuff on the inside?" Jay's Wing questioned as he took another leaf into his mouth. He flinched the moment it hit his tongue. _I hate these._ "It's my body that's broken. If I'm not strong enough, shouldn't I be doing something to strengthen it?"

"I suppose," Leafpool said, "but I think playing with the kits like you've been doing gives you enough exercise."

Jay's Wing barked in laughter and sat up, giving up on the herbs. "Those little things have a bottomless supply of energy and then they just crash. I can't keep up with them until they're too tired to do anything. I basically just sit there and break up any fights or throw a moss ball. I don't think that counts as exercise."

"That's true," Leafpool sighed. She thought for a moment. "Hollypaw and Lionpaw could probably help you out with some exercises or just walk around with you. I think they'd like that."

"Have you told them I'm Jay's Wing yet?"

Leafpool stiffened then hissed. "Fox dung!"

* * *

Jaypaw opened his eyes in a familiar darkness. The starless sky was as black as a cat's pelt and the trees that surrounded him seemed to be made of shadows. Jaypaw began to make his way through them, searching for the clearing he ventured to each and every night.

White fur stood out against the black and red eyes stood out against the white. Jaypaw shivered under Ink's gaze. _Green not red. Green not red._ But here there was only red.

"Little Jay," Ink greeted, his voice as deep and rich as always.

Jaypaw noticed his pelt wasn't as sleek as normal and he even had a few scratches on his broad shoulders. He blinked in surprise. _Who could do that to Ink? He's the most powerful cat I've ever met._ He pointed with his tail. "Who did that to you?"

"Oh this?" Ink glanced at his fur for a brief moment. "My little sisters, Jackal and Avian. They seem to think I've been treating them unfairly, that I've taken something that's rightfully theirs. No matter. We'll simply step up your training."

"Step up my training?"

"You don't really think that copying my battlemoves and learning to dodge my strikes is enough?" Ink questioned. _Yes._ Jaypaw shook his head instead of speaking his mind. He had learned to bite his tongue long ago. Ink smirked. "Well it's time to do more. You have power from the stars, I can feel it in you but it seems you can't access it yet."

Jaypaw was momentarily confused. It was Jaypaw who had the Power of the Stars in his paws, not Jay's Wing and he was in Jay's Wing's body. _I don't have my powers. Does Jay's Wing have his own powers?_

Ink continued. "You've seen Jackal and Avian's powers, yes?"

Jaypaw nodded. "When Jackal showed up, she shook the earth and made a river. When Avian showed up, she turned the trees to stone."

"That's right. Those two have the power of the Earth, Jackal the natural world and Avian the twoleg city. They can do many things but the power physical world does not compare to the power of the mind," Ink said. His red eyes bore into Jaypaw. "The same being in the stars that granted me my powers seems to have given you powers of the same nature. We just have to draw them out and my sisters won't go around thinking they can take you from me anymore."

"Draw out my power? How?"

"Using my power," Ink told him simply. He lifted a paw and unsheathed his claws. Jaypaw flinched and took a step back but Ink didn't attack him. Instead, he plunged his paw into the ground and drew a few lines in the ground. "You saw my power in your trial, little Jay. Those spirits you saw, that was my doing."

 _What?_ A ghostly yowl filled the air. Jaypaw crouched in fear, eyes darting around. _What was that?_ His eyes fell on Ink's drawings on the ground. Suddenly, a transparent paw shot out of them. Jaypaw yowled in surprise and tried to scramble away.

Ink threw his head back and laughed. "Run little Jay. I control the lost spirits that still walk the earth and they won't stop attacking you until you unlock your power to destroy them or they kill you."

* * *

"Jaypaw!" Hollypaw exclaimed as she darted into the medicine den.

Jay's Wing sat up in his nest and sighed. "Not Jaypaw."

Hollypaw looked to Leafpool. Leafpool sighed. "Not Jaypaw."

"What do you mean 'not Jaypaw'?" Lionpaw questioned as he entered.

"Not Jaypaw," Jay's Wing repeated. Leafpool flicked him with her tail.

"He's not Jaypaw. He's Jay's Wing," Leafpool explained. "He's… a spirit from the past inhabiting Jaypaw's body."

Jay's Wing wished he wasn't blind. He really wanted to see Hollypaw and Lionpaw's gaping faces. Still, his tail tip curled in amusement.

Leafpool cleared her throat. "So pretty much we need to get him back to where we found him before and a friend of his can do the rest."

"Oh, you mean that ghost cat?" Hollypaw asked.

"Fallen Leaves? You know him?" Jay's Wing was surprised. When Leafpool had told him that Fallen Leaves still walked the earth, he was a bit skeptical but apparently he really did.

Hollypaw nodded. "He was the one who took us to you."

"Any idea how he became a ghost?" Lionpaw asked.

Jay's Wing thought for a moment. His head always hurt when he thought back to his trial or the Rite of Passage but a memory stood out to him clearly.

 _A deep voice cackled. Jay's Wing, tired and beaten after two days of running, looked around fearfully and just kept moving as if that was the only thing he could do._

 _"Little Jay! I've been waiting for you to arrive!" the voice yowled through laughter. "Welcome to the Third Day! I am your Proctor, Ink of the Tribe of Blackest Night. You saw my sisters' power but mine is far greater. Enjoy!"_

 _Ghostly yowls echoed through the tunnels. Jay's Wing kept running despite his heavy limbs trying to drag him down. He risked a glance behind him and saw transparent forms chasing him, faces dripping and pelts twisted._ _"What in the name of the stars?"_

 _Ink cackled again. "I see you've met the lost spirits."_

"Fallen Leaves died in the tunnels," Jay's Wing spoke. "I suppose he could have made it past the first day. The third proctor controls the spirits still trapped on the earth. I guess Fallen Leaves didn't go to the stars when he died."

The ThunderClan cats stared at him, not understanding but they didn't argue.

"So Fallen Leaves can use his ghost powers to get Jay's Wing back home and Jaypaw back here?" Lionpaw asked. "What can we do to help?"

"Jay's Wing's still pretty beat up," Leafpool explained. "He needs help regaining his strength."

Hollypaw stiffened with determination. Jay's Wing could imagine her eyes shining in the dim light. "You can count on us."

* * *

 _Fox dung! Fox dung! Fox dung! Why did I ever agree to train with Ink?_

Jaypaw was in a dead sprint, running through the shadowy trees of the Place of No Stars. Behind him, the damaged spirits of various cats had been chasing him for StarClan knows how long. _Not StarClan. I turned my back on them and they can't see me here._

Jaypaw risked a glance over his shoulder. Dozens of ungraceful forms were stumbling over each other behind him but he couldn't afford to slow down. If he did, they would surely catch him.

Jaypaw's chest and muscles were burning with effort. He was a medicine cat, he didn't have the greatest endurance but Jay's Wing was a sharpclaw with enough stamina to survive the Rite of Passage all three days. The fact that he was out of breath meant something.

 _I can't last forever. I've got to get them to stop._ Jaypaw's mind went back to what Ink had told him. _He told me that I had to use my powers to stop them. But I can't use my powers anymore! And even if I could, they're not really good for fighting._

Still, he tried. And how he tried. He felt like his head was going to explode, that's how hard he concentrated. But nothing happened nor did he expect it to. The power of dream walking didn't really have any noticable effects in the physical world. The lost spirits just kept chasing after him with clumsy steps and ear splitting shrieks.

 _I've got to outsmart them._ Jaypaw didn't know how to do that. He couldn't climb a tree, he wasn't trained for tree combat. And there wasn't any place to hide. If there was, he wouldn't be able to find it anyway. He was too unfamiliar with this place. An idea struck. _But there is one place that I know well._

Jaypaw shifted his path ever so slightly so his path arced and he began to loop back around. _Maybe if I tell Ink who I really am he'll let me go._ _Yeah right. That's not happening but maybe the ghosts will attack him._ He scoffed aloud through labored breaths. _Fat chance. But maybe something will happen._ Unlikely but it was the only thing he could think of at the moment.

Jaypaw looped around and began heading back to the clearing he always trained in. Thankfully, the spirits only really seemed intent on chasing him directly and didn't have the strategy to back up and try to cut him off. Jaypaw's chest kept burning but with a plan in mind, his adrenaline spiked and his paws found the energy to run faster.

It was a while until he made it back. As he expected, Ink was there. What he did not expect was to be met with a blood bath.

Crimson red blood filled the shadowy clearing, red standing out against the black of the background. It wasn't filled but small pools were scattered across the entire clearing and stained the nearby trees, even reaching the highest branches.

"What in the name of StarClan?" he gasped.

Battle ceased, three forms froze. Three pairs of eyes locked on him. Sharp yellow, bright blue, blood red. Jackal, Avian, Ink. But all he saw was red. Blood, blood red. The scarlet liquid staining the clearing seemed to fill his vision, stains on the three pelts melding together, painting everything red. Yellow and blue were gone, Jaypaw could only see red eyes staring at him. They might as well have been naturally red. Red meant blood and red brought blood.

Jaypaw's mind was torn away from the spirits chasing after him. Jackal, Avian, and Ink had been locked in deep battle and now the siblings had stopped and were staring at him. Jaypaw's body was seized by a shaking fit of fear and he screwed his eyes shut.

 _Green not red. Green not red. Green not red._ Green was the color of life, not the death that shrouded this place. Green was the color of real leaves, not the black shadows that covered the trees here. And most importantly, green was the color of Half Moon. Half Moon's brilliant emerald green eyes. They were safe. Unlike red. Red was death.

"Jay! Get out of here!" Ink yowled, voice harsh. Battle resumed, he raked his thick claws down Avian's ginger face and slammed his foot into Jackal's abdomen. "Don't let them get you!"

Jaypaw was too terrified to move. He could hear the ghosts chasing him but he didn't move. He could hear another set of three siblings with the Power of the Stars fighting in front of him but he didn't move. His body was screaming for him to run but he still didn't move. His heart was beating so hard he could practically feel it in his throat but he still didn't move.

"Jay!" Ink screamed. "Move!"

But he couldn't move. Jaypaw's eyes opened and he saw a clearing stained red and three bloodied pelts. _Red, red, red. Everything is red. I'm going to die._

"Jay! Get out of here!" Ink snapped. He abandoned the fight, and ran at him, slamming into him as he tackled him to the ground. The blood from his white fur smeared onto Jaypaw's grey fur. Jaypaw's eyes went wide as one of the ghost spirits flew by. _It was about to attack me. Ink saved me._

Ink's paw went to the air and Jaypaw's eyes focused on his abnormally thick claws. They came down and raked down his cheek. Jaypaw's mind hardly recognized the pain or the liquid dripping down his face. His body was in shock and he just kept staring at Ink.

"Get out of here!" Ink hissed in his face and got off him. Avian and Jackal were approaching but Ink lunged at them. "Leave!"

Jaypaw still couldn't move.

"You're so weak!" Ink spat. "You're supposed to be a sharpclaw. Move!"

 _If this is what it takes to be a sharpclaw, I don't want to be one._

"Fine." Ink waved his tail once. "Be gone!"

And suddenly Jaypaw wasn't in the Place of No Stars anymore.

* * *

Jaypaw's eyes snapped open and he was in his den. But that's not what he saw. He just saw red. The red of blood. The red of death. And it stained three siblings' pelts. But he didn't see Jackal, Avian, and Ink. He couldn't help but wonder where they went wrong. _Hollypaw, Lionpaw, Jaypaw… They have the Power of the Stars in their paws but they're broken. Oh StarClan, that could be us one day._

Jaypaw's breaths became fast. Still, all he could see was red. _Green. I need green._

Jaypaw ran out of his den. It was the middle of the night but he didn't care. He ran down the tunnel that the tribe called home and burst into Half Moon's den. He saw her white sleeping form and furiously began prodding her with his paw. _I need to see green eyes._

"Jay's Wing?" she murmured. Her eyes blinked open at him. They were red. _No!_ A spike of shock and fear struck Jaypaw and he stumbled back. _No no no no no. They're supposed to be green. What happened to green?_ Half Moon sat up and leaned towards him. Jaypaw flinched back and screwed his eyes shut fearfully. A soft tongue touched his eyelids. "You're covered in blood! It's in your eyes. Here, let me help."

Jaypaw tried to calm his panicked breathes as the soft tongue soothed him. When the lapping stopped, he slowly opened his eyes and saw brilliant green staring back at him, shining with worry. He let out a long breath and thrust his face into her shoulder fur. "Half Moon!"

"Jay's Wing?" Half Moon licked the side of his face comfortingly. "What's wrong?"

Anxiety twisted in his belly, nervousness flooded his body. _Here goes nothing._ "I'm not Jay's Wing!"

"What?" Half Moon stepped away, staring at him, shocked. Jaypaw focused on her green eyes, ignoring everything else. She was beautiful in every way but the soul showed true beauty and hers was beautiful. Her eyes reflected that. Jaypaw knew he had just lost her but he wanted to cling to that lingering love for as long as possible.

"You heard me," Jaypaw breathed. "I'm not Jay's Wing."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dove's Wing knows. Jay's Wing was lost in the Rite of Passage and I came out. My name is Jaypaw, one of the Three and apprentice medicine cat of ThunderClan.


	17. Ghost of the Past

"W-what?" Half Moon stuttered. Her green eyes stared at the grey tom standing before him. He looked just like Jay's Wing but he wasn't. _Jaypaw?_

"I know, I know. It's hard to believe but I'm telling the truth," the tom pleaded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I think I'm from the future and my soul is just inhabiting Jay's Wing's body. I hated my life back home and coming here… I was selfish. Jay's Wing has such an amazing life, I wanted it for myself. I wanted it all. Being a sharpclaw, living in a tribe, having friends, having kin, having you. Half Moon, I love you. I really do."

Half Moon blinked. "I… I love you too. But you're not Jay's Wing."

Jaypaw hung his head. "You're right. I'm not. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you who I really am. I just…"

Half Moon touched her nose to his shoulder and purred soothingly. "Sit. Clam down. Talk with me. And let me get that blood off you. Why are you always waking up covered in blood? Where'd does even come from? You don't have any wounds this time..."

Jaypaw let out a long breath. "I've been having dreams."

"Dreams?"

"Yeah. I dream of a cat called Ink. He's… Well, I'm not supposed to tell you about the trial but he's the proctor of the Third Day. The trial has three parts and a proctor for each one but cats rarely live past the first," Jaypaw explained, breathing rapid. Half Moon began grooming him. "Jay's Wing made it to the last day. Fallen Leaves made it to the second. The third proctor, Ink, he had the power to control lost spirits. Fallen Leaves is a lost spirit but he's free of Ink's control for some reason."

"Fallen Leaves is still down there?"

Jaypaw nodded. "Yeah. He's sad. And lonely. When he saw Jay's Wing… he was so happy. He wanted him to stay with him but accidentally ended up tearing his soul or something and he ended up switching with me."

Half Moon nodded absently, focused on the grooming. She trusted Jaypaw would tell her everything on his own.

"Where I'm from, there are four warrior clans. ThunderClan, RiverClan, ShadowClan, and WindClan. We live here, by the lake. We get along for the most part usually but we fight sometimes. Our clans are made up of warriors. A warrior's job is to protect their clan by fighting for it and feeding it."

"Sounds noble," Half Moon murmured. "Sometimes I wish our tribe was like that. Cared for each other, I mean."

"Yeah. It's nice I suppose. Ever since I was a kit, all I wanted was to be a warrior and protect my clan," Jaypaw went on. "I did, I really did. But I was born blind."

"Blind?" Everything was starting to make sense.

Jaypaw nodded. "Everyone treated me differently but I never thought anything could stop me. Then I heard my parents talking about teaching me how to navigate the forest with a guide. And I heard some warriors talking about sending me to the elders' den early while my brother and sister became apprentices. And then I was assigned Brightheart, a one-eyed warrior, as my mentor and it didn't go so well. StarClan came to me and told me I had to be a medicine cat, a healer. I didn't want to but I had to so I did."

"And I'm guessing you didn't like it?"

Jaypaw snorted. "That doesn't even begin to cover it. I hated it. I had to sleep away from my siblings and I never had a chance to befriend the other apprentices. I had to sleep all alone in a stuffy medicine den with my mentor who was nice at first but then we started fighting. It was okay at first but towards the end, I started hating it. I… this is kind of embarrassing but I found this stick. It had these scratches on it and if I listened closely, I could hear it whispering."

"What did it say?"

"It… Now that I think of it, it talked about sharpclaws and softpaws and tunnels," Jaypaw told her slowly. "And then one day, it went missing and I felt something pulling me to the tunnels. I found my stick but the tunnel started shaking and caving in. It collapsed and I got hit in the head with a rock. When I woke up, I still in the tunnels but when I came out, I saw you."

Half Moon nodded, processing everything Jaypaw had told her. "I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be. Nothing I said had anything to do with you."

"But you don't belong here. You wanted to stay because of me," she protested. She nuzzled his shoulder and he pressed his head against hers. "You need to go back."

"I know," Jaypaw sighed. "Dove's Wing… on her trial, she found Fallen Leaves. He told her how to bring me back. I just… I didn't want to go."

"But something's changed?" It was more of a statement than a question.

Jaypaw stepped away from her and nodded. He pawed his blood stained pelt. "Ever wonder where I get these?"

Half Moon gave him a deadpan look. _I ask him about that all the time._

Jaypaw chuckled. "Right. So I wanted to be a sharpclaw, right? But I have zero training and it's kind of weird moving around without having to be so cautious all the time. I started having these dreams, I told you that. Ink, he came to me and trained me. It was hard and scary but I got better so I kept going back. But then the First and Second proctors showed up and Ink started fighting with them."

Jaypaw shuffled his paws and looked down. "Last night, Ink said he had to step up my training. He has powers, I told you he can control lost spirits. He had them chase me. He said I could only defeat them by using my powers."

"Your powers?"

Jaypaw nodded. "There's a prophecy about me and my siblings. It says we have the Power of the Stars in our paws. And I do, I've got powers, but I lost them when I came back here. I didn't really care, I'd trade power for happiness any day. I figured Jay's Wing was in my place with my powers, he could fulfill whatever my destiny was or whatever. Anyway, point is, I don't have powers here but Ink seemed to think I did. I couldn't do anything against those ghosts so I ran back towards him and I saw him fighting Avian and Jackal."

"Who?"

"The other two proctors. They're siblings. The clearing… it was filled with blood. I just got so scared. All that red… Ink has red eyes, they scare me. And then there was red everywhere and three siblings with powers were fighting each other… I just thought of me and my siblings and I thought all that red was going to kill me."

Half Moon wrapped her tail around his. "It's okay now. You said Dove's Wing and Fallen Leaves can bring you back. Just go with them and it'll all be fine."

Jaypaw nodded hesitantly. His blue eyes met hers. They shined with fear. "I know. But I'm selfish. I don't want to leave you. Or Dove's Wing. Or Fish Leap. Or anyone. I want to see my clan again, I think, but I don't want to leave my tribe."

"We'll always be your tribe," Half Moon told him, "but you're not our Jay and Jay's Wing isn't your clan's medicine cat. You both have a place to be and you need to return there."

Jaypaw nodded slowly. "Yeah… Yeah. You're right. I'll go tell Dove's Wing I'll go with her."

He moved to leave but Half Moon stopped him. "Not right now. It's the middle of the night. Come on, spend the night with me. I'll protect you from any bad dreams."

* * *

When Dove's Wing woke, the headed over to Jaypaw's den and saw an empty nest. Worry rose in her chest. _Did he run away?_

"Dove's Wing."

Dove's Wing whipped around and saw Jaypaw standing behind her. She let out a breath as she relaxed. "Don't scare me like that."

Jaypaw ignored her. "I'll go with you."

Dove's Wing blinked. "What?"

"I said I'll go with you," Jaypaw repeated. "I'll go back to my clan."

"Really?"

Jaypaw huffed. "I said I'd go three times. What else do you want?"

"Sorry," Dove's Wing apologized. "You just seemed to set on staying."

"Well, things change," Jaypaw grunted. "When do we go?"

"Soon," Dove's Wing promised. "Get ready to see your clan again, Jaypaw."

"Yeah," Jaypaw said, turning away. "Sure."

* * *

Jay's Wing grit his teeth as he forced his legs forward. His hind legs were dragging stiffly behind him. His chest and forelegs burned with effort as he tried to stand properly but try as he might, he just couldn't walk normally.

"Maybe we should take a break," Hollypaw suggested. Jay's Wing twitched his ears, pinpointing her location beside him, and turned to give her a blind stare. He sensed her flinch. "I can understand you wanting to get better but it won't do you any good if you hurt yourself too much to make it to the tunnels when it's time."

Jay's Wing sighed and stopped walking. Lionpaw moved to his side, ready to help him if he stumbled but Jay's Wing stiffly managed to sit down on his own.

"I thought I was doing alright but walking in the forest is so hard," Jay's Wing complained. "There's so much… stuff everywhere. And I can't even see it."

"That's what we're here for," Lionpaw told him. "We're your eyes and ears so you can try and get over your injuries."

"My ears are fine," Jay's Wing grumbled. "And it's not my fault Jaypaw's stupid eyes can't see anything."

Lionpaw snorted. "He's had to deal with it his whole life so quit complaining."

"Yeah well I know what it's like to see things," Jay's Wing pointed out, "and Jaypaw doesn't so there's this whole transition and it's really hard. I dare you to spend a quarter moon with your eyes closed. Then you can tell me to quit complaining."

Lionpaw opened his mouth to respond but Hollypaw interrupted. "If you're in Jaypaw's body, does that mean Jaypaw's in your body?"

"I assume so, yeah."

"Then does that mean he can see?"

"If he has his eyes open, yeah."

"Jaypaw can see?" Lionpaw questioned.

Jay's Wing tilted his head and looked at him. _They're only realizing this now?_ "Yeah…"

"StarClan," Hollypaw whispered. "Jaypaw can see."

Jay's Wing flicked his tail. "It's really not that crazy."

"Jaypaw's always been blind. It's always stopped him from doing what he wanted to do," Hollypaw told him.

"And?"

"What if… What if it's better if he stays in your body?" Hollypaw asked.

Shock struck Jay's Wing but it soon melted into anger. His eyes narrowed and he rose to his paws, ignoring the pain from his earlier injuries shooting down his back. "What do you mean it's better if Jaypaw stays in my body?"

"He could have the life he's always wanted," Lionpaw realized aloud.

Jay's Wing's paw was in the air in a flash and raked down both of their cheeks. He felt Hollypaw's blood seep between his claws and Lionpaw's powers save him from injury. Jay's Wing glared and hissed. "What about me? He's living my life! He has no right to it!"

"Jaypaw didn't deserve to be born blind!" Hollypaw argued. She swiped her tongue over her paw and wiped away the blood leaking from the scratch on her face. "You don't deserve to be able to see anymore than him!"

"Neither do you!" Jay's Wing hissed, getting in her face. "But he's living my life! He's with my friends, my kin, and my tribe and leeching off my victory in the Rite of Passage! It's mine!"

"How selfish can you be?" Hollypaw asked, sounding shocked.

"Me? Selfish? He's the one stealing everything from me!" Jay's Wing snarled. He felt an angry heat forming in his belly. "Leafpool said my own sister didn't even know who he really was for moons. She's my sister, not his. He's got his own sister, he doesn't need mine. And he's been lying to my best friend and my love. I was the one who he befriended and she fell in love with and he's… he's… taking advantage of their bonds with me. If that's not selfish, I don't know what is!"

Jay's Wing's breathing was rough, chest heaving, as he stood hunched and glaring at Jaypaw's siblings. He swung his head, blind gaze raking over them harsher than any cats' claws. His blood boiled with an anger that he hadn't been aware of festering under his skin for moons since arriving in this strange time and clan.

"I'll admit Jaypaw's life is rough and I never experienced something like it before but that doesn't mean he gets a pass. When I got here, I was on the Third Day of the sharpclaw trial. I came so close to dying so hard but I worked so freaking hard to survive," Jay's Wing went on. "And now, rather than enjoying my life as a sharpclaw in my tribe, I'm here in this stupid place with you instead of my friends and kin and Jaypaw's reaping all the benefits of all I sacrificed and fought through."

Lionpaw lowered his head, eyes flashing guiltily. Jay's Wing couldn't see it of course but he felt the spike of emotion using Jaypaw's powers, powers he wished he didn't have.

"I'm sorry," Hollypaw murmured, "but he's our brother. I know it's wrong but I can't help for just wanting what's best for him."

Jay's Wing sighed and let himself relax. He sat back on his haunches. "I guess I can understand it. Still doesn't mean I'm alright with it. I'm going back to my tribe whether you two help me or not."

"Of course we'll keep helping you," Lionpaw said. "We still want to see our brother again and we want you to see your sister again."

"Good," Jay's Wing said. "Then help me stand up. I think my hips locked."

* * *

"Jaypaw."

Jaypaw woke from a dreamless sleep to the sound of his name. He looked up and saw Dove's Wing standing at the entrance of his den.

"It's time to go."

Jaypaw sighed and lifted himself out of his nest. Dove's Wing slid a rabbit forward with her paw. Jaypaw looked at it then up at her.

She shrugged. "It's still early. I thought we should eat before leaving."

"But I haven't hunted," Jaypaw frowned.

She purred and settled down next to the rabbit. "Share, mouse brain."

Jaypaw curled his tail and lay down across from her. He let her have the first bite before digging in himself.

* * *

"Jay's Wing, wake up."

Jay's Wing was awake in an instant. "Is it time?"

Leafpool nodded. Jay's Wing smelled mouse in the air and a moment later she put a mouse down in front of him. "Eat. You need your strength. It's not far but you're still having some problems moving."

"Thanks Leafpool," Jay's Wing said before biting into the mouse's flank and enjoying the warm flavor flood his mouth. With Jaypaw's powers, he became aware of a warm happiness washing off the ThunderClan medicine cat.

* * *

Jaypaw and Dove's Wing came to a stop in front of the tunnel entrance but not the dead ended one the tribe lived in. This was the Rite of Passage. Jaypaw had come here before, when Dove's Wing went on her trial and when he came to this time. A nervous feeling spread up from his paws to his belly and up his neck, seizing his whole body.

Jaypaw turned away from the tunnel and stared into the forest knowing this would be the last time he'd see trees until he joined StarClan in the Silverpelt. _I don't want to go yet…_

He felt a tail tip on his shoulder. He turned and his blue eyes met Dove's Wing's own blue eyes. Her eyes shone like a river in the dawn light. "Are you ready?"

"No," Jaypaw said truthfully, "but I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

"Then let's go before anyone notices we're gone," Dove's Wing said. Jaypaw nodded slowly and padded into the tunnel. The moment darkness filled his vision, he froze. _I don't want to go back. Not yet._

"Jaypaw," a voice said but it wasn't Dove's Wing's.

"Fallen Leaves," Dove's Wing murmured.

"Jaypaw. Dove's Wing."

Jaypaw didn't see anything but Dove's Wing went further into the underground. "Fallen Leaves."

"You came back!" a voice purred. Jaypaw saw a transparent pelt standing out against the earth. "I was worried you wouldn't come."

"Of course we did," Dove's Wing said. "We're your friends. Well, I am at least. And Jay's Wing is too. He'll be here soon too and when Half Moon and Fish Leap have their trials, you'll see them too."

The ghost smiled sadly. "I know. It's so lonely down here… I can't help but feeling a little hopeless sometimes. I guess that's what made me… y'know, accidentally steal your brother's soul but I'll make everything okay again. I promise I will."

Dove's Wing nodded comfortingly. "You will. I know you will."

Fallen Leaves let out a long sigh and glanced between the two. "Are you ready?"

Jaypaw swallowed. He didn't want to go yet. He could see here. He was a sharpclaw, a warrior. _But because of what? I'm living someone else's life… and the only reason I'm any good at hunting or fighting is because of Ink. Ink… I don't want to see him again. This is the only hope I have of that._

Fallen Leaves and Dove's Wing were watching him. Slowly, Jaypaw nodded and Dove's Wing let out a breath.

"Lay down," Fallen Leaves commanded. "I'll do the rest."

Jaypaw did as he was told and settled down on the dirt floor. Dove's Wing did the same beside him. Fallen Leaves stood over him and Jaypaw couldn't help feeling a little scared. He'd only seen spirits once before and they were trying to kill him. But Half Moon, Fish Leap, and Dove's Wing had told him about Fallen Leaves and he found himself trusting the steady green gaze looking down on him.

Fallen Leaves closed his eyes and lowered his muzzle, pressing it against Jaypaw's forehead. Jaypaw closed his own eyes and felt a fog enter his mind and a moment later, he felt something ripping from his body. His eyes snapped open then rolled back as he tried his hardest not to yowl his lungs out. _It hurts…_

And then his vision was flooded with bright colors that he'd never seen before and the sharp, tearing pain turned into a smooth feeling of something slipping from his mind and merging with whatever lay beyond. _Lionpaw... Hollypaw... Leafpool... I'm coming home._


	18. Souls

When Jay's Wing opened his eyes, he was met by a brilliant light. It blinded him but he found he didn't mind. Being blinded by color was a blessing after being blinded by darkness.

A moment later, the light died down and he found himself standing in a fog filled clearing. He blinked his sharp blue eyes and looked around. _I can see._

Jay's Wing glanced at the cat beside him and saw Leafpool for the first time. Blue eyes met amber and Jay's Wing felt himself drawn in by their warmth. His eyes looked over the ThunderClan medicine cat and took in every detail of her light brown tabby pelt. Leafpool tilted her head, confused by his behavior. She smiled at him.

A moment later, two more cats arrived. These two he recognized. One was the pale grey she-cat with eyes that matched his own that he had woken up beside many mornings while he was still a kit curled up in the curve of his mother's belly. The other had a face that he'd seen stare back at him each and every time he looked at his reflection in the great lake near his home.

"Dove's Wing! Jaypaw," Jay's Wing said after they appeared.

"Jay's Wing!" Dove's Wing broke into a purr and ran up to her brother. She rubbed her head against his. "I'm so glad to see you."

Jay's Wing reciprocated her display of sibling affection and nuzzled her, his own purr rumbling in his chest. He was vaguely aware of Jaypaw and Leafpool less affectionate greeting behind him but he couldn't care less what the ThunderClan cats were doing. He was finally with his sister again.

A cat cleared his throat and Jay's Wing turned to see two Fallen Leaves sitting patiently at the edge of the foggy clearing. He cocked his head in confusion. One of the Fallen Leaves, a fresher looking one, got to his paws and waved his tail, disappearing in an instant and leaving the far more worn looking one.

"Jay's Wing, Jaypaw, welcome," Fallen Leaves said. "I'm the Fallen Leaves of the clans' time. Don't worry, I've spoken with my past self. He won't be causing any more trouble for any of us for a long time. Now I think it's time that the two Jays talk with their counterparts."

"Wait, what?" Jaypaw asked but his words didn't cause Fallen Leaves to pause. The ginger tom waved his tail just as his past self had done and in an instant he, Leafpool, and Dove's Wing were gone, leaving only Jaypaw and Jay's Wing in the fog filled clearing.

Jay's Wing blinked his sighted eyes and glanced at Jaypaw. It was just like looking at his reflection, they looked exactly the same. Jay's Wing opened his mouth but suddenly felt a surge of emotion that made him close his mouth again.

His thoughts were conflicting. On one paw, he was angry at the young tom standing before him. Jaypaw had taken his place as a sharpclaw in the Tribe of Still Water. He had taken his friends, his sibling, and his lover while he, Jay's Wing, was trapped in a damaged, blind body in an unknown world.

But on the other paw, Jay's Wing did get a glimpse of Jaypaw's life and it was pretty terrible. Jaypaw was young and yet his dreams had already been crushed by fate. Being blind was harder than Jay's Wing could imagine. Even the simplest things were difficult and every cat treated him like he was going to shatter with the slightest mispawstep.

Jaypaw stared at him, conflict and emotion shining in his own eyes. Jay's Wing couldn't imagine what he was thinking. With all the thoughts in his own head, Jay's Wing could understand that Jaypaw had a million thoughts of his own rushing through that StarClan blessed mind of his but he had no idea what kinds of thoughts he was having. Surely he would miss being able to see once he returned home. And being a medicine cat was pretty lonely. Did he regret leaving the tribe?

Jaypaw broke the silence first. "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah," Jay's Wing agreed. "I've… I've thought about you a lot."

Jaypaw nodded. "Sorry that you got stuck with such a bad life for all these moons."

Jay's Wing snorted. "I'll admit I'm kind of pissed that you stole my life but I'm glad you got a break from blindness and being a medicine cat. I'm sorry you have to go back to that but I really want to be back in my own body."

Jaypaw flicked an ear. "I learned some warrior skills with your tribe. Hopefully things will be different."

"I wish you luck," Jay's Wing told him with a dip of his head.

"Thanks."

"So how's my tribe doing?" Jay's Wing asked.

"Pretty good. I don't know how it was before you left but nothing seems different," Jaypaw told him. "Dove's Wing is a sharpclaw now… I think Fish Leap and Half Moon are thinking about going on their own trials soon. How's the clan?"

Jay's Wing shrugged. "You hurt your body pretty bad before we got switched so I've been stuck in the medicine den a lot. I played around with Foxkit and Icekit a lot and they didn't really know what was going on with the clan."

Jaypaw nodded. "They're good kits."

"Yeah."

"You and Half Moon going to have kits anytime soon?" Jaypaw asked offhandedly.

Jay's Wing's eyes widened in surprise and he took a step back. "Where did _that_ come from? Did you-?"

Jaypaw waved his tail. "Don't worry. We didn't do anything. I'm just curious. I'm probably never going to see her or you again."

"That's true," Jay's Wing said. He paused. "I don't know. I haven't seen her since I passed the trial so we haven't really talked about that. We haven't even shared a den yet."

Jaypaw nodded. "Try to time it so you guys have kits at the same time as Fish Leap and Dove's Wing."

"Wait, what?" Jay's Wing screeched. "Is Dove's Wing expecting kits? Are they mates?"

"No. And no. I just noticed that your tribe's kits don't really have the same kind of kithood as clankits," Jaypaw told him. Jay's Wing let out a breath of relief. _I would not be ready for that._ "I just think it would be nice for your kits and your sister's kits to grow up together. There were a lot of kits in the nursery when Lionpaw, Hollypaw, and I were born. We were close with everyone else. Having friends would be good for your kits."

Jay's Wing nodded, suddenly understanding what Jaypaw was trying to say. Jaypaw could never have kits of his own so this was the closest thing he was going to get and he wasn't even going to be there for the kits' lives. He didn't want them to face the same hardships he had. "Your life is so lonely."

"I know. But some of it is my fault. I was just never good with others. I think I'll try to be better when I get back to the clan," Jaypaw said. "Even if it's too late to really bond with the other apprentices I could try to be nicer to Kestrelpaw and Willowpaw. They haven't suffered blindness but they know the loneliness of a medicine cat. I don't want them experiencing that on their own either."

"I think I'll try to study herbs a bit," Jay's Wing decided. "I learned a lot from Leafpool and in the tribe the more cats who know herbs the better."

"As much as I love the tribe, you guys need to change some stuff," Jaypaw agreed. "Like you guys don't share food. It was so hard not being able to hunt and I always felt bad eating around the elders and kits."

"I probably will too when I get back," Jay's Wing agreed. "Maybe I'll talk the others into starting a fresh-kill pile. Even if it's not like what you clans have, it'll still make it easier for the elders, queens, and kits to eat regularly."

"That's good," Jaypaw said. "You kind of got the short end of the stick on this switch. I'm glad you were able to learn some stuff from it."

"Oh, I learned a lot more than just that from this whole thing," Jay's Wing told him. He really had. This whole experience had changed his whole perspective on life and caused quite a bit of reflection on his own part. "So, um, how do we get out of here?"

* * *

Dove's Wing sat in the foggy clearing, tail whisking beside her, as she waited for Jay's Wing and Jaypaw to return. Fallen Leaves was staring blankly off into the distance and seemed occupied but Leafpool looked just as bored as she was.

"How was it?" Dove's Wing asked.

"What do you mean?"

"How was Jay's Wing's time in ThunderClan?"

"Oh… Well, I guess it was pretty hard on time," Leafpool told her.

"What do you mean?"

"He was injured when he found him and he didn't understand where he was or what was going on. And the fact no one believed him when he said he wasn't Jaypaw probably didn't help," Leafpool explained. She sighed. "I suppose Jaypaw's life is pretty difficult. He's blind and a medicine cat so he's pretty isolated. And… well, I found out Jaypaw was given powers from a prophecy."

"Powers?" Dove's Wing questioned. "Like… flight?"

Leafpool snorted in amusement. "Not quite. Jaypaw apparently can feel others emotions and walk in their dreams. It was pretty overwhelming for Jay's Wing since he had never experienced anything like that before. He… learned some things he probably shouldn't have."

"Well, once he's back home he can't tell anyone from your clan, Dove's Wing told her, "so there's no need to worry."

"True," Leafpool purred. "How was Jaypaw's time in the tribe?"

"I think he liked it," Dove's Wing told her. "He got the chance to live the type of life he always wanted. He had some issues… It was hard for him to hunt and fight since he had no previous training and he didn't exactly find the best teacher but he defiently enjoyed his time as a sharpclaw of the Tribe of Still Water."

"What do you mean he didn't find the best teacher?" Leafpool asked.

Dove's Wing looked away, avoiding the question. She glanced over at Fallen Leaves. "How long are they going to be?"

Fallen Leaves shrugged. "I don't know. I'm just acting as a medium. They decide when we leave."

"Did you tell them that?"

"Fox dung," Fallen Leaves hissed under his breath. His tail lashed behind him in frusteration. He took a breath and relaxed. "They're not mouse brains. They'll figure it out eventually."

* * *

Jaypaw sat on the ground of the fog filled clearing. Earlier he had a million thoughts rushing through his mind but it had been quieted by his talk with Jay's Wing.

Of course, he still wanted to stay with the tribe. He loved Dove's Wing, Half Moon, and Fish Leap and he didn't want to give up the ability to see or the ability to protect the cats he cared about but he knew he had to give Jay's Wing his life back and face his own.

But most of all, he wanted to get away from Ink. Ink scared him since the moment he laid eyes on that pure while pelt with rippling muscles below that and he had sensed his maliciousness the heartbeat those blood red eyes stared into his soul, piercing whatever defenses it had and exposing everything in him to the Place of No Stars.

Still, despite his fear, he found himself wishing that he could just keep training. Ink had powers like his. He would have liked to learn more about them. If only Ink had a softer heart. Then maybe things would have worked out between Jaypaw and the Tribe of Still Water.

But as he kept reminding himself, Jay's Wing deserved to live his own life and Jaypaw had no right to it, even if it meant going back to his own miserable existence alone in a medicine den. Maybe that could change though.

"How long are we supposed to wait here?" Jay's Wing questioned aloud, sounding impatient. "Fallen Leaves brought us here with his powers, right? If his powers are anything like yours, he should sense that we're done talking."

"Try using your powers," Jaypaw suggested. "If they're linked to his, we should be able to get back to Leafpool and Dove's Wing on our own."

Jay's Wing blinked at him. "My powers? I don't have any powers. We switched baack, didn't we? You should have them."

Jaypaw spiritually looked inside himself, feeling for any sign of his powers. He could feel something in him that hadn't been there before but it wasn't complete. It was something though. He shut his eyes, hating the darkness brought by the action, and concentrated. He reached out into the fog but got nothing.

The young grey tom opened his eyes and looked at the cat who looked just like him. "I can't. It's like my powers aren't really back yet. Maybe you still have them."

Jay's Wing shut his eyes, presumably doing the same thing Jaypaw had. He was still and silent for a few heartbeats before reopening his eyes. Jaypaw looked at him hopefully but Jay's Wing shook his head. "It's not working. I definitely still have your powers. They're just… not really… there."

Jaypaw tilted his head and tried focusing his sensory powers on Jay's Wing. "I think they're split between the two of us."

"Well we can't have that now, can we?" Jay's Wing said and took a step forward. He rested his muzzle on Jaypaw's shoulder. "I think I've got the hang of your powers enough to control them a little bit…"

Jaypaw suddenly felt a rush of energy come off of Jay's Wing filling him up like rain from a cloud fills a hollowed log during a storm. He gasped and tilted his head back. He'd expect something like this to be painful but the power transfer was smooth. It was like he was a stone in a river bed and Jay's Wing was calm water washing over and into him. He let his eyelids relax and his jaw slacken as an ecstasy filled his body.

Slowly, blurs of black began to fill his vision and the euphoric sensation slowed. He felt Jay's Wing shift against him but he didn't pull away. "I guess this is goodbye."

"It was nice meeting you," Jaypaw murmured, turning his head so he could see the cat as his vision began to face. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to see how my life could have been."

"And thank you for giving me the chance to learn so much."

Jaypaw felt his presence slipping as his mind began to become unclear. "Goodbye Jay's Wing."

"Goodbye Jaypaw."

And then the two vanished from this world of fog.


	19. Light and Dark

When Jay's Wing blinked his eyes open, he was greeted with the same sight he'd seen the past few moons each time he opened his eyes. Pitch black. Around him, he was aware of a she-cat beside him and his own aching body but he couldn't see it. His heart sank. _It didn't work._

Then he took a breath and the scent of earth and the cat beside him filled his nose. _Dove's Wing? This smells like the Rite of Passage…_

"Jay's Wing?" the she-cat questioned. Jay's Wing smiled at the sound of his littermate's voice. He lifted his head off the cool floor of the tunnel and flickers of light entered his vision and he saw the brown and grey of the walls around him.

Not responding to his sister, Jay's Wing pushed himself to his paws and ran towards the light. A loud purr roared in his chest as he stretched his muscles, enjoying the lack of resistance he had gotten use to feeling due to his injury. He felt strangely light and free as his paws brushed over the dirt, barely touching the ground with each stride. _I'm free. I'm finally going to be free again._

And then he broke to the surface. Brilliant sunlight flooded his vision. The trees around the clearing where the trial entrance lay towered over him but their presence was comforting, like a queen wrapping herself around her kit. Jay's Wing's bright blue eyes focused on the greenleaf leaves blowing in the wind, taking in every detail and movement. Birds leaped from the treetops singing their morning song as if welcoming him back to this beautiful world.

Jay's Wing could help but throw his head back and let out a victorious yowl, letting the entire forest hear everything he had in him. He felt the cry echo in his chest. It hurt a bit but he didn't care. The joy he felt at seeing such a glorious sight couldn't be expressed even by the stars above but he would try with all of his ancestors' might.

"Jay's Wing?" a voice questioned once his yowl died down.

Jay's Wing turned to see his sister padding from the tunnel. His expression softened once he saw her grey pelt and sharp blue eyes trained on him. He broke into a purr again and ran forward to nuzzle her. She smiled and rubbed her head on his shoulder.

Jay's Wing stepped back after a moment and let his gaze sweep the forest again. "Has the world ever been this beautiful?"

Dove's Wing turned her head, looking at the sight. "It looks the same to me."

"The sun beams… Aren't they stunning? The way they shine through that… vibrant emerald color of the leaves," Jay's Wing said. "And the sky… it's as blue as the deepest waters. The clouds are like wisps of white fur caught in a spider web. And the birds… their movements are so graceful."

Dove's Wing gave him an odd look. Jay's Wing knew he didn't talk like that much but everything was so amazing to him right now that not even the most complex metaphors could describe it.

Dove's Wing put a tail tip on his shoulder. "If you think the clearing is that great, you'll lose it when you see the tribe again but we need to get back before anyone gets worried."

Jay's Wing smiled and took off again, leaving his sister behind. She gave an indignant squawk as he disappeared behind the treeline but Jay's Wing didn't care. _Fish Leap… Half Moon… I'm coming._

* * *

Jaypaw woke feeling something cold against his fur. He wasn't confused by it for a single moment, he knew exactly what it was. He could smell the underground river's water in the air. He was in the tunnels under ThunderClan territory.

He could feel a warm pelt at his side and quickly identified it as Leafpool's. A slight resentment rose up in his chest but he pushed it away and blinked his eyes open.

The world was as black as the night sky but the sight didn't fill him with the same joy the night sky did. _Would._ The night sky was filled with stars, tiny little lights above. All he saw was the darkness. No little lights, no little havens in the dark.

Jaypaw let out a long sigh and got to his paws. Sharp pain shot through the ache of his muscles and he stifled a yowl of pain as he fell back to the floor. _What the...?_

Leafpool was suddenly hovering over him. "Jaypaw, are you alright?"

Jaypaw lifted a paw despite the ache and placed it on her chest. He shoved her back as hard as he could which wasn't very hard but the mere thought behind the action hurt more than any amount of force. Leafpool made a sound of surprise and Jaypaw could sense a wave of shock come off her. He scowled as he felt his powers again.

"Jaypaw, what's the matter?" Leafpool questioned.

"Nothing," he growled. "Just give me some space."

Leafpool just moved back to his side. "Your body is injured, Jaypaw. When we found Jay's Wing, he was badly injured and close to bleeding out. You still have several breaks and your muscles are stiff from underuse. It's going to be difficult for you to move much so you need to take it easy. It's a wonder you got here at all. You really should rest back at camp. You need-"

"Shut up!" Jaypaw snapped, slamming a paw down on the ground in a partial lash out. He didn't come very close to attacking his mentor but she still jumped back, hitting the tunnel wall behind her flatly.

"Jaypaw?"

"Don't tell me what to do!" he snarled. His face hardened into a sharper scowl and he looked down at his paws, eyes closed. "I'm a sharpclaw. A sharpclaw takes care of himself."

Leafpool blinked. "Jaypaw, you're not in the tribe anymore. You're a medicine cat apprentice and you're injured. I'm your mentor and medicine cat. Please listen to me. It's for your own good."

Jaypaw opened his eyes, glaring at her with sharp hostility. Battlemoves flashed in his mind but he didn't act on his thoughts. Instead, he pushed himself roughly to his paws and stalked out of the tunnel.

* * *

Jay's Wing felt a thrill in his heart as he dashed through the forest. Long strides skimming over the forest floor and tail streaking behind him, Jay's Wing leaped over a fallen tree as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

The ground vanished behind the tree but Jay's Wing acted as if he hadn't noticed and he landed gracefully on the ground below between two cats. Jay's Wing flashed a toothy grin, eyes bright. "Hi guys!"

The two cats each gave a startled cry at his sudden appearance and stumbled back. Jay's Wing purred as he watched the two push themselves to their paws. A pure white she-cat and a brown tabby tom gaped at him.

"Jay's Wing!" Fish Leap cried and moved to greet him but Half Moon beat him to it.

"Jay's Wing," Half Moon said, her voice barely audible through her heavy purr. She pressed against him, coiling her white form around him. Jay's Wing purred and closed his eyes but reopened them after a moment. He wanted to savor this sight. Green eyes met his blue ones and Jay's Wing plunged his face into her shoulder fur, taking in her scent like he hadn't smelled it in moons. _Half Moon… Oh how I missed you._

* * *

It was late past sunhigh by the time Jaypaw arrived at the camp entrance. Immediately, he sensed an overwhelming joy coming from two figures and they were running towards him.

"Jaypaw!" Hollypaw cried as she ran into him, pressing her head against his flank in greeting.

"Jaypaw!" Lionpaw purred as he joined her. He rubbed his head against his shoulder. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Jaypaw said, lying through his teeth. _I wish I did though._ As much as he hated to admit it, Jaypaw hadn't thought about his siblings much while he was in the tribe.

"Foxkit and Icekit will be happy to see you again," Hollypaw said, stepping away from him. "They were kind of sad to hear Jay's Wing was leaving but they were worried about you too."

"Really?" Jaypaw questioned. He never considered himself to be particularly close with those two. And apparently they knew of his absence.

Hollypaw nodded. "Of course. Everyone missed you. Well, most of the clan doesn't know what happened but you- Jay's Wing- had been kind of antisocial. He was injured so he had to spend all his time in the medicine den but still. He could've come out once in awhile."

Jaypaw blinked. He hadn't thought much about what Jay's Wing had been doing in his body. He'd been too busy enjoying Jay's Wing's life.

"Camp hasn't been the same without you around," Lionpaw added.

Jaypaw blinked. He felt an unfamiliar feeling in his chest and he shifted his paws in discomfort. He breathed in, catching the scents of ThunderClan but his littermates most of all.

"Life isn't the same without you two," Jaypaw said quietly. _For better or for worse._

Hollypaw purred. "I know leaving Jay's Wing's life must have been rough. Did you enjoy it?"

"Yeah," Jaypaw admitted. He swallowed. "I did. I really, really did."

Jaypaw felt sorrow radiate from his siblings. _Curse these powers... I don't want to feel their emotions right now..._

"Do you… wish you hadn't left?"

Jaypaw opened his mouth but no words came out. A stream of thoughts rushed through his mind faster than the water of the mountain's waterfall. On one paw, he already missed the tribe. Half Moon, she was irreplaceable. Sight, that was something he could never have again. The lack of sight took away everything from him but having it let him have everything he ever wanted. And he wanted to be a warrior. A sharpclaw.

But on the other paw, his efforts to become a warrior only hurt him in the end. Training in his dreams proved to be the worst decision he'd ever made. _But Ink… Avian… Jackal… They can't find me here... StarClan forgive me, is that the only reason I left?_

Jaypaw opened his mouth and closed it again a few times like a fish out of water unable to breath. A heavy silence lingered and Jaypaw felt a stab of hurt radiate from his siblings. Jaypaw wished he could freeze time around him and just run away. He didn't want to evoke such feelings form his littermates. Then anger rolled in his belly. _Why am I so selfish? Lionpaw... Hollypaw... I'm sorry. It's not your fault I hate my life in ThunderClan._

Deep down, he knew that wasn't totally true. Sure he cared about his siblings and appreciated that they always looked out for him but in a way they were as bad as the rest of his clanmates. They just got away with it because Jaypaw was so used to it. _They're always watching me, hovering over me, ready to catch me if I fall. Always telling me if there's a tree or root for me to run into. Always making sure to catch prey for me._ The rage in his belly suddenly erupted like a flame further ignited by a strong wind. _They never let me stand on my own._

Memories of hunting with Dove's Wing, running by the river with Fish Leap, and sharing tongues with Half Moon flashed through his mind. _I could never do that with Lionpaw and Hollypaw. They wouldn't even let me try hunting. If I even touched the riverbank, they'd drag me away like a kit by my scruff. And they're too busy to really share tongues with me. I spend way too much time in the medicine den to really have anything to talk about anyway._

Jaypaw lifted his head, feeling a wave of confidence. _That's all going to change._ He'd spent many, many nights fighting in his sleep. All that time spent training with Ink, he wasn't going to let all the nights where he sacrificed his rest and safety to become a sharpclaw go to waste. Just because he didn't live with the tribe anymore didn't mean he couldn't be a sharpclaw. _I can hunt, I can fight. I've got the Power of the Stars in my paws. I'm not going to let something as silly as blindness stop me from living my best life._

Jaypaw's cold blue eyes swept over his siblings. His tail curled behind him and he dug his claws into the ground, steeling himself. Amber and green eyes blinked, surprised and confused by the sudden way the cats' brother held himself.

"No," Jaypaw said, voice hard and even. He began walking towards camp. "I'm glad I went and I'm glad I came back."

"Really?"

Jaypaw didn't slow his stride or verbally respond. His pawsteps stayed even and steady with confidence. _Things are going to change for me. I'm going to be a sharpclaw._


	20. End Card

**Author's Note:** This chapter is basically just one big author's note but fanfic rules don't allow that so there'll be some story at the end but please do read the entire end card.

I started writing this story November/ December 2018. At the time I was planning out another story that I really wanted to put my all into so I wanted to practice a new writing style. On my story _The Ancient Spirits_ I asked if anyone had any suggestions. This was the prompt I got:

 _When Jaypaw enters the tunnels (the time he becomes jay's wing), he gets hit in the head by a rock, and Fallen Leaves finds him and drags him to the surface, where his siblings find him, unconcious and bleeding from the head. In the past, Jaypaw decides he wants to stay and live the life he always wanted as a "warrior" (well, sharpclaw) and Jay's Wing takes over Jaypaw's body. He doesnt have Rock to help explain anything, so he's just very confused and lost as to why he cant see, and where his sister is, because this she-cat named Hollypaw is NOT his sister, and he never had a brother! It mainly focuses on Jay's Wing trying to cope with being a fish out of water, and losing his sight._

This was given by Wormy, a guest, so I couldn't really ask for more on the idea but I think I did a pretty good job with this. Originally this was going to be 5 chapters since I wanted to keep the writing exercise short as you can see that didn't happen.

In regards to it as a writing exercise, you can tell that the first chapter and most of the beginning is written differently from the majority of the chapter. I kind of gave up on the writing style but I didn't want to give up on the story.

* * *

I rewrote the ending to The Wrong Pawsteps. This was the original ending I had uploaded:

"Do you… wish you hadn't left?"

Jaypaw opened his mouth but no words came out. A stream of thoughts rushed through his mind faster than the water of the mountain's waterfall. On one paw, he already missed the tribe. Half Moon, she was irreplaceable. Sight, that was something he could never have again. The lack of sight took away everything from him but having it let him have everything he ever wanted. And he wanted to be a warrior. A sharpclaw.

But on the other paw, his efforts to become a warrior only hurt him in the end. Training in his dreams proved to be the worst decision he'd ever made. _But Ink… Avian… Jackal… They can't find me here... StarClan forgive me, is that the only reason I left?_

"No," Jaypaw said at last, guilt practically drowning him.

He heard Lionpaw and Hollypaw let out breaths of relief. Jaypaw's pelt prickled with even more guilt. _They think it's because I love my life here… In reality, I'm just scared and running from a stupid decision. StarClan, what's wrong with me? I'm such a terrible brother… such a terrible apprentice… such a terrible son … such a terrible clan mate… And my brother and sister still love me like I never left. They don't know what really happened but nothing would change if they knew all my truths and lies. What did I ever do to deserve littermates like them?_

Jaypaw swallowed as emotion welled up in his throat and cleared his throat. "I love you two."

Jaypaw sensed Lionpaw and Hollypaw's surprise. After a few moments of silence, Jaypaw found himself questioning if he'd ever told them that before.

Lionpaw broke the silence first with a purr. "We love you too Jaypaw. It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back," Jaypaw responded. "I'll never leave you again."

Hollypaw butted his shoulder playfully. "You better not. Now come on. I'm sure our parents want to see you."

* * *

 **Author's Note 2:** Since I removed Author's Notes, here's some explanations that got cut out.

Hollypaw's Powers (briefly mentioned in Chapter 8)

Hollypaw doesn't actually have powers. She just thinks she does. In the books, they all know this but still seem to think she does for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure I read in one of the books or guide books that she believed her power was absolute faith in the Warrior's Code which is a pretty lame power compared to dream walking/ telepathy and invincibility so I did some looking around and found an interesting forum that had some stuff about it (wiki/Forum:Hollyleaf_power). A lot of people think her power would be her intelligence but she's not _that_ smart so I didn't choose that. Basically the forum says she can run (wind), jump (sky), swim (river), and hide (shadow) a bit better than average. Also, each of the three had a job in the final battle. Lionblaze's job was to fight, Dovewing's job was to warn them, and Jayfeather's job was to unite them. If Dovewing didn't exist, Jayfeather would have the warning job and Hollyleaf would be the one to unite everyone since she would be connected to each of the clans (including StarClan because she did train as a medicine cat for a bit). This makes the most sense but it's not going to be a major thing in the story and may not even be mentioned again. Someday I might write something about Hollylead regarding this but not in the near future.

Tribe of Still Water

The Ancients became the Tribe of Rushing Water. The Tribe of Rushing Water lives by a waterfall. The Ancients lived by a lake. The name just makes sense.

* * *

 **Author's Note 3:** I previously said there would be a sequel. I've decided to just leave this story as it is and not write a sequel. It may happen eventually but probably not. If anyone's interested in writing it or wants to see the plans I had for it, PM me.


End file.
